Confused about information makes me anxious

Question

Good morning ! 
I would really appreciate a detailed and honest answer regarding my situation. Been obsessing over it for days and I’m confused regarding the information I’m getting and reading over the internet.

I’m an adult in my late 30s and I don’t usually engage in sexual acts outside my relationship specially intercourse and oral even if protected for my fears of contracting stds.

Recently I had an encounter with a woman but did not led into any penetration / intercourse . She gave me a hand job until I came and she let me suck her breasts. I rubbed her vagina over her clothing. 

It was dark , wet and hot and I really didn’t know if I sucked and ingested  her milk , breast discharge or sweat. What I know is she has a 2 year old son and she mentioned in passing  she never breast fed . 

I got scared and became obsessed researching when I came across articles that breastmilk is a means of acquiring hiv. But what I’m reading from your forum is it’s not and has zero risk even if consumed in quantity and has sores and dental problems .
1. Should I worry about a risk considering if she is positive and I swallowed her milk or breast discharge ?
2. Is testing needed ?
3. Is this act safe and can I continue unprotected sex with my partner if ever

Hoping for your guidance and for you to help relieve me of my worries . 

Thank you , you guys are helping allot of worried people as I read your forum .

AnxiousNoMore · Accepted Answer

Your situation involves personal contact with an object in air  (hand,  fluids,  maybe blood, cuts,  milk, sweat,  discharge, etc. ). You will be happy to learn that you had no risk, because you can't get hiv from personal contact except unprotected penetrating vaginal or anal with a penis, neither of which you did and you didn't share hollow needles to inject with which is the only other way to acquire hiv - there are ONLY 3 ways to get hiv. Note that 2 of them require a penis and the third requires a hollow injecting shared needle - there are no OTHER ways to get hiv. Analysis of large numbers of infected people over the 40 years of hiv history has proven that people don't get hiv in the way you are worried is a risk.
Hiv is a fragile virus in air or saliva and is effectively instantly dead in either air or saliva so the WORST that could happen is dead virus rubbed you, and obviously anything which is dead cannot live again so you are good. Blood and cuts would not be relevant in your situation since the hiv has become effectively dead, so you don't have to worry about them to be sure that you are safe.
There is no reason for a person to test when they are safe. The advice took into consideration that the other person might be positive, so move on and enjoy life instead of thinking about this non-event. hiv prevention is straightforward since there are only 3 ways you can become infected, so next time you wonder if you had a risk, ask yourself this QUESTION. "Did I do any of the 3?" Then after you ANSWER "No, I didn't" you will know that it's time to move on back to your happy life.
No one got hiv from what you did during 40 years of hiv history and no one will get it in the next 40 years of your life either.  You can do what you did any time and be safe from hiv.
The other person's status is irrelevant when you have no exposure to live virus. You can't get hiv when you use a condom, and if it failed it would rip wide open down the seam so that didn't happen.
Your worries should stop now.

Sara_MHModerator · Answer

Your question has been fully answered. We wish you the best. 

***  thread closed ***

GuitarRox · Answer

I think this is not the first time you've been through this either with us or yourself. Anxiety will keep you asking but we aren't going to reassure you anymore. Seek professional help for the anxiety. Take care.

Confused about information makes me anxious

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