Oral Sex - I am just really stressing and losing it

[Worried_AGAIN1]

Before I start discuss my current situation, let me briefly discuss two prior situations that I posted here where people claimed to be no risk situations.  The first situation happened a while ago and I tested almost 6 weeks after negative.  Within those 6 weeks, three weeks after the first situation, I got scared again about another situation so that first test will result in 3 weeks negative for the second situation (sorry if that sounds confusing).  I guess I won't go too into detail about those situations since people here told me no risk and not to test again.  I eventually got passed it all and moved on with those results and the comments here, but here I am now because of a new situation that I am really starting to regret.

Current situation:
About 1.5 months ago I had oral sex with a female (I am male).  I also should mentioned I ejaculated in her mouth.  I really really wasn't expecting it to go that far, we were drunk and just were kissing for the most part.  She just started and it happened.  I don't know too much about the girl, but we are both in college and I am pretty sure shes had actual sex before (I am still a virgin not counting oral sex).  I have no idea on her status.  This was my first time receiving oral sex.  Now I know many of you might disregard this post as well and tell me its a no risk situation, but I just can't get myself to believe that.  I mean, I keep thinking she might of had some sort of bad oral hygiene or that she was out to get me as bad as that sounds.  I really don't think thats the case, but I still think it.  Other things contributing to this mess is the fact that a lymph node in my neck seems swollen.

I think I noticed this whole lymph node ordeal after the first situations, but like I said I eventually got over those, but now with this whole oral sex thing, I keep checking it and wonder if its a symptom from the first experiences or this oral sex deal.  What really scares me is that I read somewhere that once one has hiv, nodes aren't the same and stay swollen or messed up; they don't go back to normal.  <- Is this true? Well this node never seemed to be like this a year ago or at least I never noticed it and now it seems like its permanently swollen.  I don't think I have swollen nodes anywhere else in the body, but i could be wrong.

Now I did go to the doctor to get it this node checked out.  The doctor examined it and the rest of my neck/collar area/head and she claims the node I am worried about isn't swollen.  She said its more to the surface than the others and that's why its more noticeable.  I don't believe she found any other swollen ones.  Now I know this is a doctor telling me this, but I guess its possible for her to be wrong.  I mean, I never noticed this node before and if I position my neck a certain angle, it really sticks out.  It just scares me because I never noticed it until those first two situations I discussed earlier.  

Now I am trying to tell myself that if I noticed this wired node before the oral sex, then it can't be related to the oral sex situation, but I still think it is.  Now another thing I noticed about 2 days ago is a possible rash on my back.  I am really not sure if its acne, but there are about 10 pimple red like dots spread out on my back.  Would a hiv rash show up this late, (about 1.5 months) or maybe I just never noticed it until now.  I am itching sometimes too, but itching isn't related to hiv rashes from what I have read.  I also seem to have a hives like rash or bumps on my sides and chest that itch.

I haven't been really sick with a fever or anything like that, but this node and this possible rash are really getting me.  I know I am going to force myself to test again, but I really really don't want to.  I can't stand the stress and depression.  Its like I can't get away from this.  Every where I go I see hiv testing billboards and even today leaving class there was a health clinic community bus with hiv signs and what not.  I can't imagine how much I will freak when I actually have sex.  I just want to be relieved from all of this.  Its like every 3 months something new pops up and I start freaking out.  I believe if I test again it will be like the 4th/5th one and I haven't even had actually sex!

To sum things up:
- I had oral sex, ejaculated in a females mouth
- worried about a possible swollen lymph node
- worried about a possible rash mainly on my upper back

Thanks for reading my lengthy post.  I just don't have anyone else to go to about this and I am afraid to talk to someone I know.  Thanks.

[Worried_AGAIN1]

Teak...I didn't intend to make double nicknames.  The first one was already taken.  SHould I make a new one and repost?  I am not trying to cause trouble...I am really worried.

[Teak]

* Any member who creates a second nickname will immediately be banned and have any subsequent nicknames banned.