Fingering, Oral, Precum

[Terribly_Concerned]

I engaged in unprotected fingering and oral sex with a married man of 30+ years at the end of December 2014.  He performed oral sex on me and I on him.  He did not ejaculate.  He did not even get fully erect.  He fingered my vagina and anus.  There was precum on his penis. I remember touching it with my finger.  I do not know if it was on his fingers prior to him putting them in my vagina although it is possible.  I do remember a slight pain which makes me think I may have slightly torn at the base of my vagina.  This is really scary because of his precum.  Prior to putting his finger in my anus, he left the room and went to the bathroom and put petroleum jelly on his finger.  He then returned and fingered inside my anus.  I don't know if he touched himself before doing so or if precum was on his finger; it may have been.  He also rubbed his penis against my vagina.  He never penetrated me with his penis and at no time did he ejaculate, again because he never got fully erect.  He says he is not HIV+ as he has been tested at some point for life insurance purposes although I don't know how long ago. I also don't know if he is being truthful. I am married and had unprotected sex with my husband approximately 4-5 days later.  My husband got sick about a week after that and was diagnosed with an upper respiratory infection.  I have not gotten "sick" although about a week and a half ago, I got a headache, my face under my eyes hurt, it seems like the lymph nodes in my neck were swollen, and my ears started to hurt.   I haven't had a fever and I haven't felt "bad." I have been SCARED sick!  I can't sleep and think I have been infected with HIV and have infected my husband.  Please assess my HIV risk if he is HIV+.  I want so badly to move on from this, but I am so scared.  Thank you.

[Vance2335]

No risk

[Terribly_Concerned]

There was vaginal and anal penetration with his finger that may have had precum on it.  Is that considered "no penetration" or is there no risk in finger penetration even with precum on the finger?

[Insbiz]

Guilt and anxiety can be a terrible combination if mixed together. Having said that you were at no risk for HIV as no penetration occured. If you want peace of mind go get tested. Expect it to be negative.