"but i had read many articles on google that condoms are only 80% successful in preventing hiv."
You can read anything on the internet and 80% is so silly that I don't even know why you believe it. The first step to peace is to stop googling for death - cold turkey. The second step is to stop examining your body cold turkey. Unless you do both of them you will continue to waste your time making yourself scared.
I am sorry you are having such intense thoughts about self harm. Make sure you get help for this. There are international hotlines/websites specializing in this that will have people you can communicate with regarding depression and suicidal thoughts. With regards to HIV, you had NO risk. Protected sex means you had a barrier that prevented transmission. Oral sex and fingering are not risks. Air and saliva inactivate the virus. This site is guided by doctors in the field of HIV and is moderated. They don't allow inaccurate information. The only ways that people get HIV is to have unprotected without condom penetrating vaginal or anal intercourse or sharing IV drug needles. These are the only ways. You did not get HIV from your encounter.
You need to stop thinking about suicide since you don't have hiv and you probably don't have any problem except worrying.
You can't get hiv when you used a condom. You also can't get hiv from oral btw.
You are probably imagining all these symptoms since they are not there a day later, but if you are sure you are sick then see a doctor for a correct diagnosis (the diagnosis can't be hiv) since you are wasting your time thinking it is hiv. Stop poking your lymph and irritating them because you don't know what they are supposed to feel like.
i am to worried even having some suicidal thoughts