Scared about acquiring HIV from prostitute

[BatsiTown]

1. I am the dumbest person alive
2. I made one mistake that I am never going to do again for the rest of my life, and I am also going to regret it until the day I die…here is the story (as brief as I can make it)….

I am a heterosexual male in his mid 30s, married for 3 years with no kids. I am well educated, and have always been the “smart one” when it comes to refraining from nonsensical activities. I am a resident of New York, and was out on the west coast (San Francisco) for business when I went to a “massage parlor”. Generally, I know that these parlors usually involve a massage (which is what I actually wanted) and (possibly) a happy ending (which I wouldn’t have minded, but honestly didn’t care either way).

Long story short, I get there, and things start getting interesting. I start getting a massage, and the girl start rubbing my stuff from behind, and then starts licking my anus. Obviously, it was arousing. The next thing I knew, I was flipped over and she was sucking me. Now, if you are a guy, and everyone knows as well as I do, it is extremely hard to stop someone that is doing that…however, I managed to stop it after about 10 seconds. The next thing I know, she puts a condom on, and jumps on top of me without asking (yes, I am telling the truth…however, I am not completely innocent, I couldn’t have easily stopped her….again, very hard to do). After about (I would say…30 seconds or so, I finished, inside her, with the condom on). Condom came off, I paid, I left…

After leaving, my guilty conscience started (as well as the fear of having contracting something). I then immediately went to the ER and told the doctor what happened. At that point, I was given some strong antibiotics and tested for Herpes, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and something else what I could not recall. (Just for the record, that swab they give you for the testing...Wow...that hurt like hell!) The doctor advised, however, that he could not test for HIV due to the fact that I would need counseling, etc.

A few days later, I called in for my tests, and everything was negative (thank God!). About 2 weeks (10 days) after the “contact”, I then took one of those take home HIV test…negative. The week after that (last week) I took one that my doctor administered (I was scheduled for my yearly physical anyway)…negative. It’s been about 24 days since my encounter, and I have not been able to sleep, and when I do sleep, I keep having nightmares about infecting my wife, ruining my life, and basically killing myself in the event that I have contracted a deadly which I could spread to my family from one stupid encounter that would never happen again!

I have had no symptoms since except for a small canker sore in my mouth, which has subsequently healed (I think it may have been a result of “pinching” or something during a dental cleaning).

So, now I spend all my times reading up on this, and everything I have done appears to be low risk. However, I can’t help but feel that I need to be punished for what I did, and I should not be allowed to get away with this. I should discuss with my wife, but I can’t let this once incident that I am never going to do again ruin the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. It’s also going to kill me if I have to wait another 6 months to “be in the clear” … At this point, I will be taking tests every week or so… Should I continue? When should I stop getting tested?

Please give one stupid individual some advice before I wind up doing something stupid….

While I know this is a very serious disease, I was “protected”, and I really hate my childhood inner city school public education and the media for making me paranoid…

Thanks!

[joggen]

Here is a quote from Dr. Handsfield (STD Expert Forum):

"properly used condoms are probably just about 100% protective against gonorrhea, chalmydia, and HIV"

There is a VERY low risk for STDs that are transmitted by skin contact (herpes, syphilis). Please take further questions on STDs to the STD forum.

My final suggestion is that you seek a mental health professional to help you work through your guilt if you haven't already. Your anxiety over this situation is your primary health concern, not the negligible STD risk associated with condom-protected sex.

[BatsiTown]

Teak, I hate to keep harping on this, but I had another quick question. I have been anxious and depressed for days. Today, I feel like crap. I am getting numbness and tingling all over my body, and I was light-headed all morning (where at one point I thought I was going to faint at work). I’m also having hot flashes, but not really a fever. I have been taking anti-depressants (ativan/lunesta for sleep) for the last few weeks, and stopped over the last few days. I know that you said I was not at risk for HIV, and I can accept that; however, do you think that there could be any other STDs that I could have acquired that are causing these symptoms. I am also having difficulty concentrating, but there is nothing visible on my body to indicate anything (bumps, rashes, etc). Please advise. Thanks!

[Teak]

Had you had a risk, a five week test isn't reliable at all.

[BatsiTown]

Thanks man, much appreciated. Just one more quick question...How accurate do you think a test is at 5 weeks?

[lanvin]

I hear ya, no worries though. If the others had read what I said they would have seen I said if you used it properly you're ok, and its sounds as if you did! I was just trying to give you condoms facts. Sadly I can allow myself to get on debates and don't realize it might freak you out. But I understand sometimes you need what you need to get piece of mind and thats ok too! Very normal.Don't beat yourself up ,we all make mistakes.

[jose883]

You are negative, you didn't have a risk. Believed! Do not spend the next five months suffering! Really!