I have been sleeping with a girl for about two years. She hasnt mentioned that she uses heroin currently, but admitted to using in the past. I know she uses pills and flips them, and is sexually active with her dealer.
We live together. Recently I noticed small red wounds on the top her forearms (not a traditional injection site) In addition, her eyebrows and face have always had some kind of issue with them, which she would cover with small bandages since I’ve known her. Being unfamiliar with drug use and the appearance of addicts, I just ignored these.
We have had unprotected sex the whole time, and have also been in an open relationship more or less where we can see other people but we dont really discuss much about details.
Ive noticed small red dots on various spots on the top of her arm, her shoulders, here and there but dismissed them til now. I am currently having unprotected sex (a total of twice) with someone else and still sexually active with the user. What is the level of risk of hiv and should I tell my other partner about it?
I fear it will cause strife btw my new partner and myself but I also feel like I owe it to her to tell the truth about my first partner and her struggle with drugs. I have no credible proof she is injecting iv drugs but finding the small wounds on her arm (not to mention the small facial wounds/scarring that I previously dismissed) has made me very worried that not only am I at risk, but have also betrayed the trust of the new partner who I care very much about. My partner who is the user has also visibly gotten worse in addition to the marks on her forearm, she has nodded off a few times midday. I am unsure if the wounds are skin picking or track marks since I am totally unfamiliar with the outward appearance of pill/heroin addicts.
I have tested negative for HIV twice, as recently as two months ago. But from my understanding that will only cover the last 3 months? I took another test yesterday, and had sex with the user, later that afternoon. A negative will only tell me that I havent been exposed in the 3 months prior to the test correct?
Does this also mean I should abstain with sex with my new partner for the next 3 months? Until I am fully out of the woods and can truthfully tell her I am negative for sure. I dont plan on sleeping with the partner who is using anymore.
Is there a test that can detect hiv sooner than the 3 month window from exposures? If so when would be a good time to take it, and should my non user partner also be made aware and asked to test herself? Sorry for all the questions but any help would be appreciated.
I am anxious about telling my new partner anything without knowing all the facts, but I feel she should know I am sexually active with someone who is high risk. Im also ready to abstain with the user as I am scared like hell that I could be jeapordizing my health, and that of my new partner who I wish to prioritize in my life going forward. However, I also fear if I tell her that I have been sexually active with a known drug user, (and possibly iv heroin user) that she would be pissed and want nothing to do with me.
Is there an ethical way I can avoid telling her everything about my last partner or should I just tell her everything? How real is my risk level at this point, in your best guess?