Dear All, on 30th December 2017, I went to my neighbourhood pub with my sister. We had a couple of drinks (I easily drank 10 pints over 4 hours) played pool. Chatted with a few people. Then I cabbed Home with my Sister. Showered and felt asleep but before that I threw up cos I drank on a rather empty stomach. Haven’t been eating well cos of my eating disorder. So there was this guy who just saw me and asked me how was my night. I said it was alright and proceeded to offer him a pint cos we ordered a jug and a tower. He declined but wished me happy New year in advance. The next day I woke up and somehow freaked that I may have had sex with him in the restroom. But despite that thought, I clearly remembered each time I was in the restroom, I was alone. In my ocd state I always make sure I record myself continuously through pictures or videos. There was atleast a few chunks of 30 minutes where I did no recording probably because I was playing pool and watching the man utd match that was on. My Sister was with me most of the time except when she had to use the rest room. I can’t shake the feeling off. And I know if I go into the compulsion of testing, I won’t come out of it. Deep down I knew nothing happened, and even if I was drunk which I was and if something major like having sex with a stranger or shooting up drugs I would have remembered. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m trying to look for a therapist but no one in my area could offer CBT or exposure therapy. I have to venture to the city area and that sounds crazy expensive. Any advice on how to beat these thoughts that i somehow had sex with someone and contracted HIV or I shot up drugs ?