Unproteced Vaginal Encounter With Escort

[lumbo]

Hi, 8 days ago I made the biggest mistake of my life.  I had an encounter with a ESCORT visiting NJ from Tampa, FL.  I received unprotected oral and then she asked if I wanted to have vaginal intercourse.  I said yes and like normal escorts I was waiting for the condom but she inserted my penis into her as she got on top and grinded my for about a minute until I realized I was nuts.  I immediately went into panic. She said she is an exotic dancer in Tampa and this was her first go at being an escort.  She claims she is 100% clean and has an AIM Certificate to prove it.  She says she can't work without it.  (Of course this certificate was back in Florida.)  I am scared because she didn't seem to be worried about catching anything from my by doing that.  

That's my story, here are my questions?

1. I know this is a high risk situation, what are my chances of catching HIV?

2. Is this AIM certificate something that she could be telling the truth about?

3. How long do I have to wait until I can get tested?  What are the stats for each testing period of accuracy.

4. Is there a test I can take at 2-3 weeks to help with my anxiety?

5. Can my anxiety lead to symptoms of ARS?  Within the last couple of days I have had a lot of pain in the left side of my neck where the lymph nodes would be and I have swollen tonsils. No fever to speak of yet.

I appreciate your help and advice, I am truly a mess and this is not something you can really talk about among friends and family.  

[santanukum]

Fantastic reply.I have a question--Can one get Hiv if he is having blowjob using condom for abou a few second?

[jeffhaley]

Hey dipsh it, this question was posted over on the Doctor-Patient forum and Dr. HHH agrees with what Gates said, not with what you said. Sounds like you really are a f*cking dumbass after all!

Gates is a PA and is very well educated, and jerk offs like you who live in your mom's basement need to step the hell off and not act like you're smarter than him. Idiot.

[jeffhaley]

Dude, you do realize that there are other things to worry about besides HIV by not wearing a condom right? I think just about 100% of the people on this forum, including Dr. HHH, would agree that it wasn't you who made Gates look silly, but the other way around. But keep telling yourself otherwise if it makes you feel better.

[dumbo]

Thats what I thought.

[dumbo]

Good attempt at covering/diversion.....I made you look bad so you resort to diversion tactics to "redeem" yourself.

Again, why wouldn't you f*k this escort without a rubber if you are so certain of your knowledge? why why why why? Come on little man, why not?

[gates85]

You may not in fact be the only one who sees it that way, but only because other morons like you do in fact exist in this world. Your ill-informed statements are all over the map, and you've shown a complete inability to back up your irrational thoughts and conjectures with any sort of fact whatsoever. The ultimate showcase of your stupidity was when you made the remark about "If most women and hookers in the US do not have HIV, and you meet an escort or any woman willing to have unprotected sex, then why not?" Wow. Is your mother proud of the fact that she raised an idiot boy?

You are completely clueless and I am through taking part in your mindless pi ssing contest. I have tried to educate you to the facts but if you don't want to pull your head out of your rear end and listen then that is your problem. I'm done with you. Goodbye.

[dumbo]

"I'm surprised that you would ask the same stupid question twice about whether I would have unprotected sex with this particular escort. But since you are so hell-bent on asking the question, then fine, I'll play. No, I would not have unprotected sex with her, nor with any other unknown woman who I was not in a monogamous relationship with."

F*ck you're dumb.  I never once said this escort HAD HIV but that the odds you cite are not accurate for her case.  Even Dr. H would agree with that I am sure.  She has no regard for condom protected intercourse, but yet you say she is still low risk?  now that is stupid.... really. She probably has sex with an average say, 4 men per day avg....at even 5 days per week to be conservative which would equal approx 1040 men per year x how many years she has been doing this.  If she is doing this all unprotected then she is at extremely high risk...that is logical isnt it?  If you don't think so then you should go back to grade school before trying to impress people with your "knowledge".

Sure the original poster should be ok, the duration was short and stats say that one time encounters with an "infected" partner is rare.  That is not the issue here.

And to clarify my "stupid question that puts you on the spot and makes you look like a complete ass", you are not so sure of your stats and odds that you confidently state in previous posts.  If most women and hookers in the US do not have HIV, and you meet an escort or any woman willing to have unprotected sex, then why not?  Because you do not know what you speak of and because you are not confident in what you spew for information.  

I am sure I am not the only one who sees it this way....you should quit typing now as you are just digging yourself in deeper with each push on the keyboard.

[gates85]

I'm a PA working on my doctorate, and I've had plenty of experience with HIV studies and research. I already stated that I don't profess to be a doctor or an expert like Dr. HHH, however if you've noticed that there is a similiarity between the advice he gives and the advice that I give, it is only because we are both aware of the same facts and figures with regards to HIV. I'm sorry that my viewpoints don't agree with yours, but then again, unlike you, I don't deal in making stupid statements completely unbased on actual facts.

To the rest of your ill-informed post, no it would not be logical to assume that the escort in question has HIV, because the vast majority of female escorts and women in general in the US do not have that virus.. It is quite far from logical to automatically assume that any one woman has a virus that they are very statistically unlikely to have.   But then again, logic seems to have escaped you long ago, so I'm probably talking to a brick wall.

I'm surprised that you would ask the same stupid question twice about whether I would have unprotected sex with this particular escort. But since you are so hell-bent on asking the question, then fine, I'll play. No, I would not have unprotected sex with her, nor with any other unknown woman who I was not in a monogamous relationship with. I'm not sure what you're trying to prove by asking the question, but the fact that consistent condom use is a good idea to avoid other much higher risk factors such as pregnancy and infection with other STD's still doesn't make the extremely low risk for HIV any higher.

Conclusion: The first 4 letters of your screename describe you perfectly.

[dumbo]

sorry, ignore my last post.....mike_no was not the original poster to whom I was speaking to.

[dumbo]

"all I wanted to have is a second opinion"

You are simply hearing what you want to hear in this one.  You said this happened 8 days ago?  If I were you I would test at6-8 weeks.....I am not fear mongering with you and I completely understand how you feel comfort reading posts from people who tell you what you want to hear, but nobody in here can offer a second opinion, nobody.  Only a Dr. can such as Dr. H.

I usually go with the stats and odds as well, but in your case you were with someone who had no concern about protection and probably never does.  Most people in this lifestyle have other risks, such as drugs, or partners of drug users, men who have been incarcerated, etc......it comes with the lifestyle.

[dumbo]

" or the regular sex partner of an HIV-infected man."

And would it not be logical to think that she may do just this because she is so cavalier about condom use with strange men?  Do you not think then that she is definitely not using condoms with a possible potential regular partner?

I read your response a few times and you are regurgitating what Dr.H says.  He is obviously the expert, not you as you profess to specialize in.

I ask again, would you have unprotected sex with this specific escort?  If not why not if you are so sure in your statements?  Are you scared to answer this question?

I would be far less concerned with a condom break with a hooker, as this to me indicates she is concerned about hiv and other std's, big difference.

Even Dr.H determines his responses based on a mentioned partners sexual history.

Conclusion, you are wrong on this one.

[anonymous_user]

i too do that....
but what relieved me was hearing comments from mike, teak and you guys...
that really relieved my tension (even though i will go for a 12+ testing :P)

i think what our problem is,
we use internet a lot. and free time now is used in surfing for "HIV"
we need to convince self, that we are negative, even after this much knowledge shared. instead we think about the 1% chance.
we know that we are on a "low risk" category, but dont accept it. (mine is a single exposure (condom breakage), and i dont know the exact time, i am taking the worst case scenario).

thanks..

[mike_no]

Thanks partner :)

Actually,you gotta trust me when I say I'm able to do that infact do that quite loud but all I wanted to have is a second opinion

your response was very helpful

Regards
Mike

[gates85]

You don't need anymore testing. What you need to do is stand in front of the mirror and say "I don't have HIV, I don't have HIV." It really is true ya know ;)

[mike_no]

I'd like to ask you a quick question here,

I had a low risk exposure (unprotected vaginal), tested 'undetectable' on the 9th day RNA PCR, 'negative' on the 28th day duo test and 'negative'on the 42nd day duo test, I don't intend to test any more, would that be right on my part or you think a retest at the 12th week is required?

Your response would be much appreciated

Regards :)

Mike

[mike_no]

What a response, I really like your expertise, hats off !

[gates85]

I have done plenty of research on HIV, it's a specialty of mine actually, so I am not simply restating what Dr. HHH has said on numerous occasions, although I do hold him in very high regard and would not profess to be an expert like him. When I say that HIV is rare in women in the United States, that applies to all women including ones that are very promiscous. The fact that this particular woman doesn't practice consistent condom use doesn't provide enough information to put her in a high risk category for HIV. What would place her in that category would be if she were an injection drug user or the regular sex partner of an HIV-infected man. Simply the fact that she is promiscuous and doesn't use condoms doesn't make her a significant HIV risk, because most unsafe heterosexuals will go their entire lives without seriously risking HIV infection. Of course, the same cannot be said for gay men who don't use condoms for sex and injection drug users who share needles, who can pretty much expect to catch HIV one day. Even if we were to be ultra conversative in assessing lumbo's risk and assume a 10% chance his female partner was infected and a 1 in 1000 chance of him being infected from his 1 minute encounter, that still leaves him with a 1 in 90,000 chance of having been infected. Again, those odds are even lower because the risk his partner was infected are far lower than 10% and his risk of getting HIV from such a short exposure are less than 1 in 1000. Hardly a high risk situation.

And your question about whether all this an excuse not to use condoms is too stupid to even answer, so I won't waste my time with it.

[dumbo]

We all make mistakes.  You got caught up in the moment....I mean we are not meant to have something wrapped around our peckers when primal instincts take over.  Your risk was slightly higher imo, but short in duration so I am confident you are ok.  A 6 -8 week test should be fine.  I definitely think you should test though......

[dumbo]

I completely disagree.  Sure, the exposure was of short duration, so in my eyes, that's what makes it "low risk" in this instance.  But, the overall situation is not low risk.  You can cite all the odds you want, especially in regards to "low instance of hiv in hookers in NA, low instance of infection for 1 time encounters" but those do not apply here.  The escort is not having a "one time event" this is a regular event for her obviously......she is high risk in that regard.

For the original poster, he is considered low risk because stats/odds say this is a one time event for him, and that may be rue.  But he is with a high risk partner, IMO.  That makes all the difference.

If you are so sure about this is a low risk, would you go have condomless sex with this escort then if you are so sure? If not, why not?  or are you simply repeating what you "think" the Dr.has said in the past?

[gates85]

The overall situation is still low risk because of the probability factors at hand. HIV in women is very rare in women in the US, and that includes very promiscuous women who don't make their male partners wear condoms. Then there is the low probability of a man being infected by an HIV-positive woman from a single event of unprotected vaginal sex, which in this particular case, is even lower considering the sex lasted for only a minute. The odds of both unlikely events occuring at once are literally lower than being struck by lightning.  Sure, it's disconcerting that this escort isn't adamant about condom use, but that still doesn't make this situation high risk for HIV.

[dumbo]

I disagree.  I believe an escort, who is so cavalier with protection, should be avoided.  Sure, maybe the odds say this is low risk, but in this case, the act without protection was deliberate.  How many men has she done this with?  

I just went through something like this yesterday.  I still frequet massage parlors as it is easier than having a GF.  So, I have seen this girl a few times.  I said yesterday I wanted to have intercourse, but without a condom to test her and her habits....she said ok but pull out!!!  I said I was just checking and not interested in that.  I went with a handjob as I felt anything else is too risky now with her.   I will not see her again.

To me, this situation is crazy especially with an escort/prostitute.  It is different if protection was used and it accidentally failed, as you could logically determine the partner you were with is obviously concerned with their own safety as well.  

That said, I would think 1 minute of uncovered sex is really nothing to worry about.....but play smarter next time.

[lumbo]

Sorry, I had one more question.  At the 6 week mark, what test should I ask for and how long to the results take to come back?  How are the results given?

Thanks again

[lumbo]

I want to thank everybody for taking their time out to respond because I haven't slept well or have eaten in days.  I will take your advice and wait it out until the 6 week mark.  It's not an easy wait but I think the anxiety is messing me up more than anything else and finally just writing about it makes me feel a little better.  I will definitely learn from my stupid mistake.

[gates85]

You actually had a very low risk encounter, not a high risk one. Most escorts in the US do not have HIV, and it is true that in most places they cannot work without a clean bill of sexual health. Plus, even if she had HIV, which she almost certainly didn't, your chances of getting it from 1 minute of unprotected vaginal sex are very, very low. Of course in the future you should always be smarter and always wear condoms, but I wouldn't freak out about HIV.