please help im on edge need some advice
You don't have HIV because you never had a risk.You used protection both times.If you want to test for more common STD's you can but not HIV.Your symptoms really sound like extreme stress and anxiety over this and the fact you seem to think that you have already contracted HIV is a sign that you are very stressed.The fact of the matter is that you are safe and no testing is required.The chance that she would have HIV anyway are around 1%.
i forgot to mention the second time i visited the csw she had a bruice like blotch on her left cheek i noticed it after noticing the herpes on her anus just to be more specific of my symptoms from first exposure on feb 1 were:
flu with cough, night sweats only legs and pelvic region, the herpes behind my right knee, fever, i dont remember touching nor even paid attention to lymph nodes at the time but pretty sure they must of been swollen, back pain on legs and a rash blotch on my ribcage area. I ignored symptoms but on feb25 was the second exposure when i noticed a blotch on her face after noticing the herpes lesions on her. from feb 25 i knew i had herpes at first i forgot to mention also in mid march my nose started burning really bad and developed a blister on my left nostril and one little bump on the side of the nose but only on the outside, until right now the blister on my nostril and the little bump on the side of my nose it hasnt scabbed os heal. In april i started to develop little blanching moskito size pimples on my chest. And in april is when i also noticed the brown dried skin blotch on my shoulder which looked like a scab which i scraped off and there was a puss filled pimple like under the dry skin , Also two weeks ago my my groin lymph nodes swelled only noticed a bean shaped bump on each side and the right one bothered me i had to wear my pants up.. my right lymph node under my chin swells and causes me to choke sometimes and my left lymph node under my chin swells and goes down , as of right now my right lymph node is swollen and my left is a little swollen i also have a small bump under the skin behind my neck and skin above it was red , right now i can feel two bean shape size bumps on each side of my groin, I also have two big red pimple like bumps on my chest i tried popping them but they wont pop one blanches the other doesnt. Also what really concerns me is the purple bruise like blotch with a center color of my skin its dissapearing, its fading away but that never happened before i never had bruices like that, i was wearing long sleeve shirts because i didnt want my coworkers to see it and ive been acting noticeble unsteady that one coworker asked me whats wrong with me and just dont want them to suspect i might have hiv. If its kaposis sacorma can it develop in early hiv infection?
Right now i feel prickling needles on arms and legs and all my muscles are tweatching alot the shake throughout my body. Ive been able to eat a bit more but only put on five pounds then drop back to 170, my nose burns and tingles on and off for the past week but dont break out with herpes and still have one herpe lesion outside my nose and a blister inside my nostril that havent scabbed nor heal in a month and a half, righht now my neck is also red but i dont see bumps, i havent had a single herpes lesion on my penis nor pelvic region and havent had a herpes outbreak on my knees but i think i have diseminated herpes because of the ones i have on my nose that havent healed and the ones i broke out with on my knees during first exposure. I also have purple spider veins on my ancles. Lets say i have hiv but i dont want to face reality of the thruth yet like in another three months because i have no money for an std screening right now would my immune system be compromised for not starting medication early? i also been smoking alot lately, I also notice white coating on my tongue last week but im able to brush it off can it be thrush? about my weight i only noticed ive been loosing it on my legs because my pants seem to be baggier and my trunk remains in the same shape my buttocks seem smaller, also ive been checking my arm strenght lately to see if im weaker but it looks like i still have the same strenght in them which gives a little hope. I know this is an advice forum but what concerns me the most is the lymph nodes and the purple bruise like blotch that appeared on my forearm with a white center for no reason any suggestions what can it be?? Im so broken right now i dont feel suicidal but i can feel the pressure already of being positive, can early hiv symptoms happen so sporadic months apart, i feel so so broken i know i messed up please excuse me but i need to drain myself since i cant talk to any one about my situation since i want to cry but i just cant i only get watery eyes i see girls now and i know and i just dont see them the same as before i dont feel atracted to them anymore, my urge for meeting strangers got me in this mess, I had a dream of having a wife and children and now i see it slippin through my fingers like water, I cant escape this reality even when im sleeping i have nightmares of cemeterys and me looking at myself in my dreams as hiv +. Today my dad called me to go to an auction with him which i didnt really want to go because of my anxiety and depresion but i still went with him and i usually dont hug my dad but today i wanted to hug him and tell him how much i love him and my mom also i just want to breakdown but i cant.When we all go through bad situations like this one we see what life is really like because alot of good things that didnt happen before start happening i just ask god for forgivness to give me another chance at life
. im sorry for the long thread but i need to take this out of my chrst please dont ban me, I never thought this couldve happen to me but then i think twice and say to myself why this couldnt happen to you alot of bad stuff happened to you why couldnt this happen to you, you shouldve learned from your past that anything can happen. My emotions are out, please bear with me. One more last question i forgot to ask lets say the csw punctured the condom with a needle would the condom had burst enough for me to notice? because her actions were kind of weird she tried kissing me and i told her not to kiss me and she insisted on getting on top of me to infect me because im pretty sure she was aware of her herpes outbreak during our second encounter. So if she did puncture the condom would it had burst during intercourse ? i know i need to get tested and im pretty sure ill be + but just one last advise would be helpful, and if im positive can i still have hiv - children with no risk?sorry for the long post but i need to get this out of me thank you for ur time and patience.
You never had a risk and it's not good to think you have HIV from zero risk exposures.If you can't accept this then you require therapy.
one more last question but before thank you for replying back, i promise not to ask anymore ?'s until i have enough guts to go and get tested, but if the csw puntured the condom since she provided it and was trojan would the condom had burst for me to notice, or would the condom remain intact with puntures on it thank you for ur patience.
She wouldn't do anything to the condom and if she did it would have broke and been obvious.Don't let fear make your imagination run wild.You don't need HIV testing,please accept the facts.
thank you for your time really appreciate it
You're welcome and please relax now.
Im so sorry for posting up again but today i noticed a brown flat patch scab look alike skin its not a scratch or anything it just appeared , on my shoulder could that be related to hiv ?? and yesterday i had a red blanching pimple which today has a white head any opinion would be appreciated.
also what concerns me is the lymph node behind my neck is a little non mobile bump under the skin its not a pimple thank you for your time and patience.
You were already told you never had a risk. We can't answer every anxiety driven question you come up with. I would strongly recommend you seek professional help for your anxiety.
You had no risk for HIV.
thank you for replying back you guys really help sorry for me being so stuborn but when something like this start happening we assume the worst.