Aa
Wish I could follow my own advice!
I so wish I could follow my own advice............
Ok, here's the rub; Tested TWICE for HIV a while back at 1 month with the DUO and again at 3 months with the Determine Rapid test at a reputable private clinc in London, with a Dr fully registered with the GMC and Healthcare Commission, who's main clinical interest and area of expertise was mens sexual health. Both tests came back as NEGATIVE. Also tested TWICE for STI's which also came back neg.
Anyway, I'm starting to freak out again, a I've noticed, what looks like Geographic Tongue. Goes without saying that i've been under accute anxiety and stress and have been treated with antidepressents about a month ago. I'm also on Amoxicillin for a touch of Bronchitis (always get it at this time of year as I have mild Asthma). BTW the Geo Tongue came up on Monday night I started taking the Amoxicillin last night.
So. Am I just freaking out. Or should I look into this further? I'm married and scared I might have put my wife at risk.
Ok, here's the rub; Tested TWICE for HIV a while back at 1 month with the DUO and again at 3 months with the Determine Rapid test at a reputable private clinc in London, with a Dr fully registered with the GMC and Healthcare Commission, who's main clinical interest and area of expertise was mens sexual health. Both tests came back as NEGATIVE. Also tested TWICE for STI's which also came back neg.
Anyway, I'm starting to freak out again, a I've noticed, what looks like Geographic Tongue. Goes without saying that i've been under accute anxiety and stress and have been treated with antidepressents about a month ago. I'm also on Amoxicillin for a touch of Bronchitis (always get it at this time of year as I have mild Asthma). BTW the Geo Tongue came up on Monday night I started taking the Amoxicillin last night.
So. Am I just freaking out. Or should I look into this further? I'm married and scared I might have put my wife at risk.
I second your comments; This could be a forum for the WELL worried. We have all come back from the ball of light, and are WELL. I have been dealing with this for 6 months, and can now let it go...however, it is not that easy, and this is why this is such a great format. We can "advise" others about this crazy "illness" and how really difficult it is to contract.
I guess I should know, and am sure there are others like me around. Wanted also to thank MD HHH for his sound advice; he really is the only one out there that subscribes to the 6 week test as being pretty much conclusive. The Body doesn't, which is really the gold standard website out there. My hat's off to him!
Shoulda
I guess I should know, and am sure there are others like me around. Wanted also to thank MD HHH for his sound advice; he really is the only one out there that subscribes to the 6 week test as being pretty much conclusive. The Body doesn't, which is really the gold standard website out there. My hat's off to him!
Shoulda
Thanks for that. I guess we all want to put as much distance between us and our respective HIV scare.
you are very right. it is an experience I don't think one ever really recovers. once you have had that absolute consuming fear of testing, and the first or second really big hiv scare, you are never the same.
You'll get no arguement from me. I've seen my life change so totally in the past 6 months - Friends that I thought were friends no longer there, Moved house, changed my whole outlook on life - everything has changed. That said I'm striving to be a better person now. But sometimes i still miss what I've lost.
Reading through the comments has made me realize how great a forum like this is. People in the same boat talking to people who have been there, providing emotional support. One thing I realized even as I was going through my own time of trouble was just how much of an emotional component was involved in all of this.
Rob, man, you went through a bad time, a really bad time. Glad to see you here (well, mildly glad, sorry you went through the stuff that got you here). You're getting counseling, and you are on the road to recovery. Seems to me it's just a matter of time. We all want to feel better right away, it's in our nature. But, sadly, doesn't work that way. It takes time. But, given enough of it, this too shall pass.
Good luck to you, Rob.
xhost
I think we all have been mentally/emotionally scarred for rest of our lives. Its going to take a while before things come back to normalcy. Even I have been having lumpy throat for last 1 month or so. It feels somewhat difficult to swallow. However, it doesn't exactly hurt. Also, a couple of times saw white spots behind uvula, tried to scrape them probably made the feeling in the throat worse. Also, doesn't help when I try to locate stuff in my mouth 10 times a day infront of the mirror. Prbably, just by stretching out the nerves in the neck and tongue that many number of times, causes uneasiness in the throat. Hopefully, we all can get over this life altering experience....
Well apart fromt he manky tonuge I don't have any other symptoms. I keep telling myself that I'm good. But like you say the road to recovery is long.........
your not alone. I tested neg at 4, 6, 10 weeks. My doc, plus HHH have both said move on so I am. I still have mild lumpy throat, popping joings and some light acne but I keep reminding myself that if I do have anything it's not HIV. I guess you just have to keep telling yourself that till you believe it.
I know how you feel and i'm glad you've gone to counseling. While I was in college, I was the victim of a sexual assault. That night in the ER, I had a rapid HIV test which was negative and I continued to get tested every few months for the next year....because I was so paranoid about it. Every little symptom i had...the sniffles, a stomach ache, etc...I would think in the back of my mind " do i have HIV?" Luckily, I don't have HIV...but sometimes living with the trauma of what happened can seem worse....sometimes. so, i know how you feel. the road to healing is long, but it happens. Sounds like you're on your way and you have a good support system.
Cheers. It's one thing knowing, but another beliveing. Helps to have your peers re-enforce what is already the truth. Yes it was BTW. I've had councelling and it worked and we've moved away from London now anyway. So it's getting better. I probably just had a panic attack - Plus coming down with bronchitis hasn't helped - all the things under normal circumtances that would not have even registered on the radar, but now notice everything!
Your 3 month test absolutely proves your geographic tongue has nothing to do w/H.I.V. because your negative 100%, no need to test again. Obviously, your assault has left you w/some anxiety and guilt. I'm wondering if it was a man that assaulted you? I can totally understand why you have a hard time letting this go.(The guilt is normal but you should NOT be blaming yourself for any of it.) You may not want to hear this, but I think it's essential you try some therapy. You can only benefit from it and be able to put this tragic inciedent behind you. Good luck!
I know I'm neg, deep down i know. It's just I'm now a little jumopy and all the old confidence and swagger have gone. Just paranoid i guess - that's why these forums have helped.
As for telling my wife - initally i wasn't going to - but i did after about a month. We're actually closer than ever.
Thanks for the kind comments socgirl!
As for telling my wife - initally i wasn't going to - but i did after about a month. We're actually closer than ever.
Thanks for the kind comments socgirl!
if you've tested negative, then you're negative.....don't freak out about it. Your symptoms that you described could be a number of things. I also understand that you love your wife and don't want to put her at risk. does she know that you were assaulted? If not...you should tell her. If so, then i'm sure she can be supportive and understanding through this difficult time.
Obviously you out a lot of thought into your comments! And for the record i didn't cheat on my wife. I was assualted.
So, I do fell guilt, but not int he way you imagine.
So, I do fell guilt, but not int he way you imagine.
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