Last night my heart kept going from beating very, very weakly to suddenly pounding with extreme force. Now the left side of my chest is so horribly sore. When I touch it it hurts so badly I almost scream. The soreness is specifically concentrated in the upper-left quadrant of my left pectoral, radiating into the armpit and down my left arm.
At one point when I breathed hard last night there was a sudden, unexpected RIPPING sensation in my heart. My left shoulderblade was also in pain last night, which has subsided somewhat today. I went to a cardiologist a few months ago and had a 24-hour EKG. I also went to the ER three weeks ago and had another few-minute EKG.
I went to the ER a second time last week and had a chest X-ray. No problems found. For weeks I have been too terrified of not waking up to go to sleep for more than a handful of hours at a time. My chest just hurts so bad and it can't be exercise soreness because there is NO pain in the other side of my chest and I also barely exercise anymore because I am too afraid of having a heart attack.
Nobody takes me seriously, dismissing it all as "anxiety," and I want to kill those smug jerks for their mindless dismissals.
It is Saturday and I feel like my mind is about to fracture at the thought of waiting a minimum of 36 more hours JUST to arrange another appointment, and then probably days more after that just to see someone. I want to be in the hospital so badly because if I die in the hospital they can rescucitate me but I can't quite bring myself to hit the ER a THIRD time.
My heart is constantly alternating between pounding so hard against my chest for a few hours and then beating so weakly I can't even feel it for a few hours after that. Especially as I'm falling asleep I feel it pound so very very hard. I'm eighteen and I don't want to die!!! I used to exercise so much but this past month I have barely even MOVED for the terror of dying and I'm getting fat and flabby and disgusting as a result.
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