Just some thoughts!

[kim8400]

I remember when I got my first 'flutter' or pvc. I was 12 years old and was playing outside my aunt's house, when my heart did a little pitter patter. It took my breath away, but I wasn't scared. I didn't know anything about the heart or its rhythm, I just knew that it felt funny, but that was it. I would get these flutters on and off about 2 or 3 times a year, I told my mom, but she just brushed it off. I hardly gave them a second thought until they happened, I never anticipated them coming, and I didn't lose sleep over them. Over the years they have slowly but surely increased and now I get them in runs: the ones you think are gonna kill you, yeah, thats them. They have taken over my life, my personality, my future. I feel hopeless some days and hopeful on others. I hope that whoever reads this can get some insight into how terrifying it is to live your life like this. I don't go to amusement parks anymore, I'm not fun anymore, I'm only 23 and all my friends are partying it up, while I sit and watch everybody else get drunk, not daring to myself b/c I know that tomorrow would be hell if I did. I hope someday that the medical community would KNOW what the solution to this is, so that others that come after we are gone may never have to know what this is like!! Thank you all for reading my thoughts!!

[dolfnlvr]

YOU ARE NORMAL!!!!  We are all normal.  These thumps and bumps are NOT going to kill us.  You know what I love?  The original post described what it was like at the age of 12...before we knew anything about the heart and we just thought...hmm that was goofy.  Then turned on our heals and ran in the other direction to play with our friends on the playground.

Now, we know too much.  The media has inundated us with heart health information.  We know that cardiac disease is a leading killer and every little thump and bump is sure to be the deadly one.  

You know what?  Up until 50 years ago, people all over the place had these things and just kept right on going.  They were so innocent in their understanding that they just went on with life. But, we are so well educated now that it scares us to no end.  And what does that do?  It makes them worse.  Gee that's just great!!!!

I ride roller coasters (just enjoyed the 90 degree drop of the Griffon at Busch Gardens two weeks ago), I drink moderately when I want, and I refuse to let these things ruin my life.  I guess I just got mad.  But do you know what gave me the biggest push to get that way???  This forum.  

We are strong, we are healthy, and we are NORMAL.  And..........we have EACH OTHER!!!!!!!

And that...................is SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

[RNRita]

My first time was on a bus when I was 19 on the way to picking up my daughter from day care.  It wasn't just one PVC either.  It was a few of the thumping kind.  I immediately put my head between my legs and was scared to death!  I KNEW it was my heart but didn't have any idea what was going on.  I picked up my little girl and went to the hospital where they proceeded to put me on a tranquilizer.  I thought that was the "medicine' for it.  How funny.  Anyway, it led up to what I am today.  I've been through the mill with these, but always see someone that had it worse.  I am so grateful for this forum.  Had I had it when I was young, I might feel better today.  Unfortunately, with no recourse but doctors telling me I had a "touchy ticker." I grew up scared half out of my mind.  I still wonder what my life would be like if I were normal.  Would I travel?  Would I have become a doctor instead of a nurse?  Would I have made better choices instead of some made in desperation?  I don't know.  This is who I am and I have this forum.  Thank God, finally!

[mabebesc]

You are absolutely right. You are healthy and other than a heart that likes to hiccup every now and then, you're just fine. Enjoy your beautiful son and hang in there and know we're here for you any time you need us!
Betty

[kim8400]

Thank you for understanding. Thats what I like so much about getting on this forum. We ALL  understand what this is like, I sometimes think 'why me?' but then I think of all the people in the world who have it much worse, and it makes me feel blessed that I am healthy (other than the messed up ticker) and my son is healthy. I know I have it a lot better than some others.

kim

[mabebesc]

Hi Kim,

I can hear about upset you are over this and I know how it feels to have wierdness going on with your heart.  I was 16 when I started to deal with my problem.  Have you made an appt with a cardiologist yet?  I think that would be a good first step.  There is help available to you.  Explain to the Dr. all that is going on. I bet he will calm you and reassure you that what you have is  not to going to hurt you. I ended up going to the cardilogist for the first time when I was 22. Some of us just have hearts that  like to remind us that they are ticking away!  You are definitely not alone. You've come to the right place because all of us are dealing or have dealt with heart issues so we really understand how you feel.
Betty