you can do more than you think

[greendave]

So many of us are so afraid of our hearts and live restricted lives. I've had this for 21 years and started fighting back 4 years ago. Yesterday I did 4 Mountains in deep snow, high winds and very limited visibility. There were very few 'normal' people up there and so only myself to rely on.
I've posted this to perhaps make a few people think - OK you've got SVT's and or PVC's but your heart will still power you far more than you might believe
check out the photos from Saturday on my profile and have a think!
dave

[banglamom]

Through it all, my heart has been broken but not really my spirit.  I have walked with the Lord for a long time.  To live is Christ and to die is gain.  That has been what helps me more than any of my patients to be sure is that dying is not necessarily a bad outcome.  Just trying to LIVE with it is the harder part.  In the meantime, I was able to have 2 children and I feel compelled to do the best I can for them.  I don't want my heart problems to rob them of a mom who chases and swings and jumps rope...  and somehow I have to teach them not to be too fearful.  Thanks for the vote of confidence.

[greendave]

Sorry to hear you are in high stress and scared - the breathing and the visualisation are very useful and there is so much more. I am thinking of starting a relaxation, visualisation. confidence building - lets get rid of fear post where we all over a week pratice techniques, post responses and then see how our hearts are reacting and how our quality of lives are improving. then we move on until the fear is gone? What do you think?
Is there any external problem that is causing this stress other than your heart?
dave

[SassyLassie]

I just read your post to dbranden, I am going to practice what you told him/her to do. I am in high stress right now, and heart feeling weird, etc. I am not doing too well and am very scared, but, when I read your post, I could feel myself relaxing already, I am even in a public library as I am out of town but, wanted to see how my frieds at MedHelp were, what I am reading is very comforting, thanks for your post.

Hugs
Susie

[greendave]

I love your spirit but feel humble at what you've gone through - I just get SVT and PVC's but most of the time if i live by rules I can avoid them - most of the time!!
dave

[banglamom]

You speak to a wider audience than you know when you challenge and encourage on this topic.  I have felt like I was in uncontrolled flatspin for the last 2 years.  I have been struggling with heart problems for 15 years.  For many of those years, I did not let it limit me.  I rarely took my medicine if I felt good enough.  I thumbed my nose at what I "should" do.  As it changed gradually, I just shrugged my shoulders and moved on.  When the conduction was going awry, I would adjust.  As the leaky valves continued, I adjusted.  The EF changed slowly at first... ok.   When it reached the point of 40% EF, all valves leaking, and conduction completely random... I felt like I was on a LEDGE.  I had been falling for years, but any further could no longer be ignored.  Thanks for the encouragement.  Maybe I could even be a bit bolder- consider it a wider ledge at least.

[greendave]

I am thinking of you now and I know what those tears feel like.Deep inside we all have hopes and dreams which are not fulfilled for many reasons but when something strikes a chord within our hearts we cry because deep inside we know that we are not truly living as we were meant to. So use those tears of sadness and replace them, in time, with tears of joy!
the fear is the first thing that has to go on your journey to that life that you want so much to live. the fear of itself will and does produce many symptoms which are very very real so it has to go.
So first lets start to get rid of this barrier to a better life. Sit very comfortably in a relaxed open posture and place your hand on your abdomen so that when you breathe you can feel it rising and falling nice and slowly. Dispel all thoughts and just feel this gentle rhythmn of life - your life. Then I want you to imagine a beautiful bright light and feel its heat on your toes. concentrate on the tips of your toes and feel the warmth of this beautiful light as it penetrtes your skin and you start to relax more and more. let this light flow gently and slowly over your whole body until you feel so warm safe and relaxed. Nobody wants anything from you , you have nothing to fear you are alone in this wonderful light warn relaxed and happy.
Now i want you to visualise yourself enjoying a walk outdoors, feel the wind in your hair, smell the wonderful smells of nature but know that you're perfectly safe , perfectly relaxed and you're happier than you have been for years. Really feel that you are there and then gradually come back to your chair in your room and just stay there until toy feel ready to move.
I want you to do this for a week at least and then we will go on to stage two. Do not rush this as it is very important - one step ata a tome will strat your journey and together we will get travel farther than you can imagine.
Love
dave

[dbranden]

I want to thank you for posting this--it brought tears to my eyes. Despite reassurances from my EP that I am ok and just have a "funky" rhythm frequently, over the past 5 years or so I have let my heart issues limit my life so much. Last year I bought a bicycle and was determined to start riding it, but every time I did, I would end up in bigeminy after about 2 minutes and would give up, feeling completely dejected. I see people outside walking in the beautiful autumn weather and I want to do that, too, but I'm afraid of what my heart will do. Isn't that stupid? I just can't get up the nerve to do things that I'd like to do for fear of my heart. How do you power through it? I get so afraid when the palps come that I stop whatever I am doing. I want to push past this mental block I have about my heart. Your post about the mountains has really inspired me. Thank you so much.

[upbeat633]

Zip-lining is attaching yourself to a harness, then attaching that harness to a cable, and trusting the harness and cable to hold you, so that when you step off a platform 100 or  200 feet above ground, or run as fast as you can off a cliff's edge, you can go sailing across some expanse to the other side where the cable is attached. Exhilarating. I got to see a lot of nature from a position I am not normally in....above it all.

I knew it would raise my heart beat, and maybe even my pvcs for that day, but it's been a roller coaster of pvcs ever since, and I didn't expect that. Still I'm glad for having done it, I was just at a pity party for too long lamenting over bigeminy again.

Lagoya, I loved that you called the dog groomer's a "parlour", it really is, I never thought of it that way. But for only 35 dollars she gets shampooed, rinsed, dried and fluffed, her hair cut (she's a border collie cross and gets an entire shave like a lab), she gets a spray of mink oil to keep her coat shiny, and she gets her nails trimmed. All in less than one hour with no clean up for me! I think it's money well spent every time I walk out the parlour doors. (about every 2 months or so). Hope you are not in the dog house too often.

Thanks guys, visiting always makes me feel better even if the pvcs have returned.  

[SassyLassie]

Wow, greendave, the way you describe the mountains and nature, I was there, sounds lovely. I, too, would much rather be outside then in when exercising. I live in such beautiful country, God's country, and when I go to the mountains, or lakes or streams, I can feel the stress lift, it is awesome, there is nothing like nature. I think the Lord made such beauty for all of us to enjoy and to de-stress ourselves.

Public buildings are the pits for PVC's, I think it is the weird smells, lighting, and maybe all the people around, I do not know, all I know is I would rather be with nature or anywhere but those places.

I am enjoying the posts on this thread, they are uplifting and helpful at the same time.

Blessings to all
Susie

[lagoya]

dave
up those mountains sounds like pure freedom and magic

[lagoya]

lol u are so posh taking the dog to the parlour ,when i come back from my walks there is no parlour would wash them and it is either i do it or i am in the dog house ,,when it is dry it is not as bad ,but springers spaniels will get into anything ,gald to see you are feeling somebit better ,

i'm curious as to what zip-lining is as well

[greendave]

Hi Rita
I hate exercising too which is why I don't do it. Along with the outdoors I kicked off with Yoga and meditation which was and is great. Also i took two hypnotherapy courses over a couple of years and founf that doing my own tapes with postive post hypnotic suggestions of realaxation etc worked a treat.
I havd wondered if i should kick of a post about my hypnotherapy experiences some time and I'm still mad keen on the power of crystals so i will be back with that again one day.
dave

[greendave]

Sorry to hear of your recent problems- whats zip- lining?
dave

[greendave]

I think the key is to get out like Lagoya does and forget about the stress of gymns and exercise equipment. Take  a friend with you and just amble along - there is no pressure, no target - some days good some days bad but listen to your body. I am not advocating forcing anything - it took me 4 whole years!
I had  a very nasty experience like you with meds slowing my heart down so slow i did not dare even move and the doctor was rushed out and foud that they had got the dose wrong by a fctor of 10  - I stopped all meds from that day apart from anti biotics when i had my teeth problems.
I am very sensitive to what goes into my body and how I live and if I break my rules i pay the price bit if I behave and keep to the mountains I have energy and a high quality of life.With me it is balck and white there is no inbetween my body won't let me.

[greendave]

When I started I was full of fear and would leave my car and not go too far away - I was obsessed with my pulse and heart rhymns and quite panicky.  the problem at first is that a combination of lack of fitness and anxiety guarantee problems and the first trick is to go slow and look around - concentrate on the beauty all around and try and forget about yourself. I would then repeat in my mind over and over - I AM WHOLE, PERFECT, STRONG POWERFUL LOVING HARMONIOUS AND HAPPY - got it out of a book somewhere.
One day I ventured up a smal  hill in the English Peak district and lay down among the sculptured rocks on some lovely soft moor grass and lay on my back looking into the deep blue sky with just the sound of the wind and the birds flying high above. That day i fell in love with the hills , the beauty and the solitude, and started to find magical places.
i found a beautiful little waterfall which fell into a pool and was very very magical - in the rocks around it was a golden glint and I found some lovely sparkly iron pyrite which i took home and kept with me. When I was bad i waould hold this anf think myself back to that magic spot. Also from this small beginning I became interested in crystals which have helped me a lot.
The first real effect was that my breathing changed and it was like I was dronking in a lovely cool drink of pure enegy and i became much more aware of nature.
After a couple of years up on the moors i wa able to hike 20 miles over rough ground and not even have a single ache or pain - I was now ready for the mountains.
If you are interested i wil tell you more of how i ended up in the most extreme winter conditions , alone in the mountains, confident and happy.

[greendave]

I get the same thing in large shops as there is something in the air which makes me feel terrible and i have to get out.
For me the exercise has to be outdoors and preferably somewhere beautiful and wild.

[upbeat633]

I'm so glad I visited today. It's been a little while since last coming here, I was feeling quite blue and couldn't quite pick myself up, or maybe kick my own rear.

I had been doing so well with a little tiny bit of acebutolol, finally a beta-blocker that showed some promise, as resistant as I was to taking anything for pvcs. But I had much fewer pcs.

I decided to try zip-lining, and had an absolute blast, loved it, glad I did it, but I've had tremendous pvcs since, and nothing seems to change them, I even tried more acebutolol but besides weight gain it hasn't changed given me much else. I was bummed.

But greendave and laygoya and sassylassie, you've reminded me that whether I have them or not, I still need to get out and enjoy things. I always knew it, tried to practice that philosophy, thumbed my nose at pvcs often, but something about going back into bigeminy broke my spirit.

So congratulations on your accomplishments, whether it's a mountain or a mall, each of your achievements is another victory over the pvcs.

ps. lagoya I let a groomer do my dog now, I'm still with her to assist, so I still get all the fun out of it, but I don't have to clean up!!

[banglamom]

I too, as a nurse, try to not let the rhythm problems interfere with my professional life.  I hear you about working the "hellacious" days trying your best to ignore it.  

What makes me stop walks, etc.. I have tried not to let it curtail my ability to go and earn a living.  That being said... I have managed to only make 3 appearances in the ER as a pt through all of this.  All at work... all trying to just ignore it be normal like everyone else.

The first time, I was walking through the ER from the parking lot when I got to work, my best friend, who was the house sup, saw me.  Because I was pale and she know of my problem, she checked me and said - you are NOT going to ICU, you are my pt now.  ARGH.  A rate in the 200s is only ok at work if nobody knows about it.

Another time, they had started new meds.  Like many others, I wasn't hospitalized to start them.  My rate (for the first time since myocarditis) got slower and slower.  I told a coworker so someone would know.  Within 30 more minutes of my working, I had passed out in front of everyone.  They checked my HR... I had NO pulse.  I woke up in the ER, with the crash cart open and being used on me.

More recently, working in the ER at a big hospital I am at now,  IK went to go take a break and put my feet up becasue my rhythm had gone totally sideways.  I didn't tell anyone, but someone came and saw me and I couldn't hide the part about being pale and bluish.  They dragged a gurney in to me, pulled me off the floor.  My presssure was in the 60s/30s.

At home, I can try to rest when it goes nuts- or from this conversation, I may try to push it a bit further, but the BIGGEST problem really does not seem to be fear.. but falling on my head.  I DO have a pacemaker after the pulseless incident at it is AWESOME.  I am 80%+ paced.  It has made a bigger difference than anything else yet.

Good luck to you too as you try to work through it.  I have wondered if there comes some point where I have to hang it up and be called disabled, which I don't want to be called broken.  So, I just try to hide when it happens.  

[banglamom]

I wrote this in the other ablation thread that I have been in, but it makes more sense here.  This is a great line of thought for me to hear about.  A lot of fear has sort of taken over over the last couple years.

Great for you... in the gym 5x/week.  I essentially stopped mostly everything a year and half ago when ANYTHING I did was a trigger for me to go out of rhythm- mostly to a rate in the 200s.  I hate that I feel fat, out of shape, and weaker than I ever have.  In the meantime, it seems to take even less to trigger things.  Sometimes I think, oh well, just LET it happen and try to do something, but when it does happen, I back off and try to get it to stop.  A couple times of late, it has been SO stupid.  My Mom was driving and went on a bumpy road, then I was having "engine knock".  There was a song on the radio I liked, so I turned the volume WAY up and then... out of rhythm.  I should just go on  walks 5x a week like you and try to roll with it.  That is a brave idea... I like it.

Kudos to everybody who is determining to just "power through".  I guess is hasn't killed anybody.  Do you just keep running when your rate hits 190-200?  There is not ill effect?  Ever see those partly hysterical, partly horribly true sayings on despair.com.  I think it was the definition of perseverance- That which does not kill you.... postpones the inevitable.  I shall try to be less afraid from the encouragement and example here.  

Blessings to all!

[Skippi]

oh, I wanted to ask you this before... how do you do it? climbing mountains with your pvc's? so you climb, do you feel them while you are climbing, or only afterwards, when you relax? does your heart start racing or is very fast after climbing? or do you take beta blockers before you go mountaineering?

[lagoya]

yeah strong smell's like paint can set off palps in some or those who are prone in the first place ,i get that too in the shops sometimes esp if they start at all out of the blue ,i am then over powered by what if's as i call them ,but like u i just push through ,i dont try on any shirts though lol then i would be in real trouble

have a great day if u read this

[SassyLassie]

He He about washing the dogs, but, I bet that gives you a work out too, especially if they are anything like the one I have. :)

I usually feel pretty good about myself when I force myself to walk during the "flutters" too. The only time I did not was a few weeks back in Seattle when I decided to walk through this huge mall by myself to prove to me I could do it. Well, I started my "journey" and wham-my, I noticed those little blips starting. I kept walking however, and I tried to distract myself by going into some of my favorite stores, still, fluttering off and on though, so, I tried to try on some cute skirts as I have lost weight and wanted to see what I could wear, well, flutters still there, gee. I kept up my walk and forced myself to walk the entire mall, all two stories, but by the time I got back to the entrance, I was close to being a basket case. However, l did not have anymore that day of any significance, and in fact, the entire rest of the stay, they were gone. I can only say they were due to the new carpets throughout and new paint, etc, plus, I had just had a carotid scan and I was apprehensive about the results.

I am pleased to say that this last week, I have not had many, and I feel the extra magnesium is helping as well as bottled water, also, I give lots of glory to our Lord, He is for sure rooting for me too. By the way, the carotid test came back great, NO PLAQUE anywhere, YEAH!!

Have a lovely week
Love ya all
Susie

[greendave]

Great comments - and the confidence boost is very real. I think that exercise should be outdoors so that it is a total experience of yourself and nature. Not too keen on being a hamster on a treadmill chasing some artifical target on a digital display.
I am so grateful to all of you who take the trouble and time to share your wisdom with us all. I have picked up so much from you and am using the info to make my life better. But I feel there is a lot more to come and I know quite a few of you do too.
thanks
dave

[lagoya]

i agree with the above it took me a while to get back into exercise etc ,but now i swim 4 days a week and walk or should i say let the dogs walk me a few miles everyday ,nothing fast paced just nice country walking ,i push through it ,flip-flops and all ,and i think it helps massive in all ways ,i think our heart like's to run ,feel emotion ,throw a few tantrums and get excited ,so i fiqure i might as well do something to feed it if that makes sence? and u know when i come back from a long walk or other and feel ok it feels good inside like a great big boost ,and then im told to wash the dogs ,hmmmmm
climbing mountains sounds fun dave i bet it gives u a great confidence boost