Aa
Alone
Hello all. I hope everyone is doing well. I have been having trouble with support w/ my husband. He just doesn't understand how I feel. Is there anyone out there that went thru tx while living with a spouse who talks to you like you are dirt. No sympathy or understanding. geno 3 since 1984. liver biopsy stage 3 grade 2. I was still drinking until recently. I haven't had a drink since Jan 30th. I'm ok with that but my husband is so critical of me and treats me like crap. I feel so alone. Going to church with my Mother in law and 6 yr old son. I'm gonna be 47 May 7th my husband will be 40 June 3rd. I was in NJ when I had my son. We lived in my home I bought on my own. My daughter is 26 in NYC going to school. My husband and his mom talked me into selling my house and moving to Pa. I lost my job Nov 2007 lost my mom Aug 2009. I have been fighting depression/panic attacks for a while. My gen doc has me on effexor and klonopin. plus synthroid for thyroid. I feel good most of the time. But just feel so alone. My husband is so mean. I try to talk to his Mom but of couse she makes excuses for him. He does support me, but throws it in my face. It has only been since last summer that I ran out of unemployment and my 20,000.00 in savings from the sale of my home in NJ. Now I feel traped. Can I do this treatment with a husband who is so critical of me?
Bottom line can I do this? I have app w/ pshyciatrist(whom I have never seen) tomorrow for evalutation and for him to let my doc know if I am ok to start tx. HELP...
Bottom line can I do this? I have app w/ pshyciatrist(whom I have never seen) tomorrow for evalutation and for him to let my doc know if I am ok to start tx. HELP...
howdy! After seeingyour question I look up this manuscript. THE HEAD LINE IS A LITTLE MORE MEDICINAL BUT IT SHOULD BE HELPFUL ( Depression following pegylated interferon-alpha: characteristics and vulnerability ) Go to PubMed.gov Then type in J psychosom Res. 2007 August; 63(2):131-135 or dol:10.1016/j.psychores.2007.05.013. I had avery hard time with my depression the barbs would do the appisde Iam sitll having deprssion and Ihave been off tx for 10 months. In depression you may be homosidle ie rage ,then go to feeling Icant hang . So glad you are getting a psych doc.If I could have done the psych meds first it would have made a big difficent. GO GIRL YOU CAN DO IT !!!!!
Thanks ladies! :-) I do think he's afraid and doesn't know what to do for me. It was also hard on him when I was pregnant. Like I posted previouusly I have a 26 yr old daughter from a previous marrage that didn't last because her father was an a**. We were young. I raised her on my own since 1986. Then in 2001 I met Greg my husband. He is 7 yrs younger than me and never had children. We got engaged 2003 and I got pregnant New Years! Thought I couldn't get prego at 39 wrong turned 40 at 5 mnths pregnant. Was tough baby breech then not. I was so miserable, but he stuck it out with me. I have made up my mind to try to get as much support set up before tx. I love this forum!
Sounds like your gettting support and on the right path. Let the drinking go "a few with friends" you might be surprised what you find out about yourself without those few with friends, its time to move on, if you want your husband to be there for you, you must be there for yourself.
This is good news! I hope that your hubby's experience at the appointment will enlighten him. Who knows, maybe his reactions to you as of late are born from his own fears about anything happening to you? I know with my partner, it is hard for him to see me in pain when the meds make my bones hurt or when I was having such a hard time breathing. I try to make sure that I give him space to talk about what it's like for him to live with someone going through this and having to pick up so much slack because I don't have energy to do all I used to do.
Hang in there. You're doing all the right things near as I can tell.
June
Hang in there. You're doing all the right things near as I can tell.
June
Hi there - I just read your note. This is *fantastic*. I'm so thrilled for you. Your psychiatrist sounds great. And wow that your husband will come with you to an appointment! Now you will both get support through treatment - it can be hard on the families also as it's hard for them to understand this whole treatment thing and where they fit in and what you're really going through and what kind of support is meaningful.
I'm really happy for you and this sounds like a great start. Thanks so much for coming back to update us. Treatment has it's ups and downs for sure ... you're getting prepared to take the ride and take it a day at a time.
All the best to you!
Trish
I'm really happy for you and this sounds like a great start. Thanks so much for coming back to update us. Treatment has it's ups and downs for sure ... you're getting prepared to take the ride and take it a day at a time.
All the best to you!
Trish
p.s. my husband isn't a big drinker. He did not like when I drank because he knew it was bad for my liver.
I went to psychiatrist yesterday and I'm good to go for tx. I will be seeing him regularly. I feel good about it. He said he sees plenty of hep c patients on tx and he thinks I will be fine. He increased my effexor from 75 to 150mg. I had told him I was concerned about depression while on tx. He told me not to worry. So I'm going to try to not get all worked up before tx. And spoke to him about my husband and he recomended my husband come to one of my appts. I told my husband about it and he agreed. I think my hubby has realized how mean he's been. He's been treating me much better. Thank you all again for your comments. I have gotten alot out of your suggestions. By the way regarding drinking, I am fine without drinking. I don't have the urge to drink. It's just that I liked to have a few w/friends. But we all know a few or even one is not good so I'll be drinking seltzer w/lemon &lime!
Billy hit the nail on the head. Stay clean and sober for 6 months. Some doctors require this anyway before they'll write Rx for interferon.
the alcohol thing can be so tough...i would stay dry for 6 months before treatment....get a handle on the anxiety...the end of jan. you stopped drinking??? you need time...your body and mind needs to heal for a little bit...i have to wonder if your husband drinks...alcohol withdrawal can be 7 times worse for someone with hep c then someone without hep c...the anxiety i went through was so bad and lasted for 2 years...most was under control in 9 months....find a doctor that knows how to deal with alcohol withdrawals... i would get help that way first....denial is not just a river in egypt...the husband thing is also a tough one.....something for sure there are lots of folks on forums now a days...and lots of different forums to get help from...i would go to a forum dealing with relationships asap...also a alcohol forum...and this is a great hep c forum.....good luck with everything....billy
I have to agree with many of the other posters. I think a support group would be extremely helpful to you right now. I'm actually a therapist and I've seen very good outcomes from group therapy experiences. Perhaps it can be a support group for people dealing with HCV, or for women who are having domestic issues. Either way, you need healthy support from people who don't have an agenda other than to work together to help one another.
I tell myself that during tx it's not a good idea to make any decisions that would have a big impact on my life as I'm probably not in the right frame of mind to make the best decisions for myself right now. So what I do is "shelf" problems for now (the ones that can be shelved), knowing that I'm not avoiding them, but saving them for another day when I'm more clear in my head. It may even help to actually make a box (decorate it how you want) and put in little notes of what you will work on when you're done with tx.
For now, you NEED to take care of yourself and be good to yourself. If your husband can't be decent to your right now (which is the bare minimum he should be doing), is there any way you can stay with someone else until you're done and hopefully stronger? If not, perhaps you can set ground rules with him? I don't know your relationship and it sounds as though he has a pretty tight hold on you for various pragmatic reasons.
Keep checking in with all of us here as well. This is hard enough to go through, you shouldn't have to have this additional stress!
Take good care,
June
I tell myself that during tx it's not a good idea to make any decisions that would have a big impact on my life as I'm probably not in the right frame of mind to make the best decisions for myself right now. So what I do is "shelf" problems for now (the ones that can be shelved), knowing that I'm not avoiding them, but saving them for another day when I'm more clear in my head. It may even help to actually make a box (decorate it how you want) and put in little notes of what you will work on when you're done with tx.
For now, you NEED to take care of yourself and be good to yourself. If your husband can't be decent to your right now (which is the bare minimum he should be doing), is there any way you can stay with someone else until you're done and hopefully stronger? If not, perhaps you can set ground rules with him? I don't know your relationship and it sounds as though he has a pretty tight hold on you for various pragmatic reasons.
Keep checking in with all of us here as well. This is hard enough to go through, you shouldn't have to have this additional stress!
Take good care,
June
Thats what I wanted to say too, but take care of yourself first, make sure your done with your treatment and then see where you are.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this, please just try to take care of yourself. I hate to say it but your husband is being a bully and you are going to have to find your strength some where else, the support group may be a good thing. Remember this treatment will end and you will be OK. You are doing the right thing for yourself and your child.
Sounds like you managed to take care of yourself before you met your husband so after treatment that is something you can look at. Hopefully your husband will learn something. I hope he comes around but you cant change him, just concentrate on yourself and your son.
Best luck,,,,,hang in and find your strength in each moment. breathe,
Sounds like you managed to take care of yourself before you met your husband so after treatment that is something you can look at. Hopefully your husband will learn something. I hope he comes around but you cant change him, just concentrate on yourself and your son.
Best luck,,,,,hang in and find your strength in each moment. breathe,
hi and best of luck to u i have support but i dont think any one knows the feelings associated wiuth this disease but the people that r going threw it themselves
i was told about this forum and hope it helps me and u of course with our plight i dont know much about it yet but im gonna find out first hand gl to u denigreg i will keep an eye out for u take care
i was told about this forum and hope it helps me and u of course with our plight i dont know much about it yet but im gonna find out first hand gl to u denigreg i will keep an eye out for u take care
Thank you so very much for all your insight I feel so much better! :-) My concern is the drugs side effects of mental issues. Which I already have - depression and panic attacks.
I am being treated and feel pretty good I just worry alot. Thanks again! I did find a hepc group in the area so I plan on getting there! Love and health to all.
I am being treated and feel pretty good I just worry alot. Thanks again! I did find a hepc group in the area so I plan on getting there! Love and health to all.
I feel for you. I was married to somebody just like you describe for 21 years, right down to making me move away from my home and making me sell my car and give up my job. Dealing with that kind of emotional abuse is really hard on you. Your biggest challenge is to not believe the crap he tells you about yourself and to know that he trapped you like this on purpose just so he could do this. His mom will NEVER side with you,
You need a game plan... first off that psychiatrist will probably put you on antidepressants... don't be embarrassed about that. Psychological abuse can really screw up the neurotransmitters in your brain and these drugs help get them back to normal so you can think clearly... Second, try to think of getting through treatment as a way to get back at him... I know it sounds horrible, but it will give you strength. After you finish you can feel much more like your old self and maybe consider the fact that you and your kids can get by fine without him if he doesn't change by then. His financial support does come with a high price to your self esteem, but you just have to keep reminding yourself that he caused your financial situation so he owes you. Of course... don't tell him that. No use giving him more ammo.
Hang in there. Keep coming here and we'll help as much as we can.
Diane
You need a game plan... first off that psychiatrist will probably put you on antidepressants... don't be embarrassed about that. Psychological abuse can really screw up the neurotransmitters in your brain and these drugs help get them back to normal so you can think clearly... Second, try to think of getting through treatment as a way to get back at him... I know it sounds horrible, but it will give you strength. After you finish you can feel much more like your old self and maybe consider the fact that you and your kids can get by fine without him if he doesn't change by then. His financial support does come with a high price to your self esteem, but you just have to keep reminding yourself that he caused your financial situation so he owes you. Of course... don't tell him that. No use giving him more ammo.
Hang in there. Keep coming here and we'll help as much as we can.
Diane
I feel you and I believe your making a good choice in seeing a psychiatrist. Maybe some group therapy will give you a place to vent. It works for me. Just remember you and your son come first. Your health is the number 1 thing you need to worry about. I know it gets hard at times but we just got to keep on going, You are in a forum where we can all help each other. Some family members just don't get it, and how can they if they never went through what we are going through?
You came to the right spot. Someone will always be here for you... Good luck and keep moving forward,
By the way I lived in PA all my life and I like it here :)
Pasquale
You came to the right spot. Someone will always be here for you... Good luck and keep moving forward,
By the way I lived in PA all my life and I like it here :)
Pasquale
I'm not sure if anyone besides fellow heppers know how we feel. The problem is on tx you can look fairly normal, but be an a world of pain. My spouse was supportive but I still don't think she realizes how tough it was psychologically.
I'm sorry about your situation, perhaps you could give him some information about sx. Like this;
http://www.digestivehealthconsultants.org/_media/forms/Hepatitis_C.pdf
Good luck, and folks in the forum will always support you.
I'm sorry about your situation, perhaps you could give him some information about sx. Like this;
http://www.digestivehealthconsultants.org/_media/forms/Hepatitis_C.pdf
Good luck, and folks in the forum will always support you.
Thank you. I have to do this I have no choice. I have a young son. Doc says I need to tx soon, I have been putting it off and now my liver is getting worse. 2002 stage 1 2007 stage 2 now stage 3 and I know what comes next. I love my children so much they mean everything to me. I want to be here for them. Just afraid of loosing my mind on tx. But then again I may be loosing already...
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What you'll also need to determine is if you'll deal with the marriage issues before treatment or after treatment - something else for you to discuss with a pyschiatrist and perhaps a counsellor also. Be aware that treatment drugs can alter your moods and your mindset and tamper with your emotions - part of the reason you're going for a psych evaluation and good your treating doctor is taking that step. You could ask your husband to see a counsellor with you or separately - he doesn't sound like he'd be amenable to it but that's a big leap on my part after reading a little tiny paragraph of information. At least you'll have asked and have had that answered and you'll know what you're dealing with.
That's a big pile to deal with ... and I wish you good luck at sorting it out.
Trish