I may have been sick but I wasn't dead

[jmjm530]

Anyone find themselves like completely excluded from family or business stuff while on treatment?

Recently, I found out about a whole bunch of family stuff going back about 8 months where "they" decided I was best left out of any decision making because I was sick and treating. You know for *my* benefit.  

I wanted to tell them -- hey, I was sick, not dead. Maybe I couldn't do this or that but at least tell me and give me the option. Do you guys think laying all this on me now makes me feel any better? Thankfully, the riba is leaving my system as I used every once of self control I had not to say something that would permanently stick.

I have a feeling this is how the world often treats the sick. By shunning them either consciously or unconsciously. Gosh, I hope I will never do that.

Coincidentally, as my treatment ends, just got a call from what I thought was a close friend -- hey knew him from childhood. Well, he sort of became MIA after about week 12 of my treatment. One day he asked me how I felt and I guess I didn't hold any punches as I described my anemia, nausea, eating disorders, skin problems, etc. LOL. I guess now that he heard through the grapevine I'm back in the saddle, it's OK to be friends again.

Big difference between friends and activity partners and often hard to tell the difference until s*hit hits the fan. From my experience the former are pretty rare.

Well...got that off my chest :)

-- Jim

[jmjm530]

As a related thought...so what do you do with these "friends" and relatives that once were, then weren't, and now want to be again. I know what I want to do LOL but I also don't want to become a recluse which I've gotten pretty close to this past year. Throw it in their face and tell them how you feel -- well, that doesn't work in my dysfunctional family. Forgive and forget? Find some new "friends" who probably would end up doing the same thing? Yup, this must be post treatment. Welcome back to the world.

[bobbyullc]

i just got a call from a friend asking if i would talk to her recently diognosed neighbor. she mentioned she may not want to talk as she is so ashamed of having it? i hear that too often and it is a shame. this is a sickness not a criminal behavior. hey everyone....i got hep c.....so what.
bobby

[mikesimon]

When you spoke about your "friend" or "activity partner" I was reminded of a time when I was so sick and alone at home watching my TV when a black Preacher with a Neru jacket appeared pointing right at me saying: "You can get sick but don't stay sick tooooo long cause people get tired it. When you first go to the hospital you're getting gifts and flowers and visitors all the time but after 6 months or so no one wants to know you anymore - they're tired of you being sick". Man, that Preacher was talking to me. I knew just what he was talking about and I suspect that maybe you do too. As to being cut out of the loop: I think that's okay and really shows that they love you enough to want to protect you. Of course we men have a lot of trouble when we're not fixing all the problems but, believe it or not, the world goes on just fine without us occsionally. You've got a great family and I will bet that the better you feel the more they'll expect from you. I hope so anyway. Stay well Jim. Mike

[can-do-man]

Oh my gosh, you mean you had hep-c? Next thing i'll find out either everyone here has or had this thing. And here i thought this was a hep board. You know like cool, hep and groovy. Well i never. Hope i didn't catch it though the puter. Can chatting that way cause it? I better run a virus scan on my puter, heck it might be infected.

Serious though, only a very few at work know. and they have been great. Never covering their mouth and nose when i go by. But do on their own help me with my work. Even though i don't ask. Friends has also been good but just very good friends i've told. Have had a couple family members that act different. Just grew tired of explaining it over and over.

[timedog]

I think I understand your anger (dare I ssay that). But I would venture to say you might try to be a bit understanding of others outside of our world or problems. I would like to believe thatfriends and family do the best they can. I would like to believe that they were and are trying to be helpful not hurtful. Jim I have seen you express a lot of compasion for others here and I have to think that same approach would be helpful with friends and family.

I grew up around a lot of illness and know from experince that it  is a hard think for many healthy people to deal with. I try not to be too judgemental.  It is impossible for someone not going through what we are going through to understand or to know how to help. I go through this with my girlfriend on daily bases. I want her to know what I am feeling with having to tell her. I feel like she should know by now its been 8 weeks.

I don't know you are your family but if they are anything like you come across here I am sure they are thoughtful caring people who only have your best interest at heart.

what ever! from deep deep brain fog

[dyce]

Ha jim, if ya can put up with my brain fog, my best pal hasn't called since I started tx and I know for sure he knows . Kind of disheartening people think the ole dyce is out of it. At work I told a few and they've accepted it and they know the tx is messin with me , because of my performance has slowed down. Nobody knows what the meds do to us but us ! My grandmother didn't even want me around when she 1st found out , now how bad can it get when granny thinks your a leper or sumthin . Oh well life goes on . Thanks for bringin this to the surface , least I know I'm not alone here.