Love after TX cont.

Well, I don't know how  many of you remember my message about the
problems my husband and I are having with intimacy. We both had Hep C within 2 years time and both are now testing "undetectable".  He's been ok for almost 3 years.  I've been off
tx since April this year.  BUT, contrary to medical input, we are afraid we could give it back to the other if one of us relapses.  The only way to do that through sex is if there's blood contact,
such as that coming from abrasions from lack of lubrication. We know all this and considered condoms, but then he decided not to use them and still no progress.  I think the next step is to get
therapy for one or both of us.  This is ridiculous!  We both want
this part of our life back, but we just can't seem to make the first step!  Anyway, that's where that's at as of today.  Anybody had this happen??  What did you do??  I'd appreciate any help I can get.  **Hopiangel**

[quak]

Wow, sex has been a big downner for me and hubby too.  Meaning, my lack of having or feeling good about myself.  Anyway, your situation sounds like a give and take situation.  Hopefully, talking to someone objectively (who understands hep c) can help you deal with this situation.  Since your husband has been through this and you were next it is very hard to deal with the horror of getting this back.  Best to you and keep us updated.  How have you been feeling since off tx.  Pls let us know.  Thanks, Lori

[MichaelT]

AFter all this time, he is cured and if you had a recent, reasonably sensitive test that came back negative after all these months, you are cured too.

This virus is <i>extremely</i> aggressive and would easily be detectable by now if tx ended in April.

Condoms are porous to viruses anyway, so using them isn't much help.

Enjoy intimacy without fear.

[doll face]

You said it. There has to be blood contact. Such as abrasians from lack of lubricant.if that is the major problem than why not go buy a good lubricant? That was a problem for us too during my first round on tx. You both know that the chance of contacting itthrough sex is so slim that you need to relax and get to know each other again. Good luck and lots of lovin.

[jonihs]

My husband and I have been together for over 3 yrs.  I was diagnosed July of 02. My husband tested neg., and my G.I. said if he hasn,t gotten it yet, he never will. We have a very active sex life and he will be tested once a year, but I believe what my original G.I. says. There is no blood involved in our sex and I am post-hysterectomy, so as far as we are concerned, no worries.

[newb]

If you figure out how to overcome this fear, please let us all know. I also suffer from a fear of reinfection, not just from sex and kissing, but from dental work (I don't think dentists use new needles every time, but use old sterilized needles).

I know it's irrational and improbable, but tx is something I never want to do again. Going through such a traumatic and debilitating year has made an impression.....

Good luck to you and your husband.

[chicagogirl]

I have had SEX with my husband for 23 years.  The entire time I had Hep C.  He didn't get it.  I also had 2 kids while infected and they didn't get it either.  I am type 1 with a 1,900,000 viral load beginning treatment.  Was undetectable at 12 weeks.  Last shot is on April 2 of next year; but who is counting?!?

[Galen]

I don't think there is a health care professional left who does not use disposable sharps.

[britgirl]

I know what you mean about dentists; they are supposed to sterilise their equipment but I am a bit worried. I am sure they don't use new equipment (or needles) each time.

[hopiangel]

Thanks to all of you here!  You all never let me down when I need advice or support.  It's so good to be amongst those who truly do understand me because you've all been there.  Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.  We are still far from resolving our problem. We just can't get started again, if you know what I mean.  Take Care all of you and know you are never alone. **Hopiangel**  p.s.  my husband and I got this 30 yrs. ago using IV drugs together.  It never did have anything to do with sex but the fear is still there.  I just can't go through another round of TX.

[fullofhope]

Hello Hopi...this issue was one of my major concerns when I found out I tested positive.  I was really concerned for my husband and our relationship.  My doctor has since told me that I have had the virus and cleared on my own - or I am testing false positive.  The night we came back from the doctor with my resutls, my husband initiated "relations".  It was very comforting to right back on track.

Sex is a very important part of a relationship - so I understand your concerns.  It must be very frustrating for you both to want IT so bad, but have this overriding fear that stops the process in its tracks.

I think therapy might be a good idea - but if you are going to do it - I think both of you should go...because this issue isn't about one or the other it is about you both dealing with this issue as a couple and overcoming the fears and concerns together.
  
It might help to make sure the therapist is really aware of the facts about hepc - maybe even asking your hep doctor if he could suggest someone.  I was thinking it might be irritating trying to deal with this situation and not have her/him know what the facts are about transmission and what it means to be cleared etc.  I think vagueness (sp) would further complicate things.  I wish you the best Hopi and hope you guys get back on track soon.

[jcribbs]

Sex drive died with my hepatitis treatment.  My husband and I have nearly quit having sex.  Even with the treatment over.

I don't think it ever comes back.