Spousal support

this is musicmike's wife I wanted to know if there's a forum where the spouses could go to ask questions of other spouses and what theyre going through thanks

[Lady E]

Hi Music's wife. Welcome to the Forum.
Right here is the perfect place to ask any questions regarding HCV.  We're all here to help all who need us.
Warm Regards,
-E

[NYgirl]

Hi Wife.

I don't know if there is but I wanted to let you know...this disease is a REAL piece of work, the treatment is doable (meaning we aren't ALWAYS dying but sometimes let me tell you...you CANT function so it's VERY difficult for a spouse to know what to expect day to day) and it can cause us to be MEAN AND NASTY (a side effect in the beginning of the ribavirin gives us a very quick sharp ill temper - know if he yells at you for breathing too loud it's NOT you!!!) and extremely lethargic and depressed...............

In other words...you are in for SOME FUN!

I am on week 69 tonight out of 72. The best thing I did was share what the doc and others in here said to my family. When I'd freak OUT because of the smallest stupid thing...they would laugh and go oh yeah - Riba Rage!  

We talked about that sort of stuff and it helped a lot.

I just want you to know Mike is going through a lot emotionally and physically but we all know you are too!

I hope that you find a good place to be able to talk.

You can always talk to us if you need.

Believe me...this too shall PASS and shortly it will be behind you. Hang in there!

Debby

[sunspot]

At the top of the home page on thid forun is a link titled new hepatitus (hepatitis) community. Click on that link and it will take you to the forum for all the hep people to talk about anything you want. Only thing is, it's not just for spouses, so the guys might chime in.

[Maui lover]

Hi Mike's wife...

My husband is currently on week 22/24 of treatment.  I have posted many questions in this forum and the responses have always been wonderful.  This is a great place to get info, advice, and support.  Please don't hesitate to post any questions or concerns.  There is almost always someone who can help out.  You are definitely in the right place!

[FlGuy]

First, the term 'spousal support' are a couple of words that make me nervous.  There are all types of folks that come by here; people who are treating, spouses and partners, folks who are diagnosed and thinking, people who want to understand more. Come by anytime. A good place to read more about many aspects of the disease is at http://janis7hepc.com/.  Sometimes we hear people suggests to their significant other to come by MedHelp to get an idea what a hcv patient goes through.  Support's important not only to the patient but to the family.  HCV, and especially its treatment, can impact the whole household.  Welcome!

[hippygem]

Hi there, just wanted to say that the treatment does have quite an impact on relationships and/or children that are living in the household. I took both my sons to counselling before i started treatment to give them an idea of what to expect, and give them ideas on how to be supportive.
It is hard for you, I know, but dont let the treatment ruin your marriage, hang in there and see it to the end with him, and remember he will be back to his old self soon.
Sometimes a break helps, I went and stayed with my brother for about 3 weeks.
You can ask any questions in here, Im sure we could help you.

Linda

[rochammer]

hi musicmike's wife  caregivers need support too. My wife has put up with me for 2 rounds of tx. I don

[Htownwife]

Hello!
My husband is also a treater. We're (and I do mean WE'RE) on week 34 of 48! I'd be happy to talk to you anytime!
Yes, this is a difficult place to be, but you'll get a lot of answers and support from the people here. At times it can be really scary, but you'll always find people who have or are going through what you and your husband are going through. It's been like a roller coaster for us. Right now things are going fine, but last week we had a REALLY tough time. My husband had the flu on top of his treatment, and at one time his temp was over 103 (scary!) But we made it through and right now he's feeling very good! So feel free to come aboard at any time and let us know how things are going!
Good Luck!

[motheroffour]

I'm another spouse and I read daily and post sometimes.  When your spouse is putting these chemicals into their body it's definitely a family affair.  My H is week 17/48 and he says he's feeling better than he has in years, but I see and hear the nausea in the morning and when he's hurting or has a headache I just feel his pain.  Little lifestyle changes, like not popping a bottle of champaign together at midnight on New Year's are really poignant, too.  Sparlkling apple cider for us this year. But, better that than popping a bottle of champaign all by myself if you get my drift. Plus as my H tells the doc - "talk to my wife, she's in charge of me!  Ha, like that's true!

[Cindy10]

"First, the term 'spousal support' are a couple of words that make me nervous."

I just got it, must be brain fog - That was cute!

[missers]

I am also a wife and as many of the others have said, THIS is a great forum for spouses.  Though I mostly lurked here, I found it to be a great place to find answers to questions I didn't even know I needed to ask.  

That being said, sometimes I just wanted to talk to someone who would understand what I was going through.  My experience with this is, was and always will be different from what my husband experienced and I wanted to talk to someone who was the spouse/support person and could see things from my side.  I usually ended up talking with my husband about these things anyway and found that it helped us both stay on course through this long journey.

So, if you are looking for a place to go for support where your husband doesn't read or hear your questions/fears/frustrations, then check with your local hospital to see if they have a support group.  Or ask your husband's doctor if he/she is aware of any groups.

But truly, THIS site is very helpful and I found most posters to be very understanding to any question posted regardless of their HCV status.

[Jen_1980]

Hi all--I was searching support for spouses of HCV patients and found this forum.  Everything I've read below helps and makes me feel a little less alone.  I'm looking for any info. on support for someone like myself.  My boyfriend who I live with started pegylated interferon 2 weeks ago.  This past Friday was his second shot.  He's on 48 months (Genotype 1) and considering the side effects already manifested, I'm not sure how we'll get through the next year.  He left his job and stays at home with his 3 y.o. son all day.  He's very depressed, fatigued, and is starting to become very angry--blowing up at me for little things and accusing me of pushing his buttons.  I'm not sure how to handle it or if I need to tell the doctor.  We have 2 boys under age 5. I'm working fulltime, trying to deal with the financial strain of one income and the emotional toll of everything, and come home to an unpredicable man who is edgy and doesn't feel well.  I'm in this 100 percent and want to be as supportive and loving as possible, but I'm very frustrated and already having a hard time coping.  Any advice would be so greatly appreciated!!!

[Maui lover]

All I can tell you is hang in there.  He's not angry at you, it's just the meds.  My husband was on Tx for 24 weeks (you get to do double that, lucky you!) and it wasn't fun.  He had good days and bad days and worse days.  I remember one night he went balistic because I rearranged the pillows on the couch!  I know this might be tricky, especially with two young children, but try and find some time for yourself.  Go out with a friend, take a walk, or start a journal.  Even if it's only half an hour a day,  try and do something to help you through it.  Also, try and be as positive and loving with your children as possible.  They don't understand what's happening and they need all the love and support they can get right now, as do all of you.  Best of luck to you.

[MannyC]

Not to derail this thread or anything, but I'm kind of worried now. I'm going to be starting treatment soon and after reading this I'm wondering if I'll be yelling and angry all the time :(  I know my wife is very supportive so far and I know she will stick with me through this, but my 5yr old and 12yr old daughter....

I maybe should sit the whole family down and talk about this...as I and the wife thought we should keep it from them.

Anyway you spouses stay strong, were going to need you ........

[Maui lover]

Best of luck to you in your journey through treatment.  One thing I've learned is that everyone responds differently.  My husband had a rough go of it with lots of side effects but it was all worth it because he is now SVR.  My husband wasn't a complete bear the whole time but he definitely had moments.  He's a pretty intense person anyway.  That may have something to do with it.  I can't tell you what to do in regards to telling your kids.  Maybe you could see how it goes the first couple of weeks and if you feel the need to tell them go ahead.  I'm sure you and your wife will handle it appropriately.  Take care and again, best of luck.

[txinaus]

I just finished tx and I have to say - the difference in my mood is amazing - and unfortunately at the time of the riba rage the sufferer may KNOW on a rational level that it is the drugs - but on an emotional level there is no stopping for thought :(
Least now my emotions have caught up with the rational LOL

I have two teenage children and a great husband - the one thing that I appreciate about all of this even more than the possibility of SVR is the new pride, respect and if possible an even deeper love I have for my family now.
They have shown themselves to be outstanding people with incredible strength and I am one of the most fortunate people I know to have them by my side.

Children love their parents and will deal with whatever they need to deal with as long as you are always honest with them. Age doesnt come into it.. You are their world no matter what your mood is.

Explain to them all the time what is happening with you and your moods and apologise when you know you can. It is possible that at times you will hate yourself but always remember that they need and love you and are willing to do what it takes to keep you around. Just as you are doing what it takes to stay there for them.

I took the antidepressant cipramil while on tx and I am sure we are all happier that I did.. I had to double the dose even :P .. so dont be afraid - and take it from the others that have been through it.. the real you does return one day :D