Week 9 - rough week

[hopefulgirl38]

Hello all,

My partner is on week nine of treatment - undectected week 2 genotype 3 -however in the last couple weeks he has become so cranky intolerant and just completely negative.  He is a well educated man who generallly prior to treatment had a great deal of insight.  However, not right now.  He is not depressed/has been seen by the psychiatrist at the liver clinic (we live in canada so its  covered thank god)  It is more complete crankiness and irritablitily.  He is getter harder and harder to live with and incredibly self absorbed.  Dont get me wrong, I compltetly understand he is going through hell,.....its just getting to be too much.  In addition, the liver clinic actually keeps telling him compared to most people he has very little sides.  Any suggestions with how to cope......... 16 weeks to go

[winner727]

i almost got a divorce , the rage & disrespect was ruining my married life .  about half way through tx i became a medical marijuana user .   this i beleive truley helped me with my anger issues & made it much easier to actually  continue all the way to the end .  if you dont live in a state that allows it .   its possible to still get some .  this is only my opinion , and i would not push it on anyone .   time out away from everyone .  music thru headphones , hot baths , yoga , & other types of relaxation techniqes . also work .   me & my wife also had a code word , for when i felt anger coming on .  i would say ,   i feel choudy .       she would leave the area quickly  LOL     good luck , wishing you the best ...

[Diane12855]

Before even starting tx, I found that I was snapping at my kids, and very unable to deal with the slightest irritations and my doctor put me on anti-depressants. They helped tremendously! I believe these are signs of depression that maybe the nurse doesn't know about. I'd push the point with both the nurse and the doctor for both of your sakes. I know I hated myself when I vented on the kids... but couldn't stop it, so he would probably be very grateful for the help with his emotions.

I like what FlGuy says above... and your partner would probably agree. I also think it would be good if he got on here and saw that he isn't the only person having the feelings he is having.

Hang in there, and take care of yourself.

[FlGuy]

A very healthy thing to do on treatment is to go for long walks.  You, not him.  My family found that space was very important to world peace, at least our piece of the world.  Make sure he takes his meds, has the remote, throw in a piece of raw meat and roll in a bottle of water every once in a while.  Otherwise, take the time to get stuff done that you want to do.  Don't worry, he won't get far if you're not around.

[Kristina538]

My hep nurse thought I was reasonably symptom-free, but luckily my hep specialist (who I didn't see so often) validated how I felt, medically and psychologically, and was happy to give me sleeping pills, with the comment 'just do whatever it takes to get through'.

Your husband is trying to stay alive; he will be out of balance, unable to concentrate.  I would cry if I had to walk through others in the kitchen, because it was just too hard.  I had too apologise a lot and say 'I'm sorry, I'm just not up to this right now' - I had to head to the bedroom after the first 5 minutes when we had visitors, and I had to really psych myself up and concentrate hard to manage a supermarket shop.

My partner and I made a kind of deal:  that he would leave me to my own devices,  apologise to the visitors, vet the phone calls, and only assist me when I asked for assistance - which I actually learned how to do (it didn't come easy).

I absolutely verbally annihilated my son, and eventually had to let him know not to ask me to make any rational decisions - it was just too much.  I was at my neurotic worst, and my physical worst - it took all my concentration to get my body and mind working on the most simple of tasks - which were making sure I ate well, got enough sleep, and drank enough water.

I really empathise with you;  my partner has said it was the hardest time he has ever had with anyone and he had to 'bite his tongue' and really stop himself from getting angry with me.  Good luck - it really isn't easy.

[Cory255]

Looks like he is a rapid responder, which is good.  

When you say it's getting to be too much I think that is a sign that his Hep C is starting to affect his loved one's.  He needs all the support he can get, with what he is going through.  

Try to minimize stress as stress weakens the immune system, which is what were trying to boost.  Try changing your schedule around a bit.  Take shorter routes to and from work and school.  Try taking deep breaths, practice yoga, listen to music or try to find something that relaxes you.  Take time out of your day to stretch and exercise.  

Cory.

[jelise]

The rage has definitely been the worst side effect for me.  Luckily, my boyfriend thinks it's funny.  He has never seen me lose my temper in the 13 years we've been together and is still amused by it (in week 39).

I am not amused, so I went to a psychiatrist.  I tried taking xanax (which I usually took too late - like after I was already raging), so now I started taking lithium the last two weeks.  I really think the lithium is helping.  

I've also read of other members taking SSRIs to help with their rage issues.

I hope the psychiatrist finds something to help him (and you) out.  Hang in there.

Jelise

[can-do-man]

Going thru this tx is not a reason to be abusive, sure sometimes things can just pop out of ones mouth without thinking but that person needs to realize this and work to control it.

I found during tx when the urge came i just walked away, went to a room by myself until i got thru it and the people around me knew to just leave me be. Tx is a two way street and can be just as hard on a spouse..........Wishing you both the very best.

cando

[jepperone]

Hopeful

Just give him room to sort things out, by now he does not know who he is much less who he lashes out at not to hurt anyone but he is more or less feeling things that have been buried for a long time. He probably started out with mild sx’s but now the mental mind is taking over because the meds are starting to peak in his system and should level out by week 12 or there abouts. Keep the Love and kindness flowing because it’s not you he is wrestling with but it is him himself.

jep

[portann]

Often people refer to this psychological reaction to the meds as 'riba rage', which you may want to google. (It's probably more caused by the interferon but riba rage has a punchier sound.)

I'll try to find you some old threads that deal with this, some very sombre, some comical. It is a very common concern. Maybe someone can help dig some of them out of the archives. Nygal posted a few scenarios she was involved in that summed this up very colorfully.

I found my main symptom during treatment (aside from fatigue, breathlessness and occasional bone pain) was - overwhelmingly - irritibility. I was one mean dude, which is funny coming from a little lady like myself. My hubby is a pretty big guy but I lost sight of that when I got mad at him for nothing at all. He was totally stumped and in 'duh' mode but we got through it somehow. I shut the bedroom door a lot.

Like your husband, I wasn't depressed during tx, either, but this could change for him as time goes on.

The crucial thing is knowing when to draw the line between venting and abuse and you should not tolerate the latter, in my opinion.  If you have any sense that the irritibility is escalating into something more serious, then get help from his doctor.

Is there any chance he would join the forum, too? It could provide an outlet for him.
One hard thing about this tx is feeling isolated and not understood.  People who are treating do provide empathy that a devoted partner can't, unless he's been through it himself.

This is a really tough thing for you to get through but as WriteDown says, in the end, it can also bring you closer together, at least after treatment is over.

I'll dig up some old threads later but here's one for starters:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Hepatitis-C/What-is-Riba-Rage/show/96886

[WriteItDown]

My husband too was quite irritable during tx. The best thing for me was to just keep telling myself, "it's the meds."  I tried not to take anything he did or said personally. It was difficult, and there were times when I lost my cool, but this type of thing is completely common on tx, and is not a reflection of your relationship. I also tried to keep reminding myself of how crappy he was feeling, and how irritable that would make anybody.

To help myself, I tried to schedule plenty of time with my friends, and I allowed myself to complain when he wasn't around, just to blow off steam.  Also, sometimes it was better for me just to let him alone.

To tell you the truth, going through this together has brought us even closer together, and I'm very happy that I was able to help him get through this.

I hope things get a bit easier for you soon.  But above all, remember, this will pass and he won't always be acting this way!

[desrt]

Does the psychiatrist from the liver clinic have him on any type of medication?