Aa
relationships on tx
Do any of you find yourselfs sabotoging your personal relationships while on tx? I have to wonder.....because most of my personal relationships seem to be suffering. Just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 yrs. He has been by my side through 39 wks of tx, and now I seem to be pushing him away......
Any experiences out there you can share?
Jean
Any experiences out there you can share?
Jean
The procrit will help, tremendously. It takes a few weeks to really take effect, but you will at least feel more like functioning. Hang in there. I am about to start week 40. 8 more to go.......this has been the hardest year of my life, but very necessary and hopefully successful. Drink lots of water and don't miss any procrit, or any other doses, if at all possible. That is the key. Make your drs. give you rescue drugs. I had to, and it is paying off.
Good luck
Good luck
Hi, my relationship with people have absolutly taken a turn for the worse. I'm on my 5th week of treatment and just started procrit -- i can't take 2 steps without having to sit down. I work for one of my dearest friends and now she is not calling anymore because I've not been able to work full time. I can't wait to get my life back -- it's been hell.
It is normal. We let my step dau, her hubby, & 2 kids move in. A week later I was diagnosed with porphyria (PCT) because of the hep c, ugly giant blisters on my hands. Of course the hep diagnosis came next. I had to get blood removals every 2 weeks and I was sick to begin with. It was a mess.
She kept telling her dad that I was doing drugs all day NOT. They did not pay a dime towards our house bills and bought very little of anything else. They lasted about a month after I started TXing. All in all it lasted about 6 months before I told her if she did not want to help and do things my she could leave. Within a week they were gone. That was a year and a half ago.
Good Luck. It is hard to understand unless you have done the treatment. You will find your old self.
Denise
She kept telling her dad that I was doing drugs all day NOT. They did not pay a dime towards our house bills and bought very little of anything else. They lasted about a month after I started TXing. All in all it lasted about 6 months before I told her if she did not want to help and do things my she could leave. Within a week they were gone. That was a year and a half ago.
Good Luck. It is hard to understand unless you have done the treatment. You will find your old self.
Denise
I think part of the problem with family and friends is they really do not understand the complications that come with these drugs. We explain to them what may happen during treatment about the flu like symptoms, headaches , falling hgb , rbc, wbc and all the other things that pop up unexpectedly. I know they could not possibly understand , as I spent countless hours educating my self about tx. I thought I was prepared and had a grasp of what tx would be like. I was very wrong. It wasn't until my hgb and rbc fell low and I couldn't stay awake, or I was lying in bed shivering one moment and fever the next with muscle cramps shooting through my body, the rash and the itchiness and the eye pain. When those things happened I knew this was way more serious, than I had expected. Outsiders truly don't understand until they have been through it.
To: newleaf
You must be self-absorbed to give treatment a full shot. If you didn't remain self-absorbed, you could never keep up with all the pills and all the little rules for what you can or must do and what you can't.
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How true. Yes, it is all about me now--this is life vs death. We do what we have to to get through this.
To: newleaf
You must be self-absorbed to give treatment a full shot. If you didn't remain self-absorbed, you could never keep up with all the pills and all the little rules for what you can or must do and what you can't.
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How true. Yes, it is all about me now--this is life vs death. We do what we have to to get through this.
I am absolutely positive what you are feeling is normal for tx standards! And even tho my husband is a saint there were moments when I just wanted to scratch his eyes out, despite the fact he hadn't done anything, and other moments that I actually recoiled from his touch because I felt so awful... I am pleased to say that I don't feel like that today, and it is getting easier for me to be in close physical proximity with him.
And you know, it took some of my friends and colleagues about 46 weeks to actually grasp what I was doing and they still don't understand. I just let go of that expectation and trust that things will be better on the other side...
They will be..
And you know, it took some of my friends and colleagues about 46 weeks to actually grasp what I was doing and they still don't understand. I just let go of that expectation and trust that things will be better on the other side...
They will be..
so right, so right!! I know I love these people, but, they REALLY get on my nerves. I would like to sit out the next 9 weeks with no one around but my dog. She seems to not mind my moodiness, as long as she gets to sit in my lap all day, which she does. Thank God for her.
Tippyclub,
I am the same way. No patience. I want to shout to people "I AM SICK< SO PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK< WOULD YA???????
But then I don't think anyone would, they would just look at me like I am nuts.
and CMcH I am very afraid that I am going to experience the same thing when I am done. I am already getting alot of "only 9 wks to go" You must be feeling alot better.........who are they kidding? I have as much or more poison in my body now than I did months ago!!! I pray for patience with these people, that I know in my heart I love, but I don't feel alot of love for them right now. PLEASE someone tell me this is normal and my feelings will come back when this is over.
Tippyclub,
I am the same way. No patience. I want to shout to people "I AM SICK< SO PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK< WOULD YA???????
But then I don't think anyone would, they would just look at me like I am nuts.
and CMcH I am very afraid that I am going to experience the same thing when I am done. I am already getting alot of "only 9 wks to go" You must be feeling alot better.........who are they kidding? I have as much or more poison in my body now than I did months ago!!! I pray for patience with these people, that I know in my heart I love, but I don't feel alot of love for them right now. PLEASE someone tell me this is normal and my feelings will come back when this is over.
I also shut down during treatment, could hardly bear to be around people and wanted to hang out in my bedroom most of the time. I pretty much gave up any social activities and just didn't want to talk to my friends. Partly because I didn't want to have to explain to them what I was going through and partly because they just irritated the heck out of me!
My husband is a saint, he handled my moods swings and irrational behaviour with grace and never made me feel bad about not being able to do things. I also took ADs to help with all the emotional ups and downs and irritability. I'm 2 days post now and for about 5 secs every so often I see glimpses of my old personality and I look forward to see more and more of that emerging.
I will be slowly reintroducing myself to a social life soon but I intend to take my time about it. The one thing treatment gave me was time to myself which I have always found in short supply.
It's like a butterfly emerging from it's chrysalis....
My husband is a saint, he handled my moods swings and irrational behaviour with grace and never made me feel bad about not being able to do things. I also took ADs to help with all the emotional ups and downs and irritability. I'm 2 days post now and for about 5 secs every so often I see glimpses of my old personality and I look forward to see more and more of that emerging.
I will be slowly reintroducing myself to a social life soon but I intend to take my time about it. The one thing treatment gave me was time to myself which I have always found in short supply.
It's like a butterfly emerging from it's chrysalis....
I completely concur with your last paragraph. We are both on a clinical trial which means pills 5x a day (I'm taking 16 altogether). I have moments of pure panic when I wonder whether I took the pills I was supposed to. I even set an alarm to wake up and take them at night (since I can rarely stay up past 8:30 anymore) and my dearest DH never ever complains about that and has been known to wake me on the nights I forgot to set the alarm.
Before I started treating I had the mindset that this would be my year, that I'd take super good care of myself and devote my energies to clearing etc., etc., etc. Now I realize my serious miscalculation with that thought. What energy?
Before I started treating I had the mindset that this would be my year, that I'd take super good care of myself and devote my energies to clearing etc., etc., etc. Now I realize my serious miscalculation with that thought. What energy?
I hardly spend any money, because I don't travel or go out at all. I have had a $100 gift card to a great resaurant since Dec. and can't drag myself to the restaurant.
I can be a little short with people but mostly they notice how pale and worn I look.
You must be self-absorbed to give treatment a full shot. If you didn't remain self-absorbed, you could never keep up with all the pills and all the little rules for what you can or must do and what you can't.
I can be a little short with people but mostly they notice how pale and worn I look.
You must be self-absorbed to give treatment a full shot. If you didn't remain self-absorbed, you could never keep up with all the pills and all the little rules for what you can or must do and what you can't.
Its the weirdest thing what these drugs do to us. I have no tolerance for being around people at all ( immediate family only ) and at times that's pushing it. I miss my friends terribly but just don't have the desire to be around them....especially when one of them starts complaining how sick she is. I just want to ring her neck--lol ! My husband is at a house warming party without me tonight. No desire to talk unnessarily or be with a group of people, and I know these people well.
Another thing that drives me batty is going grocery shopping. Again its the people thing --way too many. I want to scream in the store " Get out of my way "
I was thinking it could be because we feel so bad we have no patience, no tolerance , or understanding of others. Sometime I get this pathetic feeling of " Its all about me-I'm sick" I know that's not a good way to feel but honestly I do feel that way at times while on treatment.
Another thing that drives me batty is going grocery shopping. Again its the people thing --way too many. I want to scream in the store " Get out of my way "
I was thinking it could be because we feel so bad we have no patience, no tolerance , or understanding of others. Sometime I get this pathetic feeling of " Its all about me-I'm sick" I know that's not a good way to feel but honestly I do feel that way at times while on treatment.
I can only agree with all that had been written here in previous posts.
It is hard to admit, sometimes I noticed and sometimes not, but people noticed that I had been changed during treatement, I became impatient and ..
My son, who did know nothing about the treatement told me once during the tratement that I have been changed and that I behave ugly, that was very very difficult for me to hear that but I know he was so right.
It is very difficult . but today 14 post 48 weeks of Tx, I am UND and feel very good, my family and friends and coleauges love me again (at least I think so), I am again very patient and friendly as I used to be, It worth it.
Good luck and be strong.
Jack
It is hard to admit, sometimes I noticed and sometimes not, but people noticed that I had been changed during treatement, I became impatient and ..
My son, who did know nothing about the treatement told me once during the tratement that I have been changed and that I behave ugly, that was very very difficult for me to hear that but I know he was so right.
It is very difficult . but today 14 post 48 weeks of Tx, I am UND and feel very good, my family and friends and coleauges love me again (at least I think so), I am again very patient and friendly as I used to be, It worth it.
Good luck and be strong.
Jack
I think your experience is common. The treatment makes me very inward and self absorbed. I'm also not self-confident around people because my head is muddled and I make awkward slips. But it's mainly the self absorption that is the problem.
It's tough, isn't it? Even though you know it's temporary, it sure doesn't feel temporary. When your personality changes, you alter one of the ways you define who you are.
I'm close to the end of treatment. I wrote a note to myself the other day that whatever happens, I'm going to be an outward optimistic person from this point forward. I need to be to repair the damage I've done to those closest to me over the past 18 months.
It's tough, isn't it? Even though you know it's temporary, it sure doesn't feel temporary. When your personality changes, you alter one of the ways you define who you are.
I'm close to the end of treatment. I wrote a note to myself the other day that whatever happens, I'm going to be an outward optimistic person from this point forward. I need to be to repair the damage I've done to those closest to me over the past 18 months.
I hibernated for a long while and oddly, my husband seemed to like being in charge and me being a limp ragdoll once he got over being horrified at how hard it is to do all the cooking, pet care and a little housework.
Interferon can cause mood disturbances like depression or anger. I got the anger part and went on antidepressants because mean things would just fall instantly out of my thoughts and onto my tongue. I wanted to be able to keep working and stay married so went with the antidepressants. It was a challenge to find the right one, but a half dose of Lexapro does the trick for me and has kept the meanness at bay very well.
CMcH: I'm in a trial and they put you on SOC for a month to get you up to steady states of the drugs in your blood. If it took a month to saturate you, it will take at least a month to get it all out and let your blood recover. Hang in there.
Interferon can cause mood disturbances like depression or anger. I got the anger part and went on antidepressants because mean things would just fall instantly out of my thoughts and onto my tongue. I wanted to be able to keep working and stay married so went with the antidepressants. It was a challenge to find the right one, but a half dose of Lexapro does the trick for me and has kept the meanness at bay very well.
CMcH: I'm in a trial and they put you on SOC for a month to get you up to steady states of the drugs in your blood. If it took a month to saturate you, it will take at least a month to get it all out and let your blood recover. Hang in there.
The TX has been hard on my family relationships because I can't go out and do as much. I have become very sun sensitive and we were a very outdoor family. I tend to hibernate in my room more because of headaches and fatigue. In a way it has been a good lesson for me to slow down and my family to do more around the house. I used to plan out every weekend with no down time. The meds seem to have made me moodier and depressed so that can't be good for anyone around me.
Now my treatment ended last Monday and the family expects me to be better yesterday and pick up where I left off. There has been some friction with that and I am trying to push myself to get more involved in the family and out of my room.
Now my treatment ended last Monday and the family expects me to be better yesterday and pick up where I left off. There has been some friction with that and I am trying to push myself to get more involved in the family and out of my room.
Maybe I am expecting too much as well.
It's not that I am changing my expectations of these people, its just that my tolerance of issues I had with these people before tx is now at a zero level.
I think that the concensus of everyone around me, except my mother and my dog, is that I am now nuts....
maybe I am
jean
It's not that I am changing my expectations of these people, its just that my tolerance of issues I had with these people before tx is now at a zero level.
I think that the concensus of everyone around me, except my mother and my dog, is that I am now nuts....
maybe I am
jean
Oh, yeah-- "best friend" and "girlfriend" were two different people LOL not that I wasn't friends with girlfriend. To badly paraphrase something I believe Mike Simon once posted that was attributed to a preacher I believe. "If you get sick, try and get well within six weeks because that's about the maximum time most people will put up with your illness".
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