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Concerns with genital hsv 1 grace, petal anyone with personal experienc...
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Concerns with genital hsv 1 grace, petal anyone with personal experience/knowledge

Hello i was recently diagnosed with genital hsv 1 from receiving oral sex. I have some concerns which I would like to be answered as I am reading too much and getting mixed and confusing information.

So i got my bfs cold sore via oral sex. He did not have an active lesion or told me he had hsv 1 to begin with. He tested negative once i told him my diagnoses and left me because he couldnt deal with it. My results came out negative igg and positive igm which my doctor said is a recent infection and i got it from my bf no if ands or buts. I have not spoke to him since.

Since then I have another partner and recently engaged in oral sex with him.
1. How likely am i to pass oral hsv 1 to him even though my sores were on my genitals? I have not had a history or have ever had cold sores on my mouth.
2. Could I have contracted oral hsv 1 at the same time as genital hsv 1?

My current partner is negative for both. He tested and so did I and i am hsv 1 positive which he doesnt see as a big deal but I do :(
3. Is this really not a big deal? I know that oral is more contagious than genital. Im afraid I could have contracted both oral and genital hsv 1. I do not have sores around my mouth nor feel any itching or tingly. I was with my boyfriend for 4 months and kissed on numerous occasions. Could I also have contracted hsv 1? Is this dangerous?

im so scared I might have passed this on to my new partner orally. We have not had genital to genital sex yet because I lied and said I was on my period so we settled for oral to be safe but now Im afraid I wasnt too safe :( Can someone help.
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Avatar_f_tn
Another question: why isnt hsv a part of routine std testing?
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Avatar_n_tn
First, how were you diagnosed with herpes? Only through the igm testing or through a swab?

1. It might happen, but genital hsv1 sheds very infrequently, meaning transmission risks are low in general. Always avoid sexual contact during outbreaks though
2. Yes, but you would most probably have shown symptoms. Chances are you only caught it genitally, it happens.
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Avatar_f_tn
I was swabbed. I had a lesion On the top of my vulva close to where the pubic Hair is. Yes i have not shown any symptoms On my mouth and my GYN said i only caught it orally but idk after reading forums what if i also got it in my mouth and my genitals reacted to it first. I was given.valtrex for 5 days and my sore was gone right after.
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Avatar_n_tn
just as you noticed a sore down there you would most certainly notice a sore in your mouth as well. it's non uncommon to catch it only genitally, I'm a living example, lol.
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Avatar_f_tn
If it was only genital then thats okay i guess i was just being paranoid because i wasnt sure if i had caught it orally as well. I had shaved the same day my ex bf gave me oral and 2 days later boom ghsv 1 :( most of the forums ive read say whoever caught it genitally also got it orally so you can imagine how paranoid i was right after that. My New partner is negative for both hsv's and id hate to give this to him although its nothing but a skin condition an annoying one at that. I just want to continue having normal sex. Is this the same for you? Hows your experience been
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101028_tn?1348750963
what few studies on this we have show that anywhere from 1/4-2/3's of folks who contract hsv1 genitally, also have it orally.  Not everyone gets obvious cold sores to know that they also contracted the virus orally.

so what do you do?  You discuss this with your partner and decide together if you want to have protected oral sex or not just in case you do have it orally. In the beginning of a new relationship, all sexual contact being protected is a good idea. Most folks do not wait long in between partners and we can't test for all std's so protecting yourself is always in your best interest - it's always so much more than just the genital herpes you know you have!!

just to be sure - your lesion culture was hsv1+ also? thanks!

grace
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Avatar_f_tn
Yes my lesion was hsv 1 positive. I would hate not to have oral sex with my bf :( lol weve known each other for awhile and plan On getting serious and get married but this virus has really placed a little hold On how spontaneous we use to be.

Is genital to genital unlikely? If we do get married how likely is it that he will get hsv 1 from me?

How about him giving me oral sex?

I am not On valtrex i chose to just take it episodically. I have not had any outbreaks other than the first one.
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Avatar_f_tn
I would also hate not to get oral from my bf :( but i dont want him to contract hsv from me.

Will i be able to have sex normally like i use to?? I mean oral with him was regular like i use to do but i havent had vaginal intercourse since my diagnoses because im scared :(
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Avatar_f_tn
Should i really be looking at this as an annoying skin condition and nothing more? :( now i got all paranoid about touching my bf
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101028_tn?1348750963
why would you not have oral sex?  

you can transmit hsv1 from genitals to genitals but overall the risk is low.  Usually just avoiding sex during anything going on genitally is all it takes. hsv1 genitally only sheds about a dozen days out of the year on average so overall the odds are low that you'd transmit it to a partner whether the contact is genital or oral sex.  

we don't recommend daily suppressive therapy for hsv1 genitally unless you just need the peace of mind. we don't have studies to know if it significantly reduces shedding of hsv1 genitally as well as hsv1 genitally on average doesn't shed much or reoccur much to make it worth the money and effort to do so.

you are not a walking biohazard just because you have hsv1 genitally dear!!!  
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Avatar_f_tn
Omg!! So why do people make it such a big deal? even though its a.contagious skin condition why is there such a stigma to it ughh this is why im paranoid about it because theres so much behind it it sucks :(

It makes me feel like im contagious all the time and cant do much. I want to enjoy my bf and he enjoy me
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Avatar_f_tn
I would stop oral sex with him just in case i pass this to him through oral. Ive never had an outbreak there but what if i do have it?
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Avatar_n_tn
Well, I never had a problem with my ghsv1 besides the annoying outbreaks. I'm one of those few that get "frequent" outbreaks (once a year, which is really not frequent at all). But other than that, life has been quite normal. I never had a problem with relationships and I have never transmitted the virus to anyone.
Don't limit youself because of it. We never stop to think about kissing someone and the risks of getting herpes from this person - why should you think about it when it comes to oral sex? Try to relax, really. In the beginning, it can be tough, but eventually things start to settle down and you stop obssessing about the whole thing.

If you get a oral outbreak, you'll notice it. You'll notice much more quickily than a genital outbreak because it's in your mouth - hard to miss it.
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101028_tn?1348750963
great post bob :)


we are raised to be afraid of std's as a ploy for us to just say no to sex until marriage. We should be raised instead to be aware of them so we understand them, not fear them!!
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Avatar_f_tn
Its just a scary thing to have because u dont know when your shedding or spreading it :'( i feel like i cant have unprotected sex again :'( how am i suppose to have.children and have a normal sex life?

Before being diagnosed i was having sex 2-3 times a day of.course with my stable bf but now i cant.and it sucks
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Avatar_f_tn
so am i okay to have unprotected sex with a long term partner? My bf and I have been on and off but the guy that gave this to me was only with me for a couple months we were trying each other out and now look :( but my ex (my new partner) wants to get back with me and i never used condoms with him if we get back together and i pull out a condom he will be suspicious. Am i okay to have unprotected sex with him? i know i should tell him but what if i get scared and dont say anything and just go with the flow? I know this sounds bad but im very worried about this. No more being spontaneous for me :'(
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Avatar_f_tn
you need to tell him. he may already have oral hsv1 in which case he won't get genital hsv1 from you. you need to tell him though, its the right thing to do.
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Avatar_f_tn
Is it safe to have unprotected sex being that ghsv 1 rarely sheds/is transmitted?
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101028_tn?1348750963
that is up to you and your partner whether to have unprotected sex or not.

has he had full std testing to cover all his bases too? did you also test for other std's besides herpes since you had another partner too?
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