Disclosing genital hsv 1 to potential uninfected partner - Grace

[Sad11112]

Hi i was recently diagnosed with genital hsv 1. Im having difficulties deciding whether or not i should tell my potential unifected partner. I was diagnosed via culture. My ex bf had a history of cold sores but was unaware that it could be transmitted. I wasnt aware that he had a history of them either :(

I know I should tell my partner but I dont know how. I've read the forums here and it says that oral hsv 1 is more contagious than genital hsv 1 and it has a little to no/uncommon means of transmission. Is this true? because of this I was thinking that maybe i shouldnt tell my partner but i will feel pretty bad if he does contract it.

Ive looked through the doctor forums and have read postings from Dr. Hook who said it was up to the person but Ive also read from Dr. Warren and she says that it should be disclosed even if there is little to no transmission means. Which one is it? Im very scared and feel it was very unfair that i contracted this being my sexual history. I have never slept around and cry myself to sleep everyday just thinking that I have this and dont feel as attractive as i use to.

Im a very attractive girl and guys talk to me everyday but because of fear of transmiting this to someone i shun them out and keep it moving. Can someone help me :(

My partner and I have had intercourse but with condoms. I am not on supressive therapy and have not had another outbreak since my first in january of this year. I do feel a lot of itching down there but i think its because I have not shaved and am working out so it might be the humidity thats causing me to itch (sorry to be a bit graphic). Is my partner at risks since I am not on suppressive?

How much of an impact will it have on a relationship? I've been reading these forums all day and think im over reading and confusing myself with all of the information :(

I do want to have a future with my partner. Ive known him for so long and feel bad because I should have given him a chance instead of my ex who i knew was someone that i didnt see myself with. This really sucks and im emotionally a mess. How much of an affect will it have on my future children?

I know that if i plan to have children we would have to have unprotected sex. Meaning that my partner will be at risks of contracting hsv 1. I do not want this to happen. What should I do. I know telling would be better that way if he does contract it then it would be on him to decide whether he wants to take the risks.

Has anyone ever transmitted there genital hsv 1 to their partner? How did they manage. Is it really uncommon?

[kaitlin2232]

i would tell them. My ex bf told me. I didn't stay with him because i as of now i am negative for anything genital, and the entire thing overwhelms me. We decided to take space so i could figure out if i caught anything from him and give me time to cope with the fact he has it.

Had he not told me and i ever caught it regardless of me having  herpes or not i would of walked out the door, because he lied to me . regardless of having herpes you can find someone else to love. I think if he stays he loves you and thats what you want. You want to be honest to be fair and whatever they choose realy lets you know where you stand with that person

[waterwater]

he may already have it orally, since a lot of people do. the best thing to do is to tell him, then you can stop worrying about it all.

[gracefromHHP]

if you've known since january that you've had it, then it's way past the "right" time to talk about this. it doesn't get any easier the longer you put it off.

you can't determine your partner's risk until they've been tested to know their own status.  

[Sad11112]

Of course I would. Im just contemplating when would be the right time to tell. Ive just read so many posts that say yes you should tell and no. i just dont want him to freak out when I tell him hey I have the cold sore virus and its on my genitals :(

How infectious am I to my partner? I am not on medication or anything. I workout and eat right to keep my immune system up but im not sure if this is enough.

[gracefromHHP]

if the shoe was on the other foot, wouldn't you respect your partner more for talking about this with you than if they kept it a secret?

grace

[Sad11112]

sorry my post is so long I just wanted to get all of my concerns out there :(