Does this sound like genital herpes?

[smilergirl]

Hi,

I've been experiencing some vaginal symptoms which, after exhaustive internet research, I believe must be genital herpes. About 6 days ago I started to feel like I had cut myself with a razor, although there were no cuts there. There were just some small, red, slightly sore bumps. It just looked like a rash. There's a small cluster of them on the outside of my labia, and one set a little bit apart from the others a bit further towards my vaginal entrance. I'd say they are all underneath the skin surface, although I just checked again tonight and a few look like they are getting a bit pimply. Still under the surface though. So far no blisters or fluid of any kind. However, I've been using Lavender & Melaleuca essential oil since I first noticed the irritation, as I didn't think for one second it would be herpes and these are what I use for any kind of skin condition I have, so this may have arrested their growth. I've also been experiencing some tingling sensations down there (comparable to shingles, which I had around my groin when I was 13) and a little itchiness, though not much. No aches, pains, fever or anything. But I don't see what else they can be. I've had a yeast infection for 2 years now & have just started taking medium term fluconazole does for it, I wonder if this has lowered my immune system enough to allow the virus to take hold?

If it is herpes, then I reckon I must have caught it years ago because the man I've been sleeping with, my ex, on & off for 2 years (& solidly for one of those years when we were a couple) hasn't slept with anyone else in that time and also got STI tested when we first got together (and I had been tested a few months before) Although, he could have been carrying it from before then and just not shown symptoms. I slept with 2 other people last year, both with condoms, but they gave me oral sex. I'm a bit confused - can you catch it from someone through them giving you oral? I suppose you can. And if they have oral herpes, can that become genital herpes for you? Also, what seems weird is that this came on 2 days after I slept with my ex. If he'd contracted it some time before we got together 2 years ago & passed it to me, wouldn't I have had an outbreak sooner? I mean, we use condoms 99% of the time, actually every time, but every so often there's been a moment where he's inside me without one. We thought we were clean - I knew I hadn't slept with anyone else unprotected, and he hadn't slept with anyone else at all. I know it's possible, but is it common to carry it for a number of years without an outbreak

Anyway, from what I can gather it's almost impossible to tell where you got it from. But, I am worried out of my mind and can't believe it's happening. I am going to attempt to go to a clinic Monday to get tested, but I'm not sure if the bumps will test positive because I've been using the essential oils which are antiviral, antibacterial etc, and the bumps will be a week old by then. Do you think it'd be worth me getting a PCR blood test a this stage, seeing as it doesn't seem like I was recently infected?

Any help you can offer would be so appreciated. I'm scared & upset - I've dealt with STI's in the past, and yet have spent 98% of my sexual life being ultra-careful, and I thought I'd paid my dues in that department. At this stage of my life (I'm in my mid 30's) the thought of having a lifelong disease and not being able to meet a partner or have children (don't understand how you can get pregnant if you can't have sex without a condom?) is just a bit too much to deal with. Any advice anyone can give me would be so very much appreciated.

Thanks in advance  

[smilergirl]

Thanks so much for your thoughts. I'm going to the clinic tomorrow but it's already a week since I noticed symptoms so I don't know if a culture will work, and I don't know if the free clinics do blood tests for HSV but I can ask. I hear what you're saying about meeting guys, pregnancy etc - I read so much inflicting info about how to handle yourself sexually with herpes that I don't know what to believe. Right now I just want to retreat into my shell and not even speak to a man let alone have sex with one!!

Grace, do you have any thoughts on my initial email & whether this even sounds like herpes to you?

Thanks again!

[soworriedpleasehelp]

Hi, Im 18 and actually was in a similar situation to you last year -with only one partner- and still freaking out today. But from what I have read on the internet, you can actually have sex without a condom as you cannot catch the virus unless it is active (but often it can be active and show no symptoms).
You can take medication and reduce the number of outbreaks, so you only really need to use protection (this is talking about when you're married btw, obviously beforehand I would just use protection always) when you have the active virus…although it would be best to abstain in those situations as it may be on areas that condoms do not protect.
To be honest, I was thinking - and this may sound crazy - when married, the only danger is passing it to your child (but this is only if delivered naturally WHEN the virus is active - you can deliver naturally when the virus is definitely not active, or they do a C-section if it IS active). So, once married, would it not just be easier to have unprotected sex and then…yes your husband would be infected… but you both just take medication and can then always have normal sex, conceive naturally, and live happily? Having written that it does sound a bit odd for someone to agree to being infected but i suppose it could make your lives easier. (ONCE MARRIED)!
If a person has HSV1 (Oral herpes) they can give it to you through oral - but you would still only have HSV1.. just on your vagina. A person can also have HSV2 orally and give it to you through oral also. Basically, you can have either in either locations, they remain the same strain but just in different locations.
In regards to if you would have caught it before from your ex… he may have had it for years, and you can only catch it when it is active - he may have never had the active virus whilst you were together. And even if you both got tested, unless he had an active virus and was swabbed on the site of it… or he got a specific blood test for herpes (which is not a typical test they do when screening)… he would indeed have been told he was al clear.
The only real times in which you can diagnose it is when you are initially infected and get tested before 3 days on the ulcers… OR if after a decent amount of time (not sure how long) you have a blood test, so if you think this is from a while ago then blood tests are probably your best bet.
note that when you DO get tested, there is a possibility of false negatives, the best way is to get the bumps swabbed ASAP!

I also understand how you feel, like you are damaged and will have to settle in the future or that you'll be rejected because of it… but as people keep saying to me…. If somebody doesn't want to be with you because of it… they probably wouldn't be with you in the long run anyway… and if a person does stay with you after you've told them… then you know they're genuine. I know that isn't really much consolation but if you put it into perspective, herpes does not shorten your life, it does not make you lose a limb or anything like that, it's merely something that you have or you don't - (although as above it does come into consideration when delivering a baby) - if anything, it ensures that in the future, you only have sex with people who are genuinely into you.