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Entering a serious relationship with a girl who has gentital herpes...
Hi doc,
I am a 29 year old male starting a serious relationship with a 24 year old girl who has genital herpes. She told me from the outset that she had the virus and initially we used condoms.
She also mentioned that previous partners were able to not use condoms and so I researched this and found that this could also be true. We have now had sex a number of times without condoms and so far I do not believe I have contracted the virus. I would like to continue this relationship seriously but would like to ask some questions:
1. What are my chances of getting genital herpes from her without protection. Will she really be able to tell me when she's having an outbreak so we can avoid haing sex during this time?
2. I would like to perform oral sex on her, but she refuses - as she is scared of giving me herpes 1 and coldsores. If she does not have an outbreak then aren't my chances just the same here as normal sex?
3. What can I do to reduce my chances of getting gentital or type 1 herpes from her? Should I be asking her to take Valtrex or something? Should I wear a condom when we have sex for the second time in a night if one of us gets a bit sore if we have rough sex the first time?!!!
Your feedback is most welcome. Thanks BD
I am a 29 year old male starting a serious relationship with a 24 year old girl who has genital herpes. She told me from the outset that she had the virus and initially we used condoms.
She also mentioned that previous partners were able to not use condoms and so I researched this and found that this could also be true. We have now had sex a number of times without condoms and so far I do not believe I have contracted the virus. I would like to continue this relationship seriously but would like to ask some questions:
1. What are my chances of getting genital herpes from her without protection. Will she really be able to tell me when she's having an outbreak so we can avoid haing sex during this time?
2. I would like to perform oral sex on her, but she refuses - as she is scared of giving me herpes 1 and coldsores. If she does not have an outbreak then aren't my chances just the same here as normal sex?
3. What can I do to reduce my chances of getting gentital or type 1 herpes from her? Should I be asking her to take Valtrex or something? Should I wear a condom when we have sex for the second time in a night if one of us gets a bit sore if we have rough sex the first time?!!!
Your feedback is most welcome. Thanks BD
Hi grace,
Does that mean that if you have genital hsv 1 your partner can still get oral hsv 1 if he doesnt have hsv 1 oral?
I have genital hsv 1 and am.so terried of passing it on to my new partner. My ex bf had cold sores didnt have one present at the time nor hadnt disclosed anything to.me. Im so scared no one will want me :(
Does that mean that if you have genital hsv 1 your partner can still get oral hsv 1 if he doesnt have hsv 1 oral?
I have genital hsv 1 and am.so terried of passing it on to my new partner. My ex bf had cold sores didnt have one present at the time nor hadnt disclosed anything to.me. Im so scared no one will want me :(
does she have hsv1 or hsv2 genitally? Does she take daily suppressive therapy?
have you been tested for herpes to know your own status?
If we assume she has hsv2, if you do nothing but avoid sex any time she has anything going genitally, you are 96% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from her. If she takes daily suppressive therapy and you also use condoms too in addition to avoiding sex during symptoms, you are 99% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from her. Very low risk in general and every precaution you take, just puts the odds more in your favor of staying negative.
she would have to have hsv1 genitally in order for you to get hsv1 from performing oral sex on her. Is that the type she has? You aren't likely in general to contract herpes orally from performing oral sex on her, regardless of the type she has!
grace
have you been tested for herpes to know your own status?
If we assume she has hsv2, if you do nothing but avoid sex any time she has anything going genitally, you are 96% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from her. If she takes daily suppressive therapy and you also use condoms too in addition to avoiding sex during symptoms, you are 99% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from her. Very low risk in general and every precaution you take, just puts the odds more in your favor of staying negative.
she would have to have hsv1 genitally in order for you to get hsv1 from performing oral sex on her. Is that the type she has? You aren't likely in general to contract herpes orally from performing oral sex on her, regardless of the type she has!
grace
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
