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Feel Awful
I recently told the guy I was dating that I had HSV-2 after we had already had sex 4 times! I feel bad because I usually tell my partners before hand so they can make the choice, however, me and him was moving so fast that I allowed my body to take over my mind! I have been on meds for 10 years and we used condoms but it burst and we stopped. Now he won't talk to me and I understand his point of view but he didn't even let me explain, I know that I'm wrong and I feel awful about the choice I made for him. I have never put no one in the line of fire to catch the bullet. I have tried to reach out to him but no respone, I have cried my eyes out, beat myself up, and prayed for forgiveness. I know that he has not caught the bullet (other words have it) because I took every measure to make sure I didn't transmit it, what else can I do? I'm so stressed out, which is not good for my situation!
Your right, why even bother making myself look foolish! Life goes on and day by day I am healing and learning how to love me!
Honestly the guy isn't worth it. You need to stare at someones facebook who is worth it though and contact them. You're walking down the path of loss. But really it is he who is losing out on a very caring and concerned person. Time to look at the guys who are worth your time and I am sure there is quite a few who would love to have just 10 minutes with you.
Mistakeguy789,
Thanks and I see what your saying. I find myself at times looking at his facebook and wanting to contact him, however, I know that he will brush me off so I will not waste my time. I'm feeling better and taking it day by day, asking the Lord to give me strenght and to keep me focus.
Thanks and I see what your saying. I find myself at times looking at his facebook and wanting to contact him, however, I know that he will brush me off so I will not waste my time. I'm feeling better and taking it day by day, asking the Lord to give me strenght and to keep me focus.
I am sure he will send you one. You can be on the look out still. Nothing wrong with looking. There is a story of the man who was in a flood. 3 rescue boats came and the guy would tell them that the Lord would save him. Well he died of drowning when he went to heaven he asked God why he let him die. God looked at him and said I sent you 3 rescue boats!
The point is you never know when a guy is there for you that God sent you. Keep your head up.
The point is you never know when a guy is there for you that God sent you. Keep your head up.
Thank you but I think I will wait for the Lord to send the right one to me instead of me trying yo find the right one!
Well seems like you need to let go. I know that is easier said than done but you gotta remember you are still a good catch for any guy. If he returns great. If not move on find you a better guy that will get the facts and have more of a concern and care for you. Someone who will know that it takes trust to tell someone that too. I am sure you will find someone worth it. In the mean time I will hold an umbrella up for you and that rain. :-)
Your right, I really need to find one but the town I live in so damn small so the options are limited. Its almost been a week and no phone call or text message, I guess I need to face the fact that he is done with me and move on. Its really hard right now, the tears seem to keep falling, I tryed to get out today but my social group is tied up with other things and I can't go to my parents house because of some family issues that's going on. I guess that saying is true, when it rains it pours and its pouring on my end!!!
It might take finding the right therapist too. If it's not someone that you are clicking with and able to gain trust with, hard to talk about things.
Thank You. I have been to a therapist before but felt like it was not working, however, I probably did not give it enough time. I probably will go seek some help because I can see that I can not do this alone and my famliy isn't much help at times when it comes to needing someone to talk too.
the post in question was removed. it was inappropriate.
if you ever feel like all of this is getting to be too much for you - please call your local suicide hotline and talk to someone. better yet, start with a counselor/therapist now to help you work through things before they get to that point! Herpes is really small potatoes in the big picture - it's common and easily treated for the most part.
keep talking and venting :)
if you ever feel like all of this is getting to be too much for you - please call your local suicide hotline and talk to someone. better yet, start with a counselor/therapist now to help you work through things before they get to that point! Herpes is really small potatoes in the big picture - it's common and easily treated for the most part.
keep talking and venting :)
i'm not a mean person but she came at me wrong and should be careful with her words! I would wish or put someone in the line of fire to deal with this because I know the mental and physical effects it has had one me. Some days I feel like jumping off a bridge but then I think about how it would effect my family, they have already lost one child to suicide and I don't want to put them back through that. Thanks for listening and your help!
First off I would like to say sorry for LisaSJ's comments. We on the forums have a respect to not judge anyone. But the regulars do that sometimes others feel the need to judge.
I think your boyfriend is overreacting and I think the smart thing would have been to get more information and learn about this. Sadly there isn't a lot of discussion about this out there. For me while I am negative and single I know that if a girl came to me and told me she had HSV-2 I know I would be asking a few questions such as type and knowing if they are taking daily antiviral therapy.
A lot of my attitude comes from the fact I know what I know about HSV before. I also agree with grace you are unclean if you don't shower. The fact is someone who knows they have HSV do a lot more to protect their partners then those that don't even know. Your bofyriend is making a mistake a bad one. He has to take some responsibility in that he moved the relationship fast as well and should have asked questions himself.
Like grace said he needs to learn what his true risks are. But if he doesn't want to you are better off without him. You will find a guy that will accept you for you and it doesn't mean they have to have HSV. But I do see your side though. Please let us know if we can help out as well.
I think your boyfriend is overreacting and I think the smart thing would have been to get more information and learn about this. Sadly there isn't a lot of discussion about this out there. For me while I am negative and single I know that if a girl came to me and told me she had HSV-2 I know I would be asking a few questions such as type and knowing if they are taking daily antiviral therapy.
A lot of my attitude comes from the fact I know what I know about HSV before. I also agree with grace you are unclean if you don't shower. The fact is someone who knows they have HSV do a lot more to protect their partners then those that don't even know. Your bofyriend is making a mistake a bad one. He has to take some responsibility in that he moved the relationship fast as well and should have asked questions himself.
Like grace said he needs to learn what his true risks are. But if he doesn't want to you are better off without him. You will find a guy that will accept you for you and it doesn't mean they have to have HSV. But I do see your side though. Please let us know if we can help out as well.
Who the hell are you to judge me, I did what suppose to do to protect him! I didn't ask for your sympathy so get over yourself sweety! I have never infected any of my boyfriends and my they all can confirm to that, for your information he's not talking to me so before you pop trash on someone board ask for the whole story instead of assuming so sh**! Lady back up because you don't want to come at me wrong becasue I'm not the one!
the herpes homepage has some terrific posters if you want more support than this forum :)
I just hope in time that things in my life will get better. I also hope in time he will at least call and let me know he's okay and tested negative. From his reaction over the phone and through text I know he went and got tested, however, I understand his position. One last question, do you know any good online support groups, I feel like people in my position understand me a little better than outsiders!? Thanks for you help and I look forward to getting more advice from you!!!!!
mpwh.net is the biggest one out there and been around for years. I've found in the past that their message boards were depressing as hell but it was useful for putting up a personal ad on.
I think positive singles is still out there too.
your ex partners risk of herpes was very low - 1% over the course of an entire year. totally up to him if he wants to pursue testing or not. odds are he's never been tested for herpes prior to this.
I think positive singles is still out there too.
your ex partners risk of herpes was very low - 1% over the course of an entire year. totally up to him if he wants to pursue testing or not. odds are he's never been tested for herpes prior to this.
I didn't know a there was a herpes dating site, can you recommoned a good one so that I will have it just in case I decide to start dating again? Also, should he go get tested since the condom broke? I have been on daily valtrex for 10 years and at the time of both sexual encounters I didn't have or feel in any break outs.
you are unclean if you don't shower regularly dear. Having herpes means you are infected with a very common virus, not that there is anything unworthy to others about yourself!! when you take all the precautions we currently have available to us, you can get the risk of transmitting hsv2 to a partner down lower than you can the risk of pregnancy from just using the birth control pill! Is it a pain in the butt to have to explain it to each new partner? yes it is but the reality is we all should be talking about all std's and testing with every new partner we have. It's as much about protecting yourself from what a partner might have as it is talking about the herpes you know you have.
I've only ever had 2 guys run away because of my herpes - many more have turned tail before we ever got to that part of things. Most of my friends who have herpes have never been turned down because of their herpes. it really isn't the deal breaker most folks assume it must be.
have you considered the herpes dating sites to give you a break from having to explain about your herpes? it doesn't keep you from having to talk about other std's, condoms and birth control but at least you know your herpes isn't an issue.
I've only ever had 2 guys run away because of my herpes - many more have turned tail before we ever got to that part of things. Most of my friends who have herpes have never been turned down because of their herpes. it really isn't the deal breaker most folks assume it must be.
have you considered the herpes dating sites to give you a break from having to explain about your herpes? it doesn't keep you from having to talk about other std's, condoms and birth control but at least you know your herpes isn't an issue.
I have talked to my close friends that know my situation and they have told me not to contact him since he is not responding to me, one of my guy friends said to give it time! I am so depressed and hate myself for not being up front. From this experience I don't think I will be on the market for dating any time soon, I'm so damn tired of explaining myself and this damn disease, it has ruin my life! I have to be real with myself, what man is going to wnat to be with an unclean woman?! My friends tell me that things will get better, kinda hard to beleive at this point!
If he doesn't want to listen to you, not a lot you can do. let him know you are here to talk to when he's ready but it sounds like it was a trust issue for him perhaps. If he won't talk to you, you might never know.
call your gf's and get their support. Not too much else you can do at this point if he's chosen to cut off communication.
grace
call your gf's and get their support. Not too much else you can do at this point if he's chosen to cut off communication.
grace
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Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
