Genital HSV-1 confusion? unsure?

[molly3253]

Hi,
Approximatley 1 month ago i discovered soreness in my genital region i also felts tired and headachy, a few days later open lesions formed on labia minor; both sides, on my clitoris and a patch of blisters around one side of my vagina opening. I also had a large amount of discharge-this was not bad smelling or strange in colour, there was just a lot of it. I also had a lot of pain when urinating. I didn't consider herpes as an option as I have only ever had one sexual partner (who i'm with now and have been with for nearly 2 years. We have been having unprotected for the most part of this relationship).

I went to a doctor, he told me that it looked like there were two different types of infection present. He swabbed both of them. I also did a urine sample, which showed i had cystitis which i was prescribed antibiotics for. The results came back, one of the swabs was positive for a bacterial infection which was cleared up with by the antibiotics and the other wasd positive for HSV-1.

My boyfriend suffers from coldsores yet he has never preformed oral sex on me though. He used his saliva as lubricant the weekend before my outbreak-would this be enough to pass in on? I'm very confused how i managed to catch this. I have a few specific questions for you:

1) since he has never had HSV-1 genital should we use protection to have sex from now on?

2) are there different strengths of the virus, should i be stern about keeping his mouth/saliva away from my genitals and vice versa?

3) Do i need to take a blood test to make sure the swab was correct?

4) At this moment I have tingling and short bursts of aching in my genital and have had so for 4/5 days but no signs of an outbreak. If is possible for outbreaks to only get to this level without forming sores/blisters?

5) I have read the other threads about genital HSV-1 and am happy to hear that genital to genital transmission is low and outbreaks are less common than that of genital HSV-2. Most posts state that people with HSV-1 will experience 1-3 outbreaks in the next 2-3 years, after this is it considered very uncommon to have outbreaks?

6) Is the amount of asymptomatic shedding less for those who have outbreaks less often?

Thank-you so much for your time,
I'm lookin forward to hearing your answers.
sincerly

[molly3253]

hi, thank you for your comment-possibly the most reassuring thing i've heard. So have you never had issues with transmission if u always use condoms? So, through your knowledge and experience-is it your understanding that you if someone has hsv1 orally then i won't be able to pass it onto him genitally?

thanks in advance for your answer

[petal130]

I was in your shoes about two years ago. Diagnosed with genital HSV1 from my partner of five years. He had had herpes orally since his teens (we're in our forties) and neither of us knew the virus could be transmitted via oral sex (duh!) especially with him never having an active cold sore. My primary outbreak was awful - same description as yours. I could barely walk, sit or sleep for a week. I too had feelings of "well isn't this swell - I get stuck with genital herpes and he still has just oral herpes - not fair!". I never really felt anger towards him, but also like you, that if I moved on (which I since have, completely unrelated to the herpes) I would be the one stuck with genital herpes and having to deal with it in my next relationship.

Flash forward to today: I never think about my herpes. It pretty much has just faded into the sunset. I've had a couple very minor outbreaks, one about six months after and then again a year after tyat (took Valtrex and nipped it in the bud). Chances are I may never have another, or perhaps just very infrequently. I've also dated one person who in fact was HSV1 positive (oral herpes) and so it wasn't an issue. We both preferred using condoms anyway, as in my rule book, even with current STD testing, I use condoms until there's a solid level of trust.

So in a nutshell, it all sort of fades into the sunset - you're just not in that place yet, and I can completely relate to it. It really just becomes a non-event, and yes you may have to perhaps deal with an occasional outbreak (or, not)... and in relationships lord knows there's much more crap to potentially deal with than something as easy as herpes.

[molly3253]

I'm having difficulty coming to terms with this whole issue. It is causing lot's of problems between my boyfriend and me, and i seem to hold resentment to the fact that he gave this to me even though i understand it wasn't intentional. I feel like i'm trapped in this particular relationship as he knows about my/ our herpes condition. If we were to break up, what would be the transmission rate to someone else? or to someone else who has hsv-1 orally?  obviously avoiding sex while i have outbreaks.

Is it less after the first year?

How are you meant to tell someone you have herpes?! I understand that if they can't accept you with this virus then theyre probably not right for you anyway...but roles reversed, if someone told me-i know i wouldn't continue the relationship

thanks

[molly3253]

He is my first partner but he has had quite a few partners before me, He's positive that he's never had any symptoms before

thanks for your answer

[gracefromHHP]

no need for more testing, you know what you have and where you have it.  No reason for precautions other than when you have genital symptoms, err on the side of caution and avoid sex with your partner.

have either of you ever had other partners prior to each other?  

typically saliva as a lubricant isn't enough to transmit hsv1 to the genitals but in theory it could happen.  your bf isn't likely to also have hsv1 genitally since he has it orally unless he contracted it both areas at the same time.  

grace