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Genital HSV-1
I was diagnosed with genital HSV-1 after a very mild outbreak that two different doctors thought was simply an infected hair follicle. i have had no subsequent outbreaks for 3 years. i have also never had an oral outbreak. do i still have a duty to disclose this a partner? (note: i have always disclosed and will continue to do so if medical circumstances demand)
The issue of whether and how and when to inform a potential partner about HSV-1 is not so simple as some people suggest. People have said this should occur prior to being "intimate" with another person. But what do you class as "intimate". HSV-1 is as likely, in fact MORE likely (given that it is more commonly oral than genital), to be transmitted by a kiss than by sexual intercourse. People commonly get it as children.
People have made the point that a person who lets a little thing like HSV-1 stop them wanting to be with you mustn't care that much about you anyway and therefore isn't the sort of person you should want to be with. But how many people in the 21st century have already reached that level of love and connection and committment with a potential partner PRIOR to their first kiss?
I would suggest that a person who makes a habit of saying "By the way, I have Herpes, and you might catch it from kissing me" when they've just met someone, and always before kissing anyone, is quite likely never to be kissed again, and therefore never to have the opportunity to be "intimate" again. Which seems a huge life-long sacrifice to make for the sake of being up-front about such a minor ailment (in terms of it's actual impact on most sufferer's health), with such a low likelihood of transmission (at least in the absence of a breakout), which is carried without much inconvenience by the majority of the population anyway.
People have made the point that a person who lets a little thing like HSV-1 stop them wanting to be with you mustn't care that much about you anyway and therefore isn't the sort of person you should want to be with. But how many people in the 21st century have already reached that level of love and connection and committment with a potential partner PRIOR to their first kiss?
I would suggest that a person who makes a habit of saying "By the way, I have Herpes, and you might catch it from kissing me" when they've just met someone, and always before kissing anyone, is quite likely never to be kissed again, and therefore never to have the opportunity to be "intimate" again. Which seems a huge life-long sacrifice to make for the sake of being up-front about such a minor ailment (in terms of it's actual impact on most sufferer's health), with such a low likelihood of transmission (at least in the absence of a breakout), which is carried without much inconvenience by the majority of the population anyway.
" If something as common as the herpes simplex virus is enough to scare off someone - is that really someone you want to be involved with long term? Life will get a hell of a lot harder than just hsv and personally I need someone by my side who realizes that. Perhaps that's just the 105 year old in me talking. "
I'm not exactly sure how that is insensitive that I want a partner who I can tell I have herpes and they are accepting of that because it's certainly not going to be the hardest thing we have to deal with in a relationship together over time? I know from my own life experiences that I need someone who is in it for the long haul - that whole in sickness and in health thing that they are planning on sticking by my side. Someone who is willing to throw it all away just because I tell them I have herpes is not someone who fits that description of a partner to me. If only herpes would be the biggest obstacle in a relationship over time eh? My comment actually didn't have much to do with herpes - it's about looking for a partner in general. We are each entitled to our own opinions however so you are certainly welcome to be perturbed by it. When you ask for folks 2 cents - you are certainly going to get it so be prepared.
http://www.ahmf.com.au/media/AHMF_Genital_Herpes_Prevalence.pdf according to that study quoted in that article it's 76% of australians have hsv1 on blood tests. Still higher than the US but it also mentions that "The seroprevalence of HSV-1 was 76% with significant difference by age group, sex and Indigenous studies". Either way still not 98% which was my point - especially the younger you are the lower the stats info that was in my comments. You can sit in the nursing home and say that yes almost everyone there has hsv1. You can't sit in a freshman college class and say the same thing which was my point.
Also if you are referring to HHH's prior stance on hsv1 you'll find that in the last year or so he's changed to encouraging folks to talk about their hsv1 status with a partner. He's been singing a little different tune after a few years on the std message boards thankfully!! We always encourage talking about hsv status here because it's not a question of risk as much as it is just being open with a partner and establishing a good communication pattern with them. If you aren't talking about your hsv1 with them, what aren't they talking to you about? Also if you think it's hard to talk about herpes before you are intimate with someone - imagine how it would be to tell them after you've been involved with them or even if you have really bad luck - after you've transmitted herpes to them.
grace
I'm not exactly sure how that is insensitive that I want a partner who I can tell I have herpes and they are accepting of that because it's certainly not going to be the hardest thing we have to deal with in a relationship together over time? I know from my own life experiences that I need someone who is in it for the long haul - that whole in sickness and in health thing that they are planning on sticking by my side. Someone who is willing to throw it all away just because I tell them I have herpes is not someone who fits that description of a partner to me. If only herpes would be the biggest obstacle in a relationship over time eh? My comment actually didn't have much to do with herpes - it's about looking for a partner in general. We are each entitled to our own opinions however so you are certainly welcome to be perturbed by it. When you ask for folks 2 cents - you are certainly going to get it so be prepared.
http://www.ahmf.com.au/media/AHMF_Genital_Herpes_Prevalence.pdf according to that study quoted in that article it's 76% of australians have hsv1 on blood tests. Still higher than the US but it also mentions that "The seroprevalence of HSV-1 was 76% with significant difference by age group, sex and Indigenous studies". Either way still not 98% which was my point - especially the younger you are the lower the stats info that was in my comments. You can sit in the nursing home and say that yes almost everyone there has hsv1. You can't sit in a freshman college class and say the same thing which was my point.
Also if you are referring to HHH's prior stance on hsv1 you'll find that in the last year or so he's changed to encouraging folks to talk about their hsv1 status with a partner. He's been singing a little different tune after a few years on the std message boards thankfully!! We always encourage talking about hsv status here because it's not a question of risk as much as it is just being open with a partner and establishing a good communication pattern with them. If you aren't talking about your hsv1 with them, what aren't they talking to you about? Also if you think it's hard to talk about herpes before you are intimate with someone - imagine how it would be to tell them after you've been involved with them or even if you have really bad luck - after you've transmitted herpes to them.
grace
It was my doctor who told me that 98% of the population suffer from HSV-1. I am in Australia so perhaps the statistics are different here. I have also read articles from a doctor on this site who says that it is up to the individual to disclose HSV-1 and transmission isnt really a problem as it sheds less and most people have it anyway.
I havent made up my mind on disclosing it at this moment, but I will only consider having sex with someone who I want to form a meaningful relationship with anyway, and unfortuanately I havent met that person at this point in time.
Your comment about the 105 year old was insensitive as most of us asking these questions have only just being diagnosed (1 week for me today and heartbroken) whereas I read one of you other posts where you said that you were diagnosed 20+ years ago. I think its fair to say that no-one on here is immature but we havent had a couple of decades to deal with this either. That is just my opinion.
I havent made up my mind on disclosing it at this moment, but I will only consider having sex with someone who I want to form a meaningful relationship with anyway, and unfortuanately I havent met that person at this point in time.
Your comment about the 105 year old was insensitive as most of us asking these questions have only just being diagnosed (1 week for me today and heartbroken) whereas I read one of you other posts where you said that you were diagnosed 20+ years ago. I think its fair to say that no-one on here is immature but we havent had a couple of decades to deal with this either. That is just my opinion.
Yes - if your fiance has hsv1 orally and you have hsv1 genitally it's not really an issue. No need to use condoms just because of herpes. He has significant protection against contracting hsv1 genitally from you. Just avoid sex whenever you have anything going on genitally to err on the side of caution .
grace
grace
Don't you wish the person who gave it to you had disclosed their status before hand? Then you wouldn't be here.
It's great to hear some discussion about Genital HSV-1! Like you said, Abigail, it's kind of hard to get any answers about Genital HSV-1.
To further expand on this discussion/question..... I have Genital HSV-1 and my fiance has Oral HSV-1 (cold sores). I was diagnosed and had my first outbreak back in September. Since then, not a thing. I've actually forgotten about the virus... (thankfully, because it was pretty tramatic for me at first). Since I have HSV-1 genitally and my fiance has it orally, is it safe to say that we're good to go and we dont need to worry about this anymore? As in... we don't have to use condoms or worry about infecting eachother as long as we don't have sex when one of us is actually having an outbreak?
From what I understand, that would be the case. But again, it's hard to find much information on Genital HSV-1... so if anyone has anything to add, I'd love to hear it.
Thank you.
To further expand on this discussion/question..... I have Genital HSV-1 and my fiance has Oral HSV-1 (cold sores). I was diagnosed and had my first outbreak back in September. Since then, not a thing. I've actually forgotten about the virus... (thankfully, because it was pretty tramatic for me at first). Since I have HSV-1 genitally and my fiance has it orally, is it safe to say that we're good to go and we dont need to worry about this anymore? As in... we don't have to use condoms or worry about infecting eachother as long as we don't have sex when one of us is actually having an outbreak?
From what I understand, that would be the case. But again, it's hard to find much information on Genital HSV-1... so if anyone has anything to add, I'd love to hear it.
Thank you.
it is a consensus that it would puss though even if it wasn't shedding right for hsv1? i got told it was a bad skin infection and then freaked some more cause herpes is clearly a skin infection. **** on the internet didn't help me out. the girl i was going out with got checked out through blood tests and pap tests however, i don't believe she got an actual herpes blood test. she's had cold sores but i have seen so many doctors who have all told me its not it. i am currently using lamsil cream. i used fucidin and clomatrodrim yeast cream which made matters worse. fucidin helped quite a bit as did lamasil. apparently its jock itch & prostititus which explains for the inability to tell if its internal or external as the skin is bothersome at times as is the inside tip sorta. it sucks to cause it happened with a girlfriend who swore she never did anything then sorta contradicted her story to me afterwards which made me freak out. i hear timing from when the sexual conduct happened and when testing is conducted can make a difference for the herpes tests. got a urologist middle june. pretty much shitting my pants just thinking about it. never been so scared in my life. looking forward to being better. i hope it was a mistake with the test. i know a friend gets terrible cold sores which would like test positive for hsv1 i suppose. wish you all the best of lucky. from my experience, i suggest you not over thinking it. what is done is done. can't change things now. just hope for the best or pray like i am doing. cheers.
i had a small sore on my outer labia that just seemed odd to me. after going to drs that gave me anti bacterial ointment and said it was just an infected hair and it didnt clear, i went back to a different dr who swabbed it and ran if for hsv. it was positive for 1 and neg for 2. i've never had an oral sore or subsequent gential sore.
First off no it's not 98% of folks have hsv1. In the US it's about 56% of adults have hsv1. If you are in your early 20's that stat is lower and if you are over 60 it's higher. It's still always a good chunk of those around you have hsv1 but it's not a given that everyone has it. if it was - then hsv1 wouldn't be the cause of 1/3 of all newly acquired genital herpes infections ( it's double that in the under 30 age group ).
So should you have to tell someone about a hsv1 infection ? I"m giving my 2 cents here to apply regardless of its location. To me if you know you have something then not talking about it with a partner is not the best way to handle it. Even though having to say the word HERPES outloud isn't always easy to do for any of us ( myself included - I'm not out there telling folks my full herpes status before my first kiss either ) it's still a good idea to talk about it with your partner. Hsv1 doesn't protect you from hsv2 significantly. Avoid talking about your hsv1 and it gets hard to talk about hsv2 with a partner. It's just messed up thinking to expect your partner to talk about hsv2 if you aren't willing to talk about your hsv1 infection. Also to me - we can't complain about the stigma of herpes if we aren't willing to do our part. Try to avoid acknowledging that you know you have herpes and you are just adding to the stigma. Also just because hsv1 genitally doesn't shed very often and the risk of transmitting to a partner is low - doesn't mean it's zero and it's ok to just assume it's not something you have to talk about. Also we don't have good stats on hsv1 acquisition at the same time - the few studies we do have only looked at the appearance of obvious cold sores - none of them did oral swabbing to see if hsv1 was detected or not without obvious cold sores. You very well might also have hsv1 orally which does shed more often. Just something else to keep in mind. Why not just be open and honest with a partner before you actually have sex about all of it? It's a good opportunity to cover the other std's as well as condom use and birth control. Might as well just get it all out of the way early on so you can stop worrying about it the rest of the relationship right?
I think when someone is wondering should they talk about their herpes - that's a sign that they want to do it but they are afraid that it will cause someone to want to not be with them. If something as common as the herpes simplex virus is enough to scare off someone - is that really someone you want to be involved with long term? Life will get a hell of a lot harder than just hsv and personally I need someone by my side who realizes that. Perhaps that's just the 105 year old in me talking.
grace
So should you have to tell someone about a hsv1 infection ? I"m giving my 2 cents here to apply regardless of its location. To me if you know you have something then not talking about it with a partner is not the best way to handle it. Even though having to say the word HERPES outloud isn't always easy to do for any of us ( myself included - I'm not out there telling folks my full herpes status before my first kiss either ) it's still a good idea to talk about it with your partner. Hsv1 doesn't protect you from hsv2 significantly. Avoid talking about your hsv1 and it gets hard to talk about hsv2 with a partner. It's just messed up thinking to expect your partner to talk about hsv2 if you aren't willing to talk about your hsv1 infection. Also to me - we can't complain about the stigma of herpes if we aren't willing to do our part. Try to avoid acknowledging that you know you have herpes and you are just adding to the stigma. Also just because hsv1 genitally doesn't shed very often and the risk of transmitting to a partner is low - doesn't mean it's zero and it's ok to just assume it's not something you have to talk about. Also we don't have good stats on hsv1 acquisition at the same time - the few studies we do have only looked at the appearance of obvious cold sores - none of them did oral swabbing to see if hsv1 was detected or not without obvious cold sores. You very well might also have hsv1 orally which does shed more often. Just something else to keep in mind. Why not just be open and honest with a partner before you actually have sex about all of it? It's a good opportunity to cover the other std's as well as condom use and birth control. Might as well just get it all out of the way early on so you can stop worrying about it the rest of the relationship right?
I think when someone is wondering should they talk about their herpes - that's a sign that they want to do it but they are afraid that it will cause someone to want to not be with them. If something as common as the herpes simplex virus is enough to scare off someone - is that really someone you want to be involved with long term? Life will get a hell of a lot harder than just hsv and personally I need someone by my side who realizes that. Perhaps that's just the 105 year old in me talking.
grace
What did your "mild outbreak" look like? I am very worried that I may have experienced the same thing but wont know for sure till blood tests in 1 month. My questions:
Did it start as a red patch and develope into a bump or a blister or what?
How long did it last?
How long after the sexual encounter did it occur?
Sorry to be pesky, but I'm a little freaked out.
Did it start as a red patch and develope into a bump or a blister or what?
How long did it last?
How long after the sexual encounter did it occur?
Sorry to be pesky, but I'm a little freaked out.
i think its common courtesy really to let someone know. i saw a video about women on www.twentysomethingtv.com who has a friend who discloses about herpes after she's had sex. that is so wrong. educate the partner on hsv1 and where the location is. i was unaware till recently that it can be passed on via cold sores and through a terrible rash. all doctors have given me clearance other wise but suggested no sexual activity till i am a better. i would suggest you educate the fact that majority of people have hsv1 which is pretty much cold sores. i do believe it can be passed down genetically too. if the blisters and or rash pusses on your genitals i would think you should let them know immediately. even hsv1 can cause implications for them without the lack of knowledge. with knowledge you can prevent hurting your partner(s).
I am wondering the same thing and cant seem to get an answer from anyone - not sure if they are avoiding the question :) I posted a question on this site and I got a reply that the likelihood of passing it on is very minimal as most of the population have it. Logically thinking, 98% of the population have coldsores and this doesnt stop people from going around pashing without disclosing it.
Personally this has scared the living daylights out of me and I would take every step to protect myself in future, and hence any new partners will be protected from HSV-1 shouldnt they have it already.
To be honest, Im feeling a little ripped off as the chances of getting it there would have been almost impossible if I had of got it on the mouth!
Oh about your post... (sorry but needed to have a whinge!) How did the doctor make his diagnosis? Because a blood test would show up HSV-1 on any part of the body, not just the genitals.
Personally this has scared the living daylights out of me and I would take every step to protect myself in future, and hence any new partners will be protected from HSV-1 shouldnt they have it already.
To be honest, Im feeling a little ripped off as the chances of getting it there would have been almost impossible if I had of got it on the mouth!
Oh about your post... (sorry but needed to have a whinge!) How did the doctor make his diagnosis? Because a blood test would show up HSV-1 on any part of the body, not just the genitals.
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Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
