Going crazy with concern

[trytolearn]

Hello...I have a concern and questions regarding my situation. I have oral hsv1 and my boyfriend has both hsv. He is on suppressive medication.

1. from what I gather since you dont know when someone is shedding, any time can be risky for unprotected sex. But the risk would be lower for oral sex on me as opposed to oral sex on him since he has genital. (no outbreaks ever though)

2. condoms dont cover everything so even with them, there is a risk. Correct?

3. Ive heard you can contaminate yourself in a different area if you have an outbreak. Could my boyfriend give me genital hsv 1 from oral sex? or he touches himself than touches my genitals?

4. If 80-90% of people that have genital herpes do not know it, how can there be statistics that prove what you read on the forums?

5. does stoking an infected mans penis cause shedding to occur?

Thank you for your help.

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

No, it is a new risk with each sexual encounter, not a cumulative risk.  

If you gave him unprotected oral sex, there is a very small chance you could get his HSV 2 orally, but you would probably never know it because it would either by asymptomatic or look just like a cold sore.

Yes, intercourse is friction, that's kind of the point!  And for some people friction can trigger outbreaks, but certainly not everyone.  And there's a difference between having intercourse for 20 minutes vs. 3 hours.  

Terri

[trytolearn]

Thanks Terri

Now I dont want to sound ignorant just need to clarify. 3% a year means 3% each year, not like 3% then two years together goes to 6% etc. right?

In our situation then, there would be a higher risk for me giving him unprotected oral?

Also, if extended friction could cause shedding... wouldnt intercourse count as friction, therefore now making it more a risk the next time? Obviously, I am a worrier, but Im TRYING to be rational about this.

Thank you so much for you help.  

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

With both condoms and medicine, the risk is around 3% in a year, a 97% chance, having sex twice a week, that you would not get infected.

Compatible partners are hard to come by.  In my mind, the risk, if you are very happy with him, is probably worth it.

Terri

[trytolearn]

Hi Terri

His test results were >5 for both herpes.

So, only 30% protection with condoms? What about with suppressive therapy (acyclivor 400 mg twice daily)? How much risk would I be taking with both therapy and condoms??

I really care about him and need to know if i should take these risks.

Thanks Terri!

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

1.  That is correct.  He could be infectious to you at any time.  The risk of him giving you oral sex is very low since you already have HSV 1 and are really unlikely to get it now at a new loction.  

2. Condoms reduce the risk of transmission by 30%, so yes, there is still risk

3.  It would be very unlikely to get HSV 1 at a new place, either from him or from yourself.

4.  The statistics come from studies where large numbers of people are tested for antibody to HSV 2, first asking people if they have ever had genital herpes.  For those who test positive for HSV 2 but deny any history, they are infected but don't know it (80-90% of those infected.)

5.  Stroking a penis probably doesn't cause shedding to occur, though extended friction in some people can be a trigger for viral reactivation.

What was the numeric value associated with your boyfriend's test results, do you know, especially for HSV 2?

Terri