HSV-1 disclosure

[ceej1985]

I'm probably going to get a lot of mixed reactions with this question, but I think it's a fair question. I've done a lot of research on genital HSV-1 since I was diagnosed. I'm talking, HOURS. From everything I've gathered, it's a fair statement to say that genital HSV-1 is much rarer than genital HSV-2 and oral HSV-1. So transmittal rates are extremely low.

Now, can't people with genital HSV-1 "get around" disclosing to their partners by just saying they have the oral HSV-1 virus? It's literally the exact same virus, only different location, and oral HSV-1 is easier to transmit so quite honestly they should be more frightened by that (funny how it works...).

Now, I guess it depends on whether or not you feel you could "sleep at night", but really from all I've gathered it seems like if I did have oral HSV-1, I'd have more of a chance giving genital HSV-1 to my partner, than I would with my genital HSV-1 status. So, in the event that my partner WERE to breakout from HSV-1 after being with me, we could just say it must have been after I gave him oral sex.

Sneaky, I know, but doesn't it make sense? People must do this a lot...

Also, I noticed on herpes dating sites, there are very few people with genital HSV-1, which leads me to believe a lot of people with this don't disclose. I really feel like it's unnecessary, as long as you're telling them you have HSV-1. I'd like to get anyone's thoughts on this.

[ceej1985]

I was just thinking that, as long as they know I have HSV1, that's all they need to know. People who are blood-typed for HSV1 don't know which they type they have, and in most cases it's oral, which has a greater chance of being passed on then genital. I feel like it's a no-brainer. People with gHSV1 are driving themselves crazy when really it's the oHSV1 people who should be worried about passing it on.

[yi3o8]

So this is pretty loose logic, I never try to be assertive when it comes to other peoples' lives but rationalizing something like this is akin to saying that since most people have HSV 1 anyway and don't know about it... I can just avoid telling partners about it.

In the end it's your choice. Do you really want to make someone else, that you may care about, go through what you have? Still, I would totally understand if you didn't want this to ruin any possibilities so consider your options. Taking a little while to make sure you've found someone special, and then explaining that with condoms and antivirals low risk is super low MIGHT be an option.

Since you're asking it shows that you care in the first place :) hope my rambling at least gets you thinking you don't HAVE to follow any specific plan... just be careful and let the rest decide itself