How longt does it take to accept the fact that I have herpes?

40+ female, was only sextually active for less than a year with the same person I trust in the past 10 years, and I got herpes from him. diagnosed last summer, still having hard time accepting it.

haven't had obvious outbreak for about 7 months, then last month and this month, OB came with the period.

My questions:

1. Can someone tell me how long is it going to take to accept and live with this disease?

2. Do I need to get on medication?

[gracefromHHP]

a well done study a few years back showed that folks who had issues with depression and low self esteem from a new herpes diagnosis, all were back to their baseline within 6 months of being diagnosed.  Don't hesitate to follow up with a professional to talk about your feelings and work through them as best you can if it's been 7months and you are still having a hard time dealing with your herpes diagnosis. Life is far too short to let your herpes keep you from enjoying life to the fullest so get someone to help you work through this :)  

totally up to you if you want to go on daily suppressive therapy or not. if you get another ob next month, certainly return to be seen and get properly tested for yeast and bacterial infections vaginally too since both of those are often an issue with frequent recurrences.

grace

[reallyupset]

Thank you, Grace, for your reply.

I was tested positive for both types from IGG test last summer. Never did swab test when having an OB because of difficulty of getting an appointment.

The first time I noticed OB is 2008 summer, there was one spot close to pubic hair, I didn’t see blister, just red bump, watery, burning, then healed in like 2 weeks. It happened a few times afterwards with 2 or 3 months interval. That spot hasn’t come back again for over a year.

What happens is: Since last summer, once in a while, a little bit itchy, burning, but very very mild, can be totally ignored, I thought I was ok, maybe it is not HSV.

So I did another IGG test last month, again both types positive. Now I’m totally sure that I have HSV.

Then, due to not eating much and intake of alcohol two days in a row to deal with stress, the symptoms came back last month at the end of period and this month with the period. What I see are redness on inside the vagina wall, tiny little bumps, burning, not much discharge. I have nerve pain in my head every time I had OB, and I feel I have fever, but not showing when checked. This head and fever feeling accompanies OB every time.  

Grace, is this typical HSV symptom？

For sure, I’m not going to get sexually active. But I’m thinking of going on medication to stop the OB to make myself feel better since the presence of OB is a good catalyst for tears and low low mood.

Grace, can those drugs completely stop the ob or just reduce occurrences?

Thank you.

[gracefromHHP]

you certainly need to go and be tested to see if you have a yeast or bacterial vaginal infection going on. your current symptoms you are having sound more like vaginitis than your herpes reocurring.

daily suppressive therapy reduces ob's and shedding. for more info, read the free herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com. it's filled with terrific info!

[reallyupset]

Thank you Grace.

BTW, I forgot to tell you, my anal ring is also red and burning this month and last month, doc did a swab test last month when the symptom was almost gone, and they didn`t find herpes.

It has been over 10 days and the symptoms are gradually dying down. I think I`m going to do a swab test next time it happens.

Should I go to the doc office the first moment I feel the tingling or should I wait for the redness to appear?

[funkdooby]

HOLY COW!  Do I know what you're dealing with.  I've been married to the same man for 18 years and have never slept with ANYONE else...and I've just contracted herpes from him.  Now...it's the form that causes cold sores (I've contracted it vaginally and on my anus) which he struggles with OFTEN, sit it wasn't really a surprise that it may happen eventually.  Doesn't make it easier to swallow though.  No matter how often I'm told that it will be much less mild than the normal form of vaginal herpes...I still can't get myself to even SAY the word without feeling like I want to crawl under a damn rock!

You keep yourself clean all your life...and you make a point of being "good" so that you DON'T contract such a virus...and BOOM  it happens anyway.  My husbands guilt is terrible too. :(

I'm going to tell you...when you go to the doctor for a formal diagnosis...it's not fun but you HAVE to do it.  They will put you on an oral medication after they do a blood test to confirm the virus in your system.  

Good luck, doll.  I know it sucks, but there is life after the fact.  I chose to forgive my husband...well...because it takes two to tango and sometimes ya step on someone's foot by mistake.  

[gracefromHHP]

when you were seen last, did they test you for yeast and bacterial infections vaginally?  really everything you have been describing sounds like something non-herpes going on currently. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that everything that goes on below your waist is because of your herpes. so many other things that cause us issues too.

[funkdooby]

I would like to add...my OB told me that they won't let me in the office if I have a flare up.  I had to get my tests done through my family doctor.  
I don't know if that's normal for an OB...

[gracefromHHP]

genital herpes is not contagious to others unless you are having sex with them. there is absolutely no reason why your obgyn wouldn't let you into the office with an active herpes ob.  

grace

[reallyupset]

Hi Grace,

last month, the doc did the swab, but didn`t find herpes since it was almost like going on for 10 days. I used yeast infection stuff, vaginal pill and wipes and cream at that time, it not only didn`t help, but but made the burning worse. And also the redness on vaginal wall, the skin is open and not the whole vagina, mostly the two sides on the bottom, the whole bottom area is red, but there are redder spots than other, and the redder spots`s skin is open. I will see if I can get a doc appointment monday to get tested, but this time, it has also been over 10 days. still having nerve pain in my head and feeling like fever.

[reallyupset]

Thank you for sharing.  

I have only been with 2 men in my whole life, and now I end up with this. I especially asked him before we got intimate if he is STD free. he said yes. And all his reaction after we broke up and when I told him about this infection shows that he has always known he has herpes. He has been with many women. When I ask him to get tested, he is always busy.

I`m trying to get my mind off this, but can`t do that for long. It jumps back to my head right away. Just can`t help feeling weak, upset, hopeful, dirty and all the negitives.

I don`t want to die alone, I still want to be with someone if i can find that person in my lifetime, how am I going to tell if that really happens. Even if there is someone who can accept this, but I can still give it to others.

I know I should only think positive, and that is the only way out, but it is really hard. I need to build a stronger mind. I hope it will get better. I want to live a long life to see my son grow up and get married and have his family.

I will try to take baby steps, hopefully my timeline will be shorter.

Let`s get stronger together and let`s hope they will find a cure in our lifetime!