How to get tested for HSV-1?

I had my first cold sore when I was 16.  I never fully forget about asymptomatic shedding, and it weighs down on my mind whenever I have to share utensils.  I feel like a walking germ factory, even when I don't have any symptoms (I have an outbreak around once every 1-2 years).

Now I'm in my first relationship with a wonderful guy, and we're both virgins.  We both have no STDS.  I performed unprotected oral sex on him twice (I have had no symptoms in the two weeks before and after), and only afterwards found out that oral-genital herpes is possible.  Now that I know, I feel immensely guilty, hurt, and stupid.  I never told him I was HSV-1 positive before kissing.  I feel horrible.

I've been going crazy from guilt and regret the last few days.  There are a lot of questions I have, but I'll try to put them below in some way that makes sense:

1) How quickly do HSV-1 genital infection symptoms occur after exposure?
2) Where can I get tested for HSV-1?  Should he get tested as well?
-->I know I should be getting the serological test, since right now I have no symptoms.  But do I just go to my local physician for this? Can I go to a walk-in clinic?
3) Will I always have to use condoms for oral sex from now on, even if I have no symptoms?  Should I go to see a doctor with him, and discuss what we should do?
4) How should I tell him?  I'm really scared he'll leave me.  I think if situations were reversed, I might have done that.


I feel selfish and stressed.  It feels like the end of the world for me.

[gracefromHHP]

you already know you have hsv1 orally because you get cold sores. You are a virgin so you know you don't have hsv2. there's really no reason for you to get tested at all for herpes.

If your partner doesn't recall ever having any obvious cold sores then he can get a hsv1 igg blood test to see what his status is ( since he's also a virgin, save a buck or two and only get tested for hsv1 ).  

if your partner is hsv1-, discuss together if you feel that using condoms when you perform oral on him is what you both want to do. It's totally between the two of you what precautions you take other than not performing oral on him when you have active cold sores present.

just be open and honest with him.  http://www.ashastd.org/herpes/herpes_learn_oralherpes.cfm  is a terrific link for more reading for the both of you too.

grace

[missmei]

Thank you Grace.  Your answers bring me a lot of hope.

I still have one more question:

Where should he get tested for hsv?  I hear there's a test called HerpeVac.  Will his doctor be able to administer it to him, or does he have to shop around?

[gracefromHHP]

the herpevac is a vaccine trial that is no longer active.    I believe you probably meant the herpeselect igg blood test?

Your partner's provider can order the type specific herpes igg blood test for him.

Pretty much if you transmitted hsv1 to his genital area, symptoms will occur within a week or two of the oral sex act. No obvious symptoms then you know he didn't contract it genitally from you.

grace