I can't seem to shake the "wow I really have it" thought.

I was diagnosed a year ago with HSV-2 .  I fell into a deep depression after that. I'm doing a lot better than I was, although still battling depression and anxiety. But it seems no matter what I do, I can't get over the fact it's with me forever. I haven't told anyone. The only people who know are my family and the people involved in the incident. I don't know how to tell people, not that I'm going to run around screaming "hey I have herpes!" The incident that caused this, and this virus has just got me so scared to be close to anyone. I feel like, I'm no good to anyone. I mean, how am I going to tell someone I want a relationship with that I have this? Its hard enough to trust people, this just makes it worse. How do you cope with this?

[gracefromHHP]

have you talked to a professional at all about all of this?

grace

[kimbo92]

As far as the tests for it, yes I have. However, I've been too embarassed to bring up any of my concerns at all.

[gracefromHHP]

I meant like a therapist or a counselor?

[justsmile7]

Hey Kimbo92- I havent posted on this board in awhile, but I decided to log in and reply to your post.

First of all, make sure you were testing properly and that your results are confirmed to be above the false positive range of results.

Second- It has been about a year from my diagnosis. The incident surrounding all of this came from my ex boyfriend (person who was my best friend since grade school) who was cheating on me with prostitutes. It completely devestated me.

The first six months were horrific for me. Luckily, during that time I had support of my parents, brother, and close best friends. Most importantly, I told the guy I was newly dating, who I also dated a few years prior, and he was completely beyond excepting. His unconditional love is what got me through it. Sometimes it takes something devestating to happen to realize who really is there for you in your life. I know of a few other girls who have hsv 2 and genital hsv 1 and one is married and just had a baby and the other is in a serious relationship.

THIS IS WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO: you cant sweat the small stuff in life.. herpes is so stupid and completely blown out of proportion like many other diseases. The social stigma is horrible..and i cant believe at one time i was someone who was ignorant to believe it. There isnt a day that passes where i dont think about "having it" I still get worried that Im gonna pass it to my boyfriend everytime we have sex and i hate having to worry about that. I hate that when a guy hits on me when im working to work, or at a bar with gfs I think to myself, "if he only new i had herpes he wouldnt be talking to me"...I hoping those thoughts will go away eventually.  It takes time, but most importantly, it is what you do what your time that heals. So enjoy life, speak to a psychologist (that helped me), focus on things/ people who are important to you.

If you ever want to talk, you can message me. Best of Luck, and remember, it doesnt make u who you are, sit back and think how it is effecting your life physically. is it really?
You are what you believe you are.

[gracefromHHP]

Terrific post!!  glad to see you coming back to share with others :)

grace