encourage him to post his results here in a post on the forum if he never has so that we can be sure that he was properly tested and to make sure he doesn't need additional confirmatory testing. you can even put the info in this post if you want too.
if you had a hpv infection a few years ago and are testing negative for it now, no reason to be concerned . most hpv infections clear themselves from the body within 2 years. did they repeat your hpv dna testing or are they only going by negative pap tests for you?
you've had hsv1 ob's confirmed by culture on other body parts?
if he's not willing to do all he can to protect you from his hsv2, I'd rethink this man as a partner to be honest.
As for moral aspect, im somewhat concerned with his lax attitude about it. He wants to have unprotected sex and refuses to take an antiviral. He doesnt seem concerned about learning about hpv or contracting it. The hsv1 is such a minor deal and so common, i think i would be fairly safe if i met someone who just has hpv. i was diagnosed with hsv1 from a genital ob but its appeared on my hands and other places. I take the antivral when that happens.
And youre correct, we are past the age to get the hpv vaccination.
Wow thanks Grace, very helpful. He says he has never had an ob, diagnosed from a blood test only. I was diagnosed from an abnornal pap, high risk. I had a leap procedure done and have had normal paps for a few years. However i have noticed warts on my and my previous partners bodies since then. I just can't bring myself to voluntarily take the risk of passing something between us without some sort of protection.
be sure to ask how he was diagnosed as having hsv2. make sure it was a lesion culture that was typed for hsv2 and not a non-typed culture that was assumed to be hsv2 since genital or worse yet a visual diagnosis
Herpes antivirals don't trigger ob's for the vast majority of folks. Since his taking daily suppressive therapy would cut your risk in half - it's well worth his being on them. if you were to contract hsv2, you would have more recurrences and it's more of an issue for transmission to future partners than your current genital hsv1 is.
does washing up reduce transmission? no it does not. herpes does not lay on the skin to work its way into the body over time.
does he need to use a dental dam to perform oral on you? no he does not. your hsv1 genital infection isn't an issue.
do you need to have protected oral sex with him? only if you want to. if he takes daily suppressive therapy, there's only a tiny risk that you'd get it orally ( even a tiny risk even if he doesn't actually ).
so what are your risks? if you do nothing but avoid sex any time he has anything going on genitally, you are 90-92% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from him. if he also takes suppressive therapy and you use condoms, it increases your odds so that you are 96-97% likely each year not to contract hsv2 from him on average.
as for your hpv - when did you have it? was it obvious warts or an abnormal pap? if it was an abnormal pap, was it high risk or low risk? I'm assuming neither of you were able to get gardasil shots due to your age :(
grace
Also, what is the probability of him getting an outbreak from taking an antiviral and how much does it really help reduce risk?