Please help me determine how likely it is I spread to male

[anniesmall1979]

Forgive me if details ae not relevant.  I want to include anything that may be signifigant.

3 days ago I had a horrible lapse of judgement.  When I woke up I noticed a small sore (not open) on my outer vagina lip.  I was diagnosed with herpes about 5 years ago.  Im not sure which type (1 or 2).  I take the generic valtrex (not sure of exact name, do not have presciption with me) during breakouts only.  The morning I noticed the sore, I took 3 pills that day.  Late that night I drank too much and did a horrible thing.  I had sex.  The guy used a condom, but since this sore was not inside my vagina I worry I have spread herpes to him if it touched his pubic hair region.  Also during sex he changed condoms.  I worry changing the condom may have caused him to put some of the fluid on his penis.  I am worried sick and have such bad anxiety that I am having trouble breathing.  Im not sure if it matters, buth both of us have unshaven private regions.  I thought it may have acted as a slight barrier?  Not sure. It wasnt particuly rough sex, but his pubic area probably did come in contact with the one sore at some point.  I know what I did was wrong.  I am wondering what do you think the risk level is that I spread herpes to him?  

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

I'm not sure what the exact percentage would be of transmitting to him, I'm sorry, I don't think those numbers are available.  Intercourse is enough skin to skin contact to transmit herpes to him.  The average time from intercourse to symptoms for him would be 5.5 days, but could be as long as 10 days.  Has it been that long yet?  Are you continuing to have sex with him?  Have you thought more about telling him?

Terri

[anniesmall1979]

Please see previous questions. Thank you for the information.

[anniesmall1979]

I have not told him. I feel horrible. I know I need to talk to him now and he will probably hate me. Can you tell me the chances of spreading during an outbreak from one encounter? I'm assuming it is high but I can't find anything concrete on the forums. How much skin to skin contact is needed to spread? Would it be vigorous rubbing of just any contact? If it has been spread, how soon would he probably see symptoms? Thanks for your help in advance :(

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

I think the risk is certainly present for him.  Condoms will reduce the risk of transmission by about 30%.  It is worriesome, yes, but one encounter may not transmit the virus.  I think you are just going to have to wait and see.  Does he know that you have herpes?  Have you discussed this with him since?  What are your thoughts about doing that now?

Terri

[anniesmall1979]

I'm not sure how long it takes to get a response, but please don't forget about me out here. Struggling!