Protected sex, oral not protected (worried sick)

[Quick45]

Ok so last weeken I decided to go over this new chick house. First time meeting her. Before I went I asked about STDS and she said she was clean. I forgot to ask her about herpes though. So we had sex that was protected but like I said the oral sex wasn’t . 2 days after I started to feel itching on my upper inner thigh. It’s no bumps or rashes just some itching from time to time, but this never occurred before the sex. Could this be herpes??? I never had an outbreak before or itching like this. I had sex with my wife after I cheated too . Now I’m worried sick I gave it to her . Please help

[GuitarRox]

I hope that she asked you if you were clean as well as it's not a one way street. But if you asked her if she was 'clean' or std free . . . that incorporates all std's, no? Hsv is included in 'are you clean' or 'std free'. She uses condoms. Which means she also cares about her health from the people she's with like you. Oral sex that is unprotected is very low risk. You are also talking about oral which would be HSV 1 or oral herpes (lips) to genitals. This would not result in hsv2 or genital herpes but a transfer of hsv 1 (oral herpes) to the genitals. Just information for you. Normally an initial outbreak is going to include sores or blisters. We all get itching sometimes. That 'can' be a sign of an outbreak but would think you'd have other symptoms along with it. And itching on your upper and inner thigh is very unlikely to be herpes. VERY unlikely.

[Quick45]

Hello , sorry for late response but I been going back and forth with this person , now I’m the bad guy let her tell it. But this overwhelming :( so yes I’m talking bout hsv2 and like I said I used protection but when we had sex she was on top of me and her thigh or private area could have or would have in fact prob been grinding on my thigh area that I’m talking about right ? I’m so scared because of my wife and family . Don’t want to lose that!  Still haven’t seen any bumps or rashes in the area I’m talking about  but still itching on and off. Some leg pain and pain around that area too. Could this be all in my head since I don’t see any bumps or rashes or clusters or could I really have herpes without the bumps or clusters. How soon can I test and what test should I do?  Please help me understand this more

[auntiejessi]

This sounds a lot like anxiety and guilt, and a hyper focus on the area because of guilt.

IF she has hsv2, the chances that you'd get that over the course of a year if all you did was avoid sex during outbreaks is 4%. If you use condoms, it's 2%.

Since you had sex one time, it's way less than that.

You asked her if she had any STIs, and she said no. In my mind, that would include herpes. You made the decision to have sex with her without seeing any test results, and it's not her fault that you are regretting it.

You can test at 6 weeks and again at 12 weeks with a type specific IgG blood test, but please note that there are false positives on the hsv2 test, and if yours is positive, it can take weeks and hundreds of dollars to unravel. If you don't get sores, my advice is to not test.

Also, don't go outside your marriage. Your anxiety can't handle it.