Risk of getting Herpes2 genitial from infected partner

Hello,  

I am a 33 year old female with no STDs.  I recently started seeing someone who has told me he has genital herpes which he contracted when he was 25 (he's 32 now).  He takes VALTREX to control it and has not had an outbreak in almost a year. My questions: 1. Using a condom, what are the odds of getting herpes from him outside of any outbreaks?  2. What about oral sex? Is there any way to protect myself if I perform it on him?  

I don't know what to do--if we were married or heading to engagement it would be worth the risk, outside of that, I don't know because I don't know what the likelihood is of catching it.   Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[petal130]

It's up to you, but I can't imagine ending a relationship based on herpes. There are so many other things that can send a relationship south, and managing herpes is an easy one. It's nothing more than a pesky skin condition.

Here are the stats for male to female transmission rates:

MALE TO FEMALE TRANSMISSION RATES (HSV 2 ONLY STATS IS NOT APPLICABLE FOR HSV 1) If you have 100 couples where the male has HSV 2 but not the female (these figures are over a year) the odds of male to female transmission are if you do nothing (other than avoid sex when there is an outbreak) 8-10 females out of a 100 will get herpes in a year, or 8-10%. If you do go on a suppressive therapy then it drops to 4-5 females out of a 100 in a year or 4-5%, and if you use suppressive therapy and a condom the chances are 2-3 females out of a 100 will get herpes in one year, or 2-3%.

The Valtrex and transmission study stats are based on having sex 2 times/week.

[Caprica9876]

Thank you petal130, this is really, really useful info.  Random question - is there any advantage/extra protection for the partner NOT infected to go on suppressive therapy as well such as Valtrex?

[petal130]

Valtrex is strictly for the person who has herpes. There is no drug available as a preventative for someone who's herpes negative.

You can read more about genital herpes, and watch a counseling video here at this website:

http://www.westoverheights.com/genital_herpes/handbook/view_the_chapters.html

[Caprica9876]

Thank you!