I understand your concern and confusion.
Chances are really good that he has oral hsv1, and gave you ghsv1 when giving you oral sex. Ghsv1 almost never transmits without an outbreak, so if he's never had one, it's almost certain that he has it orally.
This only matters because it helps you know where he has it. It's not impossible that he'd ever get it genitally, but it's really, really unlikely.
Most of the time, when we say avoid sex during an outbreak, it's because you're most contagious at that time, and also because depending on where your outbreaks are, it might hurt.
Your partner has antibodies that will help prevent him from getting hsv1 in another location, but if you have sex during an outbreak, there is a small chance that he would get it genitally.
I wouldn't worry about the time leading up to the outbreak or just after as much - you aren't as contagious then, and he has antibodies.
How frequently are you getting outbreaks? It's not unusual to get them more frequently at first, but make sure you don't have a secondary infection like bacterial vaginosis (if you have a vagina) or yeast, or another STD. Those can keep herpes really active.
You can also try antivirals, like Valtrex, for a few months until things calm down.