I think that herpes is more difficult for people whose identity is closely tied to their sexuality.
Just for the record, 90% of those infected with HSV 2 don't know they have it, so don't be too hard on her if it turns out she didn't know she had herpes. And also, we aren't sure she's the one, right?
Terri
Thanks, You must be very dedicated to this cause to work on Thanksgiving. God Bless You
I appreciate your comments. I just feel so helpless. I made it through the 80s when herpes was considered "aids", now nearing 50 and have to deal with this. For reasons prob related to childhood I put a lot of my self worth on sexuality even though I am more than that.
On #4 we were unprotected. I hate the thought of this stuff possibly eating my lips off!
I care for this person but I would be upset to think she knew she had it (if she does). I guess I have to give the ben of doubt that she doesnt know like she said. Ill let you know the outcome of her test.
1. Yes, that is most likely, though not for sure. I would advise that past partners, including this one, get IgG antibody testing for HSV 2.
2. That's possible, but not too likely with 10 blisters.
3. Usually
4. Did you have unprotected vaginal intercourse?
5. No, there is no indication of old vs. new if her HSV 2 antibody test is negative.
6. If you're both infected, you can have sex whenever its comfortable for both of you. You can't infect each other "more" nor cause it to be more severe.
7. Yes, daily therapy is certainly an option, particularly if your current partner is NOT infected, then it would be essential! You can go ahead and use it daily if you just want to do it for your own reasons, you don't have to have a certain number of outbreaks .
8. I would agree that it is absurd. My frustration at this situation has gone on for years and years. It is very difficult, I would agree. No one goes through an STD screen at my clinic without herpes testing, unless they specifically decline or tell me they already have herpes. Anything else, in my opinion, is unacceptable.
You're wrong that you won't ever be the same. You will, if you allow yourself to be the same. Do you really think a virus that occurs on your penis infrequently, particularly with daily medicine, will change the essence of who you are? I think not. You are who you are, hold on to that. This is a setback, not a catastrophe unless you decide that it is.
Get your partner tested, I'm putting my money on her being infected and not knowing it. Let me know how it goes, OK?
Terri