Tested positive but confused about how I contracted it

[IsItOverNow]

Ok, so here's the deal in sequential order:

1. I tested negative for everything in 2008. I've only experienced genital issues including a couple of bacterial, yeast and UT infections in my life.
2. I was monogamous (unprotected) for a yr but had 2 UTIs w/in this timeframe (which was odd but I just thought it was sensitivity to new soap)
3. After that relationship ended I began dating again in July 2009 so I got tested for everything again and was negative. I had sex with one person (protected and unprotected) with no problems the first few times but last month had an outbreak that was confirmed as HSV-2 IgG 5.4 and was told I must have had HSV-1 at some point (which was news to me).

I told my partner what I learned and that he should get tested. Because I blamed him and felt he had lied to me about his health, I stopped talking to him. Well, he just called me today to tell me his results were negative. I am soooo confused now! I don't know if he was telling the truth but this is now making me question WHERE/HOW I contracted this. The only other guy I dated and was merely intimate with only involved kissing and his hand to my genitals. Is it possible to have gotten this disease from that??? If not from these two people, could I have had this prior to 2008 and never had an outbreak or tested positive???

I have become so depressed and self-conscious that I feel like I have to hang up my desires to remarry and have kids. I don't mean to sound ignorant but I feel so tainted and embarrassed. I wouldn't even know when or how to confess this news if I find someone special. I'm a very upfront and honest person and feel like if I say firsthand "Hey I have Herpes" they will run; but if I wait until I can trust them and we are interested in making a future then they may feel like I tricked/trapped them. I've taken a vow of celibacy (no secret) since I cannot even fathom having sex with this disease! I've read quite a bit online and have heard different stories but now that I have this, I can't help but think "What now"? What hope should I have?

[IsItOverNow]

Thanks!

[gracefromHHP]

if you read our read before posting post on this forum you'll see that we request you just keep adding new questions/comments to your original post instead of making a new one each time. thank you for your future cooperation with this.

From your other post :

Questions:

My DR gave Valtrex subscription and $50/bottle is expensive for me (Blue Cross/Blue Shield). Is there an alternative?

- valtrex will be going generic the end of this month.  give your insurance a call and ask them if it'll be cheaper for you then. if not, call your provider and ask for acyclovir.


Do I need to take daily or only when I feel an outbreak coming on?  
For future reference, what type of protection would now be best for vaginal and oral sex?
Can I pass it on through saliva?

- the herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com is a free resource and answers all 3 of these questions and more for you :)


I was told my results had to be reported to CDC. Does this mean that anyone can search me in their records?

- most states do not report herpes infections but no, your results are confidential and no one can find out that you have herpes if you do live where they report herpes infections.

grace

[gracefromHHP]

Well evidently your herpes wasn't negative at that time that they told you you had hsv1.  No way to know if you were properly tested then or not with a type specific test unless you ask to see your results.

Statistically 1 out of every 2-3 adults in the US has hsv1 orally. It's incredibly common but only 20-40% of folks get obvious cold sores to know that they are infected.  Unless proven otherwise, assume your hsv1 infection is oral.  

If you want to know if your last partner lied to you or not, ask him if he'd get a copy of his blood test results to share with you.  Easiest way to prove or disprove your thoughts on that one.  

grace

[IsItOverNow]

When I tested in July '09, I requested the results and it was negative for everything including Herpes. But the nurse put notes that I must have had HSV-1 cold sores at some point in my life.

I've never had cold sores! My mother has had cold sores on her lips and I remember dating a guy in high school that had them, but I've never had any such thing.

I'm pretty sure that the guy I was dating this year gave it to me and is just lying! I am somewhat of a hypochondriac and am always inspecting my body. I would have known if I had something to be suspicious of before. What are the chances that I would have unprotected sex with him and 2 days later, feel burning urination, muscle tingles, and genital irritation (things I've NEVER felt before)? Ugggh @ him lying to me  (sorry, just venting)

[gracefromHHP]

I'd get a copy of your blood test results from july 09 to make sure that you were actually tested for herpes at that point and how. it's typically not a part of routine std testing so make sure that you really were tested then and what the results were.

grace

[Verysaddude]

My suggestion would be to link up with other people who have it...either in a group setting or on the internet...when I first contracted it I was suicidal but after talking with people (some people I met on this board actually) it got easier to deal with...its not the end and you're not alone....

As far as how you contracted it, its highly unlikely would have got it from his hand on your genitals...but its tough to tell where you got it from because this virus is tricky and there are so many variables...your ex could have given it to you..or this most recent guy could be lying...don't waste time worrying about that because it won't change anything...

I'm fairly new to this as well, so if you ever want to chat and talk thru it..., send me a message anytime...