How do u deal with Herpes?

[Sheenr]

I have been more than careful to prevent STD's I always wear a condom and I don't sleep around and in fact I have been so scared of herpes I literally freak out...well I think I attracted that in my life cause I am having symptoms...I just got back from the doctor's and he suspects it being herpes!! so he sent a sample away...I am devistated beyond be.belief but at the same time I have prepared for myself for so many years that I think it is my own fault that I have it..I met an amazing man and I am afraid of telling him that I might have this and therefore I told him I can't have sex right now...now .I am afraid no man will want me knowing I have this...I feel so alone and sad...can anyone relate to me and tell me their stories? I need to know that I am not alone! Thank You!!

Sheena

[daisy315]

Feel free to send me a message anytime,I understand how difficult it is for you at the moment but it does get easier,don't beat yourself up about it,in time you will come to realise it's not the big deal you think it is right now.

Daisy

[Sheenr]

Thank you guys for the support...this is my first outbreak and it HURTS! I am currently taking Valtrex until further notice...but I am having every symptom in the book that it's herpes..still in shock after being soooo careful not to get it over the years...sorry to hear that u guys have to go through this too...I wanna keep in touch with u guys.

[BigSlick]

You are most certainly not alone Sheena.  I was devasted, like most people, when I found out as well.  Worst of all I was given it purposely by a girl as she was attempting to trap me into a commited relationship.  That pretty much turned me off of dating for quite a while.  when I started attempting to date again, the big problem was always trying to break it to my partner that i have HSV.  Ive had quite a few different reactions.

one girl wouldnt sleep with me and decided it was her duty to tell everyone she knew about what I had.  Like I was some sort of public health concern that the whole city needed to know about.  that was fun.  a couple others didnt care at all and were very happy that I was honest about it.  Another girl told me right before we were about to have sex that she had HSV2... what a relief.  and my latest girl friend told me she had HSV1 right after I told her I have HSV.

So, be choosy about your partners and be honest.  I now really get to know the type of person they are before saying anything about my condition.  If they care at all about you, they will understand.  and who knows... they might be having the same problem telling you about their own condition.....

1 in 3 has HSV...  thats ALOT of people!  so dont be too worried.  in time you will see that its not the end of anything at all.

Best wishes and positive thoughts for you Sheena.  

[daisy315]

You are most certainly not alone,I too was always very scared of STD's but we are all vulnerable at one time or other throughtout our lives and if no one made mistakes then no one would be here on this Forum.
Herpes is a skin condition and should be thought about as such,however when someone has been tested and is positive for either HSV1 or HSV2 great care has to be taken not to pass it to anyone else,this does not mean an end to your sex life or in fact falling in love,getting married or having children,with simple safety measures to avoid transmission like using a condom and avoiding sex during outbreaks Herpes is manageable within a relationship and should not be a reason to end one.
Telling someone is the difficult part because we never know what reaction we may get due to the stigma attached particularly to HSV2 which is why you should take time to read over the westoverheights handbook it has a lot of very useful and helpful information and also contains a section on how to tell your partner.

Daisy
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