I contracted genital herpes more than 20 years ago, but I never had a blood test to determine the type. From frequent monthly outbreaks, I would say I now have outbreaks one-to-four times a year, although I've gone for years without an outbreak. I recently began seeing someone and am concerned about the possibility of asymptotic transmission to him. I also need to educate him about the risk of transmission so he can make decisions about whether he wants to be intimate with me. When I was not sexually active, I attempted to control outbreaks with home remedies such as L-lysine. But now that I am seeing someone and want to have sex, I took my first dose of Valtrex, which my doctor has prescribed in a 500 milligram daily dose.
I want to take anti-virals to reduce transmission risk, and I will practice safe sex with condom use. Do all anti-virals reduce transmission risk, or is Valtrex the only one as is claimed by the manufacturer? Do I risk damage to my kidneys if I take this drug at a 500 milligram dose daily for long term use and is it effective long term? (I understand the study was for eight months, so there is no information on long-term effect after a year on Valtrex. What about other anti-virals? Since they have more track history, I wonder if I should switch to pill that's been out longer, as long as it also will reduce transmission risk?)
What does the research show on the reduction of asymptotic shedding of the virus with the use of Valtrex. I need this information to provide facts to my partner. I saw something somewhere in my hours of research on the Internet that researchers think 5 percent of time shedding occurs without Valtrex and it is reduced to 2.5 percent, but I don't think those numbers are quite accurate and can't locate that place again. Is there literature that will give me very specific and factoid-heavy information on this subject?
Finally, I would love for my partner to feel he can let himself go with me and love me all over my body. Right now he feels inhibited by fear of contracting herpes. I don't know how he will feel if I'm taking Valtrex because I can never tell him there is absolutely no risk that he would contract the disease despite condom use and my hyper-carefulness any time I feel a twinge, lower back pain, or an overwhelming urge to take a nap combined with the other symptoms that it is coming on.
Supposing he does feel okay about sexual penetration with condom, oral sex and touching my genitals poses an issue for him. I don't think I could bring myself to enjoy oral sex with a dental dam. (I don't get cold sores, so I haven't been concerned about giving him or other men herpes from oral sex, but I plan to get a blood test to better understand the type of herpes I have, etc., which may answer the question from whom I received it and maybe not from the boyfriend I blamed when the outbreaks were so frequent. He said he didn't have it, but I'm not sure there were blood tests back then. I wasn't offered one.) If I take Valtrex in a suppressive daily dose, what are the risks that my partner will contract oral herpes from performing oral sex on me? Do I need to say, Hey, let's wash our hands! after it's all over if he touches my genitals during sex in order to avoid him transmitting it to himself? If he touches me and then himself, does he risk transmission to his genitals (assuming I'm taking Valtrex in daily dose). Would sex be so complicated that I will have worn myself out worrying about it before we even get there and lose this opportunity for a meaningful intimacy? Will a bottle of antibiotic ointment on the nightstand, one of those new clear jelly sort of kinds, rubbed on hands after sex, kill the stray herpes virus that might have gotten onto our hands during sex? If I touch my genitals, his lips, his penis, and his anus, might I spread my curse all over his precious body? Help!