Aa
Any ideas on how to tell a partner?
Anyone have any experiences that have worked well? Obviously it depends on the person, but am curious. I definitely have a rejection fear, but feel the need to be honest.
My initial thought is to just sit the person down, explain it and show them this website.
My initial thought is to just sit the person down, explain it and show them this website.
My story:
I have dated a bit since my diagnosis, but have not had sex. I don't think the HPV talk is a good first date conversation, but it should be done early in the relationship. Have a few dates to really get to know the person, and then decide if this person is worth a potential long term relationship. If so, then they deserve to know about your infection. For me, if I do not see a lot of potential, I move on pretty early. Talking about HPV isn't easy, and I don't want to tell people about my condition if there is no benifit. This had made me much more selective, as flings are certainly out of the question.
So far, I have told one person. She was supportive and thought that admitting to a risk showed honesty and character on my part. Lets face it, STD rates would be much lower if everybody was honest. The girl I was dating took a pratical viewpoint: that HPV is common, warts are low risk, and people deal with these things all the time. Still, we decided it would be best to take the sexual part of our relationship at a slower pace.
Unfortunately things did not work out between us. We dated for another 6 weeks after the talk, and I don't think HPV played a direct role in the break up.
I guess my advice is to be careful who you tell this to, there are a lot of jerks out there, and gossip can travel fast. I don't want strangers to know me only as the guy with the STD, so I date them for a bit before the conversation. I also feel that it has to come out early enough, so that you don't feel like you are trapping someone, the "if you love really loved me", scenerio.
When telling about HPV, it is important to do it with as much confidence as possible. If you present it as a big deal, it will likely be preceived as one. If it is information you are giving to somebody you respect, it will likely be appriciated. Not everybody will be okay with the news, but that is alright. You are giving them information for their own health and should be satisfied with their decision. If they want more information, suggest they speak to their doctor, or check out websites like the CDC or American Social Health Asscociation. Remember that google searches can produce a lot wrong or dated information.
I have dated a bit since my diagnosis, but have not had sex. I don't think the HPV talk is a good first date conversation, but it should be done early in the relationship. Have a few dates to really get to know the person, and then decide if this person is worth a potential long term relationship. If so, then they deserve to know about your infection. For me, if I do not see a lot of potential, I move on pretty early. Talking about HPV isn't easy, and I don't want to tell people about my condition if there is no benifit. This had made me much more selective, as flings are certainly out of the question.
So far, I have told one person. She was supportive and thought that admitting to a risk showed honesty and character on my part. Lets face it, STD rates would be much lower if everybody was honest. The girl I was dating took a pratical viewpoint: that HPV is common, warts are low risk, and people deal with these things all the time. Still, we decided it would be best to take the sexual part of our relationship at a slower pace.
Unfortunately things did not work out between us. We dated for another 6 weeks after the talk, and I don't think HPV played a direct role in the break up.
I guess my advice is to be careful who you tell this to, there are a lot of jerks out there, and gossip can travel fast. I don't want strangers to know me only as the guy with the STD, so I date them for a bit before the conversation. I also feel that it has to come out early enough, so that you don't feel like you are trapping someone, the "if you love really loved me", scenerio.
When telling about HPV, it is important to do it with as much confidence as possible. If you present it as a big deal, it will likely be preceived as one. If it is information you are giving to somebody you respect, it will likely be appriciated. Not everybody will be okay with the news, but that is alright. You are giving them information for their own health and should be satisfied with their decision. If they want more information, suggest they speak to their doctor, or check out websites like the CDC or American Social Health Asscociation. Remember that google searches can produce a lot wrong or dated information.
to tell sum1 u have hpv...well i did it once since i had this ( couple of months now) and i said to myself b4 i sleep with any1 ill tell them but i was so scared of being look at as nasty or sumthing...but i said i have to tell u sumthing ti serious then i said i have hpv genital warts, tried not to cry but water works started....and he just look at me and said it was ight cus he knew wat it was so i didnt have to explain that much...even though he took it ok....i dont know i started acting weird ( like why was he so ok with it) you know and then relationship ended simply because i was scared and felt ashamed....so...beest thing to do it look at urself and be ok with hte fact that u have it then tell him/her b4 any sex
to tell sum1 u have hpv...well i did it once since i had this ( couple of months now) and i said to myself b4 i sleep with any1 ill tell them but i was so scared of being look at as nasty or sumthing...but i said i have to tell u sumthing ti serious then i said i have hpv genital warts, tried not to cry but water works started....and he just look at me and said it was ight cus he knew wat it was so i didnt have to explain that much...even though he took it ok....i dont know i started acting weird ( like why was he so ok with it) you know and then relationship ended simply because i was scared and felt ashamed....so...beest thing to do it look at urself and be ok with hte fact that u have it then tell him/her b4 any sex
You are reading content posted in the Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Community
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