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Different Strains, different outcomes?
Hi,
I am a 29 year old female who has been in a commited relationship for the past 2.5 years. About a year ago, my boyfriend found gential warts. He got them treated. Since then, I developed my first ever abnormal pap test. The results came back as LSIL. I was told to wait six month for a follow up pap test. My test came back normal (which is great news). My boyfriend however has had to go back to the doctors three more times to have warts removed. The last one as recently as last month. I have never shown signs of genital warts. As I'm sure is common with many couples in this situation, our sex life has become non-existant. Not only that, but all intimacy has stopped. We hardly kiss anymore. Our relationship is seriously strained (for other reasons as well). I am assuming I am a carrier of his strain of HPV and vice versa. My question is this: if we break up, what is the likelihood that I will pass the genital warts on to a new partner? I have anxiety about this as I see another relationship being ruined by this STD. If I haven't developed warts yet myself, is it safe to assume that I have managed to fight that strain off? I've seen that you mention a 6 month time period to no longer transmit, but my doctor suggested three years. I feel that this virus is the thing that pushes my boyfriend and I apart, but at the same time it is what keeps me with him as I am afraid to pass it along to a new partner in the future. Any advice would be great. Thank you so much!
I am a 29 year old female who has been in a commited relationship for the past 2.5 years. About a year ago, my boyfriend found gential warts. He got them treated. Since then, I developed my first ever abnormal pap test. The results came back as LSIL. I was told to wait six month for a follow up pap test. My test came back normal (which is great news). My boyfriend however has had to go back to the doctors three more times to have warts removed. The last one as recently as last month. I have never shown signs of genital warts. As I'm sure is common with many couples in this situation, our sex life has become non-existant. Not only that, but all intimacy has stopped. We hardly kiss anymore. Our relationship is seriously strained (for other reasons as well). I am assuming I am a carrier of his strain of HPV and vice versa. My question is this: if we break up, what is the likelihood that I will pass the genital warts on to a new partner? I have anxiety about this as I see another relationship being ruined by this STD. If I haven't developed warts yet myself, is it safe to assume that I have managed to fight that strain off? I've seen that you mention a 6 month time period to no longer transmit, but my doctor suggested three years. I feel that this virus is the thing that pushes my boyfriend and I apart, but at the same time it is what keeps me with him as I am afraid to pass it along to a new partner in the future. Any advice would be great. Thank you so much!
I would suggest you not live your life in fear. Almost everyone has HPV and in the list of STDs...there is much worse. So why don't you and your bf seek therapy and decide if you want to be together and work on the issues to have a happy life. If that isn't what you both want and are commited to do, then focus on how to move forward to having a happy life with HPV not being the main factor. If you decide to stay together..you both have it, sex is safe between you so relearn how to be intimate and sexual together. If you decide to be single, give yourself time to heal then move forward to find someone that your life together is not based on sex, and once you do decide to be sexual, do it safely.
Thank you very much for your comments. I am fully aware of all of the facts you have listed. I understand that there are no real health risks associated with the genital wart strains of HPV. At this point is it solely the emotional side of things that seems to remain our issue. As is common with many men, my boyfriend does not like to talk about emotions and seems to contribute to our ongoing stress/awkwardness when it comes to our sex life. Having sex less than a handful of times in a year does that to a relationship. He says that this re-occurrences just leaves him "not in the mood". I can understand that, but feel that at some point, like you said, we have to move on. I was nervous about the abnormal cell changes I had (which seem to have returned to normal!) My abnormal pap convinced my friend to have an unscheduled pap (her boyfriend also has warts). Unlike me, she ended up with cervical cancer and had to have a large portion of her cervix removed. I guess I'm fearful of transmitting the same wart strain to a new partner and going through the same thing with him-stop having intimacy etc. I live with my current boyfriend, but feel like we are now roommates and not romantic lovers! I guess its just frustrating that there are no real answers for this stuff. Its different for everyone. Thanks again for your comments.
My advice is to gain as great an understanding of the virus as you can. I recommend that by going to the same doctor, perhaps even together and also I fully recommend spending as much time on this site as you need to for you to discover that HPV and genital warts is nothing much to deal with in the grand scheme of things. I highly recommend you visiting the "Ask An Expert -STDs or -STDs International" forums and perusing the articles you'll find there on HPV. Here's what you will find:
The experts who answer these questions are completely unconcerned about HPV and genital warts. Why? Because it is the single most prevalent STD out there and it is very very rarely medically detrimental. There are almost no actual dangers to having HPV and what little danger there is can be mitigated by having regular pap tests. The vast majority of us will have HPV at some point in our lives. Many of us will never know it though. Men carry around high-risk hpv all the time and since there are no symptoms they never know it and so it get's spread around. Another reason the experts are unconcerned is that it goes away on its own in up to two years in most cases. It is a nuisance as far as they are concerned and their biggest concern is the emotional toll that it takes on those who are diagnosed with it. Just browse any website on HPV for a bit and you will see how unfactual the information is out there. It's sensationalized and the likihood of the possibilities are over hyped.
If you and your boyfriend had a great relationship and still love each other, or did love each other and HPV is the problem, then do whatever it takes to put this in perspective. I would browse the Experts section alone or with him and share the info you discover. Speak frankly about it and know these facts: If you have been having unprotected sex you could very well be infected already. I don't know what LSIL means, but it could mean abnormal cells detected from the low risk HPV which is what he has since he has the wart producing HPV. If you are infected, you cannot be reinfected and you will fight it off and it will be no more as it may be already or it could take up to two years. The same goes for him. Getting oral from kissing is not an issue. Getting warts in your mouth from going down on each other is not super likely either, so you can enjoy the pleasures of oral free from worry. I would if I were you. You need intimacy again. You'll discover perusing this site that oral transmission is not very likely.
Lastly, feel free to spend $20 on the "Ask An Expert" forum yourself and pose your fears and need of information to them. Or perhaps seek counseling. You both are overreacting here (every one who gets HPV overreacts by the way) and this relationship and the sex therein can still be saved. All you need is the correct perspective and some getting on the same page.
The experts who answer these questions are completely unconcerned about HPV and genital warts. Why? Because it is the single most prevalent STD out there and it is very very rarely medically detrimental. There are almost no actual dangers to having HPV and what little danger there is can be mitigated by having regular pap tests. The vast majority of us will have HPV at some point in our lives. Many of us will never know it though. Men carry around high-risk hpv all the time and since there are no symptoms they never know it and so it get's spread around. Another reason the experts are unconcerned is that it goes away on its own in up to two years in most cases. It is a nuisance as far as they are concerned and their biggest concern is the emotional toll that it takes on those who are diagnosed with it. Just browse any website on HPV for a bit and you will see how unfactual the information is out there. It's sensationalized and the likihood of the possibilities are over hyped.
If you and your boyfriend had a great relationship and still love each other, or did love each other and HPV is the problem, then do whatever it takes to put this in perspective. I would browse the Experts section alone or with him and share the info you discover. Speak frankly about it and know these facts: If you have been having unprotected sex you could very well be infected already. I don't know what LSIL means, but it could mean abnormal cells detected from the low risk HPV which is what he has since he has the wart producing HPV. If you are infected, you cannot be reinfected and you will fight it off and it will be no more as it may be already or it could take up to two years. The same goes for him. Getting oral from kissing is not an issue. Getting warts in your mouth from going down on each other is not super likely either, so you can enjoy the pleasures of oral free from worry. I would if I were you. You need intimacy again. You'll discover perusing this site that oral transmission is not very likely.
Lastly, feel free to spend $20 on the "Ask An Expert" forum yourself and pose your fears and need of information to them. Or perhaps seek counseling. You both are overreacting here (every one who gets HPV overreacts by the way) and this relationship and the sex therein can still be saved. All you need is the correct perspective and some getting on the same page.
One idea is that you and your boyfriend should forgive each other and stick together for a long term relationship. Rationale, since you've been intimate with each other already you cannot reinfect each other again. That is unless one of you cheats and picks up a new strain of HPV. If you are solely monogamous you cannot pass the virus back and forth between each other.
It takes a couple of years for your body to clear the virus.
If you work on your immunity by very healthy diet, not smoking, plenty of exercise and moderate drinking, the virus might never come out of it's dormancy the rest of your life, and you have another 50 or 60 great years ahead of you!
On the other hand, if you do break up, your next partner might not have the strain you had. And if you did not clear it from your body, that is wait enough time like the two or three years, your new partner may catch it. Or the new partner may not have cleared his HPV, and you might catch the strain he has. So condoms would be the rule. And dental dams if he performs oral on you.
In my next relationship, it will be condoms and dental dams for three years, then I would feel safer with her after that for bare back!
I think your doctor is right on, about the three year thing. Remember, most HPV cannot be seen. That is the high risk HPV. This is why you cannot tell if someone you just met today has not cleared his HPV.
It takes a couple of years for your body to clear the virus.
If you work on your immunity by very healthy diet, not smoking, plenty of exercise and moderate drinking, the virus might never come out of it's dormancy the rest of your life, and you have another 50 or 60 great years ahead of you!
On the other hand, if you do break up, your next partner might not have the strain you had. And if you did not clear it from your body, that is wait enough time like the two or three years, your new partner may catch it. Or the new partner may not have cleared his HPV, and you might catch the strain he has. So condoms would be the rule. And dental dams if he performs oral on you.
In my next relationship, it will be condoms and dental dams for three years, then I would feel safer with her after that for bare back!
I think your doctor is right on, about the three year thing. Remember, most HPV cannot be seen. That is the high risk HPV. This is why you cannot tell if someone you just met today has not cleared his HPV.
You are reading content posted in the Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Community
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