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Girl I like has HPV. What to do?
Hi all,
I am a 26 yo Indian male residing in France and I am new to this forum and would really appreciate if someone is able to give me some advice.
I met a 28 yo American woman about a month ago and we got along really well. She is very smart, intelligent and I really seem to like her. About 2 days ago we went to her place and she told me that she does want to have sex with me but admitted that she has HPV. I had very limited knowledge about HPV (i.e. before she told me. Since then I have been hunting the internet)so I did not ask her if she had the 'high risk' or 'low risk' strain of the virus. We ended up not having sex but that was due to another reason. Currently she is travelling and I do intend to have a conversation about this with her once she is back.
Could anyone please tell me as to exactly what risks might be involved if she has high or low risk strain of the virus? And also how susceptible am I to any diseases caused by these strains.
Also, what would be best way to handle this situation? As in should I really be worried if I do have protected sex with her?
Thanks a tonne!
I am a 26 yo Indian male residing in France and I am new to this forum and would really appreciate if someone is able to give me some advice.
I met a 28 yo American woman about a month ago and we got along really well. She is very smart, intelligent and I really seem to like her. About 2 days ago we went to her place and she told me that she does want to have sex with me but admitted that she has HPV. I had very limited knowledge about HPV (i.e. before she told me. Since then I have been hunting the internet)so I did not ask her if she had the 'high risk' or 'low risk' strain of the virus. We ended up not having sex but that was due to another reason. Currently she is travelling and I do intend to have a conversation about this with her once she is back.
Could anyone please tell me as to exactly what risks might be involved if she has high or low risk strain of the virus? And also how susceptible am I to any diseases caused by these strains.
Also, what would be best way to handle this situation? As in should I really be worried if I do have protected sex with her?
Thanks a tonne!
Best Answer
hi there, i just found out yesterday that i have hpv, and i have a boyfriend and he is really supportive with it. the difference between high and low risk mean the chance of getting cancer. most people don't get cancer from hpv, but it is one of the causes. the virus is silent for the most part, especially in men. most men actually don't show symptoms which is why the virus is passed on so frequently. in fact more than half the population has an hpv strain. you may even have it and never know it. as for safe sex, a condom is a must, and if there are lesions, doctors suggest to post pone sex, for it is far more contagious at that time. because the condom only covers the shaft, what me and my boyfriend do, is he put on the condom, and then a pair of underwear with a hole in the front to cover the rest of his skin. im not sure if that works, but its something the both of us figured out a way of not having skin on skin contact.
If it were me in your position, having gone through my own bout with low-risk warts I'd approach it a bit cautiously but not too much so. First of all, you'll need to determine if it's low risk or high risk. Also see if she has any idea when she may have become infected as that'll help you get an idea for how much time she has left. In France, I'm not sure of what types of HPV tests are available to you both, but for fun I'd be interested in the strain types if it's high-risk though that is not a big deal in your decision making.
Remember that if she has high-risk HPV you will not show symptoms nor have any effects from the virus on your genitals. If you go down on her, there is a small chance you could get it transferred to your throat and another small chance of getting throat cancer down the road. This is not very likely but is on the rise according to studies. If you are worried about it, I'd spend $20 on the expert section and ask the doctors there just how big a risk they think this exposure to be. Also, ask them about low-risk and oral as well. Another way to research this site is to keyword on the expert forum things like oral/throat/mouth and hpv/warts or stuff like that. You'll find many previously asked questions answered by the experts.
I personally don't see sex with a condom as that big of a risk. Just make sure that as you progress through your sexual encounter that you take care not to touch or rub your parts together in a way that increases risk. Leave your underwear on during the kissing and rubbing foreplay moments for instance. Don't rub your erection all over her down there prior to putting a condom on is another easy mitigation. Mutual masturbation is a great technique for a hot, yet safe, foreplay fun time. Then, put that condom and proceed. Just be aware that the area the condom doesn't cover is at risk of infection. That's the riskier side of all of this, that area. But it's not guaranteed that you'll get it there nor touted as super likely so personally I'd just go for it.
As far as asking her to drink plenty of water, fruits, veggies and exercise 5 times a week, I think that's a bit much. Being healthy is indeed a good course of action for helping your immune system sequester the virus as quickly as possible, so it's good advice to be healthy. But thinking this extreme behavior will help that much is in my opinion not as effective as simply living normally.
Hope some of this helps bro.
Remember that if she has high-risk HPV you will not show symptoms nor have any effects from the virus on your genitals. If you go down on her, there is a small chance you could get it transferred to your throat and another small chance of getting throat cancer down the road. This is not very likely but is on the rise according to studies. If you are worried about it, I'd spend $20 on the expert section and ask the doctors there just how big a risk they think this exposure to be. Also, ask them about low-risk and oral as well. Another way to research this site is to keyword on the expert forum things like oral/throat/mouth and hpv/warts or stuff like that. You'll find many previously asked questions answered by the experts.
I personally don't see sex with a condom as that big of a risk. Just make sure that as you progress through your sexual encounter that you take care not to touch or rub your parts together in a way that increases risk. Leave your underwear on during the kissing and rubbing foreplay moments for instance. Don't rub your erection all over her down there prior to putting a condom on is another easy mitigation. Mutual masturbation is a great technique for a hot, yet safe, foreplay fun time. Then, put that condom and proceed. Just be aware that the area the condom doesn't cover is at risk of infection. That's the riskier side of all of this, that area. But it's not guaranteed that you'll get it there nor touted as super likely so personally I'd just go for it.
As far as asking her to drink plenty of water, fruits, veggies and exercise 5 times a week, I think that's a bit much. Being healthy is indeed a good course of action for helping your immune system sequester the virus as quickly as possible, so it's good advice to be healthy. But thinking this extreme behavior will help that much is in my opinion not as effective as simply living normally.
Hope some of this helps bro.
HPV
With condom - Chances are lowered but possible to get it thru contact (Thigh area, buttocks, pubic)
With condom and boxers still lowered but possible.
Plastic boxers upto knee and condom - almost nil.
Oral - chances are possible not very high but 30% (if you give her oral .. more chance of getting in mouth than a women getting it from man orally) but if she has it orally she can give it to you on genital.
Kissing (DFK) - idk maybe less than 2% chance.
Be her friend and be supportive.
Don't get involved now with her .. wait at least 12 months.
Ask her to drink plenty of water, fruits, veggies and exercise 5 times a week.
With condom - Chances are lowered but possible to get it thru contact (Thigh area, buttocks, pubic)
With condom and boxers still lowered but possible.
Plastic boxers upto knee and condom - almost nil.
Oral - chances are possible not very high but 30% (if you give her oral .. more chance of getting in mouth than a women getting it from man orally) but if she has it orally she can give it to you on genital.
Kissing (DFK) - idk maybe less than 2% chance.
Be her friend and be supportive.
Don't get involved now with her .. wait at least 12 months.
Ask her to drink plenty of water, fruits, veggies and exercise 5 times a week.
Thanks vix8, that really helps. Could you also tell me about the dangers involved with oral sex - giving and receiving?
Really appreciate your help.
Really appreciate your help.
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