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HPV16
Dr. Handsfield-
In September 2007, I had an abnormal pap test result (LSILs) but the two I got after that (April 2008 and September 2008) were clear. However, my most recent pap test came back saying that I had HPV-16. Needless to say, I was really upset. I was scared for my health, but also for the health of my partner. When him and I started dating in 2006, I had an STI test and it came back clear so we began a sexually intimate relationship with that in mind (he was a virgin). We're in a long distance relationship right now so we're not having a lot of sex, but when I saw him over the holidays I was totally devastated. I feel dirty and ashamed. I thought I was a good, honest, self-respecting person but it's hard to feel that way when you have an STI.
I've been doing a lot of research on the internet (a lot of which is garbage, I know) but I can't relax about it and have been extremely depressed. I feel like I've ruined my life and that, if my boyfriend knew, he wouldn't want me anymore. I know I'm making the situation worse by not telling him, but I honestly believe that he would not sleep with me again if he knew and would pass judgment and maybe not want to be with me anymore.
HPV is hard to understand because I hear "cancer" and get scared, but then I hear from some doctors (like my doctor and you) that it's not a big deal... It's so unsettling and I wish I just didn't know the truth. I can't sleep and I've lost 15 pounds since September because of my emotional state over it. I'm worried that since I had that LSIL test result at age 21, that I could have cervical cancer by 30 and not be able to have kids or that I'll die young.
I just don't know what to do now. Life doesn't seem worth living if I can't be married, have children, and be happy and healthy.
In September 2007, I had an abnormal pap test result (LSILs) but the two I got after that (April 2008 and September 2008) were clear. However, my most recent pap test came back saying that I had HPV-16. Needless to say, I was really upset. I was scared for my health, but also for the health of my partner. When him and I started dating in 2006, I had an STI test and it came back clear so we began a sexually intimate relationship with that in mind (he was a virgin). We're in a long distance relationship right now so we're not having a lot of sex, but when I saw him over the holidays I was totally devastated. I feel dirty and ashamed. I thought I was a good, honest, self-respecting person but it's hard to feel that way when you have an STI.
I've been doing a lot of research on the internet (a lot of which is garbage, I know) but I can't relax about it and have been extremely depressed. I feel like I've ruined my life and that, if my boyfriend knew, he wouldn't want me anymore. I know I'm making the situation worse by not telling him, but I honestly believe that he would not sleep with me again if he knew and would pass judgment and maybe not want to be with me anymore.
HPV is hard to understand because I hear "cancer" and get scared, but then I hear from some doctors (like my doctor and you) that it's not a big deal... It's so unsettling and I wish I just didn't know the truth. I can't sleep and I've lost 15 pounds since September because of my emotional state over it. I'm worried that since I had that LSIL test result at age 21, that I could have cervical cancer by 30 and not be able to have kids or that I'll die young.
I just don't know what to do now. Life doesn't seem worth living if I can't be married, have children, and be happy and healthy.
http://www.hpvfaq.com/hpv101.asp
That's a comforting place to start
I've had hpv for 16 years, I'm 35 and I'm still here! I have 2 kids, I'm married..... There IS life with hpv. It's not easy. My hpv has been a long drawn out battle and I doubt it'll ever really end for me. But you have at least one very comforting statistic on your side. Only 3-5% of cancer causing hpv carriers ever actually develope cervical cancer. That is a very low number so take comfort in that.
On to the b/f - For better or for worse, you have to tell him. It's just the right thing to do. What if you have sex with him unprotected, then somewhere down the road, it doesn't work out? You will have planted a virulent viral seed in him that could and just might kill other innocent women! Can your concience bear that down the road on top of everything else that you have to live with as it already is? This really isn't just about you. Every action or inaction sets off a chain of events. Look at all of the possibilities (future and broad), and make the wisest choice based on the greater good. We who are the carriers and transmitters have to look at our bodies very differently from the rest of the others. We have to protect ourselves from quantifying our infectious load by way of unprotected contact with other infecteds. At the same time, we the infected, have to protect the others from becoming infected carriers like us. There's alot of responsibility in that. I'm lucky, I've never transmitted it to any of my partners, Then again, I think my case is just wierd to begin with. But I wasn't lucky enough to not have it spread to me.
That's a comforting place to start
I've had hpv for 16 years, I'm 35 and I'm still here! I have 2 kids, I'm married..... There IS life with hpv. It's not easy. My hpv has been a long drawn out battle and I doubt it'll ever really end for me. But you have at least one very comforting statistic on your side. Only 3-5% of cancer causing hpv carriers ever actually develope cervical cancer. That is a very low number so take comfort in that.
On to the b/f - For better or for worse, you have to tell him. It's just the right thing to do. What if you have sex with him unprotected, then somewhere down the road, it doesn't work out? You will have planted a virulent viral seed in him that could and just might kill other innocent women! Can your concience bear that down the road on top of everything else that you have to live with as it already is? This really isn't just about you. Every action or inaction sets off a chain of events. Look at all of the possibilities (future and broad), and make the wisest choice based on the greater good. We who are the carriers and transmitters have to look at our bodies very differently from the rest of the others. We have to protect ourselves from quantifying our infectious load by way of unprotected contact with other infecteds. At the same time, we the infected, have to protect the others from becoming infected carriers like us. There's alot of responsibility in that. I'm lucky, I've never transmitted it to any of my partners, Then again, I think my case is just wierd to begin with. But I wasn't lucky enough to not have it spread to me.
he was very understanding when I told him I have been with him for 8 yrs
What was his reaction when you told him?? Did he freak out a bit or was he understanding?
this is in regards to your post
I have had normal papsmears all my life and I got diagnosed with hpv, I had gotten scared for my life and for my partner because I did not know if I was gonna be able to tell him feeling he would break up with me because of hpv. I have been with him for eight years and I feel if I told him that the 8 yrs I been with him that he would not stay. well I did end up telling him and till this day I am still with him and he is the (LOVE OF MY LIFE)
I have had normal papsmears all my life and I got diagnosed with hpv, I had gotten scared for my life and for my partner because I did not know if I was gonna be able to tell him feeling he would break up with me because of hpv. I have been with him for eight years and I feel if I told him that the 8 yrs I been with him that he would not stay. well I did end up telling him and till this day I am still with him and he is the (LOVE OF MY LIFE)
I just realized that Dr. Handsfield doesn't respond to these posts, but I'm going to leave it up for anyone else who has support.
You are reading content posted in the Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
