How do you tell a partner about HPV, pls help???

[worriedwart2009]

Hi there,
2 and a half years ago I was diagnosed with GW's, I had them treated and have been clear for 27 months. I have been seeing a guy for about 5months now, he is  great, we are serious about each other, theres talk of moving in next year and future plans (marraige etc).
We'v been using protection during sex, however we would both like to go without. The problem is, he does not know about my GW's 2,5yrs ago...
Now I know that by now, it is very, very unlikely they will reoccur or infect someone else (ie: him), but Im still terrified they might, if not now, possibly in the future, like when Im pregnant and then have to explain. So I feel it would be the right thing to tell him now...but HOW??? How do you tell someone without coming off sounding like your confessing a terrifying disfiguring disease and losing them. Its all fair and well to say "If he loves you he'll stick by you", but even so...ppl may want to except it, but come intimacy...thats all they gona be thinking about!! This is about the hardest thing Iv ever had to do in my life!!! Im really struggeling with it and am hoping someone has some experience/good advice????

[worriedwart2009]

Thanks guys!!! You are all truely amazing for reading my post and offering reassurrance and kind words...honestly Im so grateful, it actually bought a tear to my eye!!!
Well...I told him just this eve...he was so calm and unfazed...I was like, am I missing something, have I told him everything, how is this so easy!!??
He said "whats in your past is in your past"!!! "If you have no warts now, then its fine, if they come back obviously tell me". It was so not the reaction I expected, which I told him and he said..."even if youd had something bad, I wouldnt have broken up with you, we would have just carried on using protection!" He said he was really glad I told him and the conversation carried on as normal! WOW!
To turkey...thanks for the advice and info! To summergirl122: Think I helped you out with a question the other day. You returned the favour, thanks for the reassuring info:). To needzumhelp, great advice and caring words thanx! So true I tried not to cry (hard, but I didnt!), I stayed calm and matter factly, ovoided scarey words and confession type lines, like "I need to tell you sumthing". To Max, my situation sounds very similar to yours...my BF lives in Netherlands, I live in London, wev been seeing each other for 6 months, but as its long distance only really been a serious relationship last couple months. If you want to leave me a note, we can chat!? Maybe I can be of some help to someone else who is feeling how I felt.
Thanks again ALL...take care :)

[Max967]

worriedwart2009:

I am going through a similar dilemma.  I've posted before in the expert forum, and my diagnosis is uncertain, but I feel that I do have GW.

I'm developing strong feelings for a girl that I've started seeing, and I'm terrified of telling her what's going on.  I don't want to tell her unless I think this is going to be something lasting and long term.  We haven't been physical yet, although it's going to go that route, I'm sure.

So, I'm thinking that it's going to be long-term with her, and it's just boiling down to a matter of timing.  She lives kind of far away, and I don't want her buying any plane tix, arriving here, and then having me spring this on her.  I just wish I knew what her reaction was going to be.

I'm just going to have to tell her, once the time seems right...and it needs to be sooner than later, so if she bolts, there will be less emotional attachment involved.  I wish I knew the "best" way to tell her, but there's no such thing.  You just have to be open and honest, and your sincerity and concern will shine through.  You're a complete, caring human being to have the courage and commitment to broach this subject with your partner.  I say, better to do this, than to live with the guilt of non-disclosure.  (Just flip the situation -- would you want someone not telling you about a past diagnosis, only to find out later in life?)

I suppose I posted just to let you know (1) I think you're doing the right thing by disclosing and informing, and (2) you're not alone, so be strong.

Max

[Summergirl122]

I talked to a STI health nurse or mine, she researches this stuff for a living and is so understanding. I recently asked her basically the same question and here is what she told me.  95% of people get ride of the virus after 2 years, so if you are not a smoker and your take good care of yourself then i think your would be in the 95% category. Once the virus is gone you are immune to it. It won't come back during pregnancy. So after the two years don't worry about it, its something is the past your took care of! Don't live your life in the past, move on.  Although since there is no way of testing males for HPV, if you have sex with out a condom there might be a chance he could have  HPV if he had other partners and had sex with out a condom with them, and you coudl gett a differnt strain from him...

[needzsomehelp]

i feel for you. try your BEST not to act like its hard for you to say. because then it sounds like a big deal and might worry him. try your best and have some confidence. dont use the word warts right away, and share some facts. just breathe! and remember, life goes on. no matter what. stay strong! because as time goes on this will be a thing of the past.

good luck <3

[turkee23]

if you havent had a break out for 6 months to a year then you should be "cleared" of the infection... it could houwever pop bakc up in a few years from now....just have to be honest a nd tell him 8 out of 10 women get HPV and then you get treatment and usually everything is ok after that.... pull up some information on the internet and show him, if it makes him feel better take him to your next obgyn appt.....