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Newly diagnosed and devastated
I was diagnosed today as having genital warts, and my world fell apart. I am not so much worried about the disease itself but of the social ramifications. Let me start off by saying that I am a beautiful, professional, physically active 28-year old woman. I knew that something like this could happen to me, but I never thought it would. I used to always hope in my heart that only low-lives caught diseases such as this (no disrepect intended). I never thought it could actually happen TO ME! Especially since I had always been so careful with selecting partners, using protection and getting regular check-ups and tests. Truth is, genital warts don't care if you live in the inner city or are a successful, professional person traveling the world. We are all suseptibel. But as I was saying, it isn't so much the symptoms I am worried about, it's having to inform potential partners that I carry the virus. Up to now, I had lived a modern life-style with changing partners and occassional one-night stands and flings. However, never in excess! And I have been seeing a nice and decent guy for about a month now, and soon after I got the diagnosis, I called him. It was the responsible and moral thing to do. Now he is going to get himself tested as well. However, in regard to us, he said he needs time to let this sink in and didn't stop by to see me as he had initially planned before the news. So being honest in this case may have cost me my first relationship. I've been doing research online, and the prevelance of genital warts is apalling and shocking with most people carrying the virus at least sometime in their lifetime, and that every year 1 million Americans get infected. And of course, as with most sexually transmitted diseases, the male may be a carrier but have no symptoms and the disease cannot be detacted, even if he is a carrier, and we women are then denounced and stigmatized. However, I am not worried about the warts, as those are treatable. I really hope there are a lot of understanding men out there. My mother told me that I have nothing to be ashamed of and have no excuses to make. It is as it is, and could have happened to anybody - as it most likely already has because most don't show any symptoms but can still pass it along.... What I am hoping to look for on this site is people with similar situations. I want to discuss out others are dealing with the same problem - not so much the warts themslves but the changes to the previous lifestyle. My greatest concern is not so much being able to find a partner who will accept me for me - warts and all. My worries are of finding a partner who will risk the disease to be with me. Does that make sense?
i thought that HPV was for promiscuous ppl it is def EEO....of that i am not and never was!i was celibate for 10 years....believed my x when he said he was 2 for 3 years....or his heavy smoking coulda suppressed the virus and i got high risk HPV and had to have a LEEP.I am older than u gals here...approaching 53 professional home paid off ..and my concern is my health NUMERO UNO...and if i good man chances my way or appears to be a good one i have a concern as to what std he could be bringing me..i don't want to have another LEEP or chance getting another std.I believe in monogomy for me....seems to be a fading foreign concept..and whats available in my age range wants multiple partners and no committment to monogomy which i can forego.I hope u ladies put ur health first and foremost.......and my hope for u r that a good man chance ur way but u must make efforts to find out their std history for there is worse ou there than hpv and warts u could get and i'm sure damn glad i didn't catch something worse...and will do my damndest not 2 do so!like empathy said read the doctors forum std's archives and responses to ppl very educational.......i had to shake my head tonite....some guy wrote that he and three women have a sex trio and they all have sex with each other and no new ppl.......JEEZ!i'm glad i'm celibate!what a world!sigh!:))))
Oh my, have I been in your spot.
And I may get some heck for it by other members who don't agree with this policy (this is a doctor policy, I didn't just make it up), but you do know that after you've been wart free for 6+ months you have no ethical obligation according to experts to disclose this information to partners anymore? And you do know that the virus goes latent within 6-24 months (8 months average for those with warts) and you can't transmit it anymore (this is relatively new research, the old research used to indicate you were contagious forever)? I wasn't educated initially about HPV and thought it was a lifelong affliction like HSV2. You should check out Dr. HHH's information about genital wart disclosure in the expert forum- this may answer a lot of your questions. Anyhow, some choose to disclose for the rest of their lives. Others only do when they become involved in a serious relationship and lose the condoms. Some never do. Some more compassionate and sensitive personalities may not feel comfortable not disclosing to potential partners. But there is a very small chance that after you've been clear of warts for 6 or more months you'd be able to infect someone or that you'd ever get them again. And if you did, it'd probably be due to a reinfection. Either way, realize that this affliction isn't lifelong. Since the science isn't crystal clear regarding HPV, neither are the ethics. Ultimately, the decision you make about whether to disclose or not is yours.
(But definitely check out the expert forums- it's got some great advice!)
And I may get some heck for it by other members who don't agree with this policy (this is a doctor policy, I didn't just make it up), but you do know that after you've been wart free for 6+ months you have no ethical obligation according to experts to disclose this information to partners anymore? And you do know that the virus goes latent within 6-24 months (8 months average for those with warts) and you can't transmit it anymore (this is relatively new research, the old research used to indicate you were contagious forever)? I wasn't educated initially about HPV and thought it was a lifelong affliction like HSV2. You should check out Dr. HHH's information about genital wart disclosure in the expert forum- this may answer a lot of your questions. Anyhow, some choose to disclose for the rest of their lives. Others only do when they become involved in a serious relationship and lose the condoms. Some never do. Some more compassionate and sensitive personalities may not feel comfortable not disclosing to potential partners. But there is a very small chance that after you've been clear of warts for 6 or more months you'd be able to infect someone or that you'd ever get them again. And if you did, it'd probably be due to a reinfection. Either way, realize that this affliction isn't lifelong. Since the science isn't crystal clear regarding HPV, neither are the ethics. Ultimately, the decision you make about whether to disclose or not is yours.
(But definitely check out the expert forums- it's got some great advice!)
Yes indeed ! its a scary thing to think about . and saying to yourself why me . But im sure we will be fine and hopefully they are working on a cure for it . Because reading and seeing how many ppl are infected with this is unbeleavable . im also dealing with endometrial and ovairan scare too . i have tumors in my uterus , cysts on my ovaries and a 2cm thick abnormal endometrial lining pushing to the left. And found out that my grandmother died of ovarian cancer . she had a 18lb tumor on her ovary . i know these differnat types of cancers have nothing to do with the other ones. but i know it scares the poop outta me !!! And now i also think i have rheumatoid arthristis , mother has and grand mother had it ! But i havent went to get that checked yet . but from what my mother and grandmother went through and seeing where there pains where and what i feel . i wouldnt doubt it if i might have it to . i know i probley down like a disaster waiting to happen lol .......... 2young
Dear 2Young,
Thank you for taking the time to post a comment. I don't know much about the strain of HPV that causes cervical cancer because the one that causes genital warts is different. I do hope there is treatment for you, and that it was diagnosed soon enough and that you won't eventually get cancer. As for genital warts, I have to be careful for the rest of my life about getting outbreaks and the potential of passing it on to new parters. You are lucky to already be in a loving, committed relationship. Your husband either already had the HPV virus when he met you or he became a carrier through you. And since you've already been together for 8 years, it really doesn't matter and shouldn't change things between the two of you. I now have to be morally responsible and tell every potential sexual partner that I am a carrier - it is the right thing to do. Unfortunately most don't want to hear that they are already carriers - especially if they have had numerous sexual partners. This damn virus is very common and condoms don't offer sufficient protection because it's the skin on skin contact, even on the groin and thighs, which can transfer it. I will be thinking of you and praying that your biopsy results come back negative. I really hope that both of us can get our HPV under control.
-Liz
Thank you for taking the time to post a comment. I don't know much about the strain of HPV that causes cervical cancer because the one that causes genital warts is different. I do hope there is treatment for you, and that it was diagnosed soon enough and that you won't eventually get cancer. As for genital warts, I have to be careful for the rest of my life about getting outbreaks and the potential of passing it on to new parters. You are lucky to already be in a loving, committed relationship. Your husband either already had the HPV virus when he met you or he became a carrier through you. And since you've already been together for 8 years, it really doesn't matter and shouldn't change things between the two of you. I now have to be morally responsible and tell every potential sexual partner that I am a carrier - it is the right thing to do. Unfortunately most don't want to hear that they are already carriers - especially if they have had numerous sexual partners. This damn virus is very common and condoms don't offer sufficient protection because it's the skin on skin contact, even on the groin and thighs, which can transfer it. I will be thinking of you and praying that your biopsy results come back negative. I really hope that both of us can get our HPV under control.
-Liz
i totaly understand how you feel , first off im your every day average woman,housewife and mother. i wasnt expecting to het high-risk hpv either . mine as far i know isnt warts but it might be the cervical cancer type . im still waiting for my biopsy results and im also getting another test done in may . As far as contracting ive read that men and women are carriers and for all you know he could of givin it to u .There are alot of women on this site with hpv and alot of them are very baffled as to how they got it . and i know im one of them expecially when ive been with my hubby for 8 yrs and we have been very faithful with one another and openly honest too . You will be amazed on exaclty how many ppl have this . whether they are low life or everyday or high standered ppl . and some ppl think low of themselfs because of this , well you shouldnt .your still that high standered person so please dont think differntly of yourself . sorry for some of the mispellings . lol im just as confused and these women on here have big hearts and are very caring from what ive read . As for risking all you can do be honest with your parteners , and make sure you go to your gyn every yr for your paps, i myself dont know much about this i am also new to this . i have alot of questions too . But you cant beat yourself up over it . Just take it one day at atime . i hope ive enlited you a little and ill be here for you if u need anything !
You are reading content posted in the Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Community
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