I'm so sorry you're going through this. It must be extremely hard.
But first, take a step back, take a deep breath, and relax. You aren't going to give your children warts by kissing them goodnight.
First off, HPV virus needs to be massaged into tissue to infect it. Also, it needs to be direct skin to skin contact.
Second, your dentist is a pro. He/she would have known if you were infected with oral warts. It isn't possible that he/she would have missed an infection.
Third, as you say, oral warts are extremely rare.
Fourth, even if you DID have oral warts, your body would clear the virus within a few months.
It is difficult to have perspective when you are "in it" and freaked out, but trust me, you're overreacting. You need to try to relax. If you can't, I would recommend seeking the help of a mental health professional. They will be able to provide peace of mind better than strangers on the Internet can.
It will take a few months for the fright and paranoia to wear off and your life to get back to normal. I suggest you stick to reading the Experts' STD forum and avoid the sensationalist web sites. The layman and news media sites want you to think you will die of HPV. There are two main motivations: The big drug companies making Gardasil and the Christian Taliban who want to control everyon'e sex life. This is why you should never read about STDs in the mainstream media.