Seeking info on HPV

[CursedGirl]

Hi, recently a friend of mine confided in me that he has HPV, although he doesn't know which strain it is, all he knows is that it's the type that causes genital warts (he had 2 warts). He was diagnosed 6 years ago but it was a rather stressful/traumatic experience for him that led to a possible lack of care with his illness. Basically his doctor at the time told him "a wart's a wart, doesn't matter where it is" and told him to put Compound W on them until they go away - one went away but left a noticeable scar, the other reduced in size but there is still a noticable bump on his penis 6 years later.

He had gone to an STD clinic hoping they would be more helpful but he got jostled around in a group of people and ended up with his penis on display for his doctor to teach students - it was such an embarassing ordeal that he left and never went back. The problem is that due to the stress and embarassment he went through 6 years ago when first diagnosed he never went to see another doctor and hasn't spoken about it again until just now when he told me and he only confided in me because i have Herpes - so we both have embarassing genital health issues which made it easier for him to open up to me.

I told him about this website as i am on here in order to get help and support for Herpes and i tried to convince him to check out the HPV forums on here but even though there is anonymity here he was still too discouraged to look into it so i told him i would do it for him if he wanted me to, hence the reason i am here.

I read that usually the body will "cure" itself of HPV in 2 years after being infected (and yes i do realize it's something you have for life but i couldn't think of a better term than "cure"). Is that true - can the body cause the disease to become dormant over time or does that depend on the strain you have? If he can still see the bump from the partially treated wart from 6 years ago, does that mean it could still be transmissible? If he was to go back to a doctor now could they swab it to see if it's still active or would it just simply confirm that he has HPV regardless as to whether it's active or dormant? The warts are near the base of his penis so there is no way that a condom can cover it - what does that mean for his sex life? (He has abstained from sex since the diagnosis as he wasn't well informed about the disease).

If he and i were to become intimate would he be more at risk of catching HSV from me and me more at risk of catching HPV from him due to the fact that our immune systems are compromised due to our illnesses? Is there a way to make it safer (as i already mentionned that a condom won't protect us as it doesn't cover where his warts are and HSV can also be transmitted with condom use).

Any information that you could give me would be greatly appreciated, or if you know of a helpful website, i would love to know about it as i have finally started to make peace with my own illness and i would like to help him find peace with his. Thank you.

[SkaterDave]

Your friend is going through needless trauma that is purely a construct of his own mind, beliefs and perceptions and such.  Warts are no big deal and to be affected this much by this is not cool.  In the past I've been really sympathetic and I am right now too, but you need to tell him to buck up and grow a pair and face it down.  HPV isn't a terrible STD to have, he needs to do research and understand the virus and know it's just a skin condition that happens to be on your penis.  To abstain from sex for six years because he's not getting informed is a travesty of life if you ask me.  For the life of me I have never understood that kind of behavior as the very first thing I did was learn all I can about it, at least where men are concerned.  

I don't know why they haven't gone away completely yet.  Most warts resolve on there own in less than three years even without treatment I've read.  I have zero knowledge on this though.  With treatment you can expect up to two years from start to finish before you don't get any recurrences anymore.  

My recommendation for him is to stop stigmatizing himself.  He needs to realize that nearly everyone has this.  I have friends who are poly amorous and they all sleep together and sleep around. IT's crazy how promiscuous they are.  I chatted with ehr about warts and HPV in general the other day and she said that it's just assumed you have it or had it and no one even talks about it is that common.  It's less common for "regular folks" such as ourselves, but it's very very common.  You get it, you treat it, you fight it off, you move on.  So, get your friend into the doctor.  If you want, have them remove it and send it in for a biopsy if he want to know for sure it's a wart.  Usually people aren't contagious after six years but since it's still there I don't really know.  Go to the doctor and buck up some courage and the will to learn the facts.  That's the best offense.  He can do it.  If he's scared or depressed, talk sense into him and pump him up until he does.  Good luck.

[LightningF]

i've been doing researches myself, including asking different dermatologists and doctors from STD clinics in real life. HPV is something you would get for the rest of your life, indeed, but your body may be able to force it to go dormant (after 6-24 months of initial infection).

However, there's no definitive answer to whether someone can still infect his/her partner even after he passed that 1-2 years period. The possibility will be always there but way smaller i believe. Also you have to keep in mind 1-2 years period timeframe is just for 90% of people, 10% would take longer time like 3 years or 4 years or maybe even unable to fight the infection for the rest of his life although the chance is very small for this one.