Tell or Not

[2mel]

I had unprotected sex knowing that I had low risk HPV.  I feel terribly guilty and want to know what the right to do is.  Do I tell him that I might have put him at risk or not?  I know how common this is and that he probably already has it. I dont want to scare him because there is no way for him to know if he has it or not.  But I dont want him to pass it to other women.  Anyway, I am worried that he will over react.  This is someone I may not see again.  Do I go out of my way to give him this information?  I dont want him spreading it around town either.  Ive definitely learned my lesson and will not have unprotected sex again.  Please give me some feedback. Thanks

[Amie635]

You did the right thing - very brave. I'm glad he took it well, you never know. My partner was lucky enough to be very understanding too.

[2mel]

Thanks.  I actually did tell him over the phone.  It was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  He was upset, but took it pretty well all in all.  I also sent him information on e-mail about HPV and he appreciated that.  Still feel bad, but now I can move forward.  

[Amie635]

It is a difficult situation because if I were him I'd definately want to be told as a warning and for an apology which I am sure you are willing to give. But then if I were you I'd be scared about an over reaction people tend to have when they hear about HPV and learn its an STD.

For the best of both worlds, you could always email him from a new account anonomously, not saying who you are but saying you are a past sexual partner and you have low risk hpv. You could also explain your sorry and tel him all the facts so he isn't in a state of confusion. This would stop you worrying about him telling others out of anger and people being judgmental, and would also gave him the infomation he needs as well as an apology. Although it is difficult to know if he will actually tell others because then he would be affectively admitting he has it himself.

That is just an option, it is up to you. It's always best to tel, however you do it. It may clear your conscionce and guilt if you come clean - annonomously or not. You never know, he might react really well and if your comfortable you can say who you are.