Was lied to, now exposed to HPV. Help!

[Chris212]

Asked her when we were talking if she was clean, lied to my face and now I recently was informed by my girlfriend of 6 months that she has/had HPV, why am i not surprised. She tells me this has caused her cervical cancer, but said she was treated and has gone back periodically with negative results . I have had unprotected and protected sex with her on and off, so i am pretty sure I've exposed to it. My question is, now that i have been exposed to this virus what should i expect? warts (where), etc....? any help would be greatly appreciated. On a side note I've tried to do some of my own research but there tons of info that contradict each other, so I figure I would ask her for clear straight answer here. please help me understand, recognize symptoms, how to get tested, long term health effects, and how to avoid reinfection or spreading and especially how to rid this virus out of my body and become HPV free. Thank you!

[Chris212]

In addition, how do i know which strand i have been exposed to, i really dont want warts on my mouth or gentials; and which strands are the bad ones that cause pain etc, help!

[lving4today]

Ok, first of all, from your tone you act like she's cheated or has been deceitful. Understand that other than abnormal cell changes, she wouldn't know otherwise. She honestly probably didn't think she had anything until her pap. It happens like that.

As a male the cancer of the penis is very rare. And while yes, you are probably exposed to it, but it really has no implications and there's no way to know for sure. There are no tests for men unless you have visual warts (low-risk). There are no symptoms for men with high risk HPV. Just go on about life and realize how common this really is. Don't let this put a strain on your relationship. Also, look around on the expert forums about it to help clear your answers up.

[alexdelong]

The key to your post is that she has since had repeated negative results. This virus is no longer affecting her, and is in her past. (the median infection time is only 8 months)


Almost everybody who is sexually active will get at least one strain of HPV in their lives. They clear it without noticing most of the time. There is nothing unique about your situation, and no need to be concerned. You can be sure that most of your future partners will have also had a HPV infection in their past.

Some additional info: The strains that can cause cancer do not cause warts, and the strains that cause warts are not responsible for cancer. HPV itself does not cause pain.

There is no test for HPV in men.

[Chris212]

she knew she had HPV, before we became intimate, i asked her to come clean with me about her past, she lied. I'm a reasonable guy, and understanding so i wouldn't have turned her away just take proper caution. People should not lie, i know several people who have got beaten real bad for withholding this from there partners. People please come clean i know its hard to say, but its best to be honest.

[Chris212]

thank you for your reply, and thank you also lving4today. Your advice and info gives light to my darkness and confusion. Is HPV cured once infection is gone or when medicine is taken? or is it recurring as herpes? On another note,  on average HPV in men usually causes warts or what?, I would like to know so i can keep an eye out. thanks again

[alexdelong]

You are right, partners should be honest with each other. In my opinion, when asked about the past, the only acceptable answers are the truth, or "it's non of your business". This should make it easier to determine your risk.


There is no medication that can cure HPV. There are treatments than can assist the process though. Eventually a person's immune system clears the virus, usually completely, but in rare cases there can be repeat outbreaks. This is different from Herpes, which never goes away. The median infection time is 8 months. Almost all infections are cleared within 2 years.

This is why her past infection shouldn't affect you. She has cleared the virus.

Warts are the most common symptom of HPV in men, but most men with HPV do not have warts. There are many strains of HPV, many effect the genitals, many do not. Of the genital infections, only some cause warts, the others do not. The strains that can cause cervical cancer do not cause warts.

[alexdelong]

One last comment on the lies. If the question was, are you clean, she told the truth. She only lied if the question was have you ever had an STD.

[kdaily]

You should have also known that if you want the truth you get tested, you and your partner should have gotten a full STD panel and you should have asked to seen any results, some can tell you they don't have an STD and they could just not know it or could be lying.

[turkee23]

i think you need to CHILL out!!!!.....seriously....THE GIRL PROBABLY DIDNT KNOW SHE HAD IT!!!!..you ALREADY said she has the cancer causing strand, WHICH SHE WOULD NOT HAVE ANY SYMPTOMS!!!...NONE!!!...ITS ON HER CERVIX THAT YOU CANT EVEN SEE !!!!....she woulda been lying if she had warts and she told you NO, those are visible and then she woulda known something was going on..if she got it b4 she wouldnt know when or with who she got it!! they CANT tell who or when you contract it!!!!.....actually im pretty sure you have it now too... you had unprotected sex with her and she has HPV so most likely you have it too...like alex said penial cancer is extremly rare , but it could happen, maybe not now, but maybe in 10 years,WHO KNOWS!!.but very unlikely , who know 10 years from now you might give you wife at the time HPV and then she going to think your a "liar" cause you didnt know you had it and passed it along...so yea i agree with alex it sounds like she has cleared the virus if she is getting normal paps back, but there is always a chance it could come back (rare)... so i think you need to just relax and be there for her, but im going to be honest and not care how you take this, but while i was reading it i felt bad for your lady, with your "i know several people who have got beaten real bad for withholding this from there partners" sounds like you just going to haul off and punch her. how about being a supportive boyfriend and be there for her (even though it sounds like she doesnt need support cause she had NORMAL PAP SMEARS!!!) instead of calling her a liar....deal with it or leave!....its that simple

[simplynat]

an std panel does not detect HPV. THe only approved HPV test is used on women only and it can only detect an active infection. If the virus is dormant when tested it will not be detected. If she knew and didn't tell then that was wrong however, as sad as it is, many women have no idea that HPV is the causitive factor for cervical dysplasia and cancer. Many, many, MANY women have an abnormal pap but do not know wy that is. Most doctors don't even test for HPV until a woman is 30 (as most women younger will test positive anyway) and they might not even disclose to a woman that HPV is what caused the cervical abnormalities. This all may have been something that she may have learned AFTER she was treated for it. IT's possible she had no idea what caused the cervical dysplasia and it's possible she wasn't tested for HPV until latler. (usually 6-12 months after a procedure to remove the abnormal cells) and it may have been then that she finally found out that she had it.

[lving4today]

You're welcome Chris, at first it sounds like much worse of a problem then it really is. And it's more the stigma of having an STD then anything else. So let your mind rest.

The way I've been able to keep calm is I look at it as, HPV is common, it's the same thing that happens with common hand warts or others, only difference is it's on your genitals. It will clear in time regardless.

[kdaily]

Yes I know that, thank you. I'm saying for other STDs, You only asked her so you expect to know 100% if someone says "no I don't have an STD" that they really don't.

HPV is not the only STD out there, and if she were infected and KNEW about it when you two were together then you could have asked to see her most recent pap results, you could have put more effort into learning hers and your status before engaging in sexual relations.